I was
sound asleep early on a Saturday morning the summer that I turned nineteen. I
was woken up by my dad yelling from the first floor.
“You
have ten minutes to get ready and be in the car…. We’ve got things to do,
people to meet, breakfast to eat.”
I rolled
over and smashed the pillow over my head. The pillow wasn’t thick enough to
absorb the following attempt to get me out of bed.
Six
thirty in the morning and a British Military Band started marching through the
living room. Led by my father through the dining room and down the basement
steps to my bedroom.
The
bedroom door flew open and standing in the frame was my dad repeating what he
previously said as the blankets are ripped off my bed.
The
Coldstream and Grenadier Guard continued to march through the speakers of my
dad’s stereo in the living room. Luckily my dad marched back up the stairs
without noticing the Old Style bottle on my nightstand.
Ten
minutes later I’m sitting in the front seat of my dad’s Cadillac filled with
cigarette smoke and WGN on the radio. Not good for a nineteen-year-old with a
hangover.
Our
first stop was Oak Park Bank on the corner of Marion and Lake Street. Then we
walked up the street to the travel agent. My dad had long conversations with
both the bank teller and the travel agent. Everyone loved talking with Don
Shepley. I just wanted breakfast.
We
finally walked into the diner across the street from the bank. The hostess sat
us down, handed us our menus and poured our coffee.
A few
minutes later the waitress came to take our order. She was a knockout. I could
barely stammer my order to her because I was so taken back by her beauty. My
Dad smirked at me and shook his head....
"My
son has a hard time with the English language and seems to be enthralled in
your beauty.”
Don Shepley
always took the opportunity to embarrass his son. The waitress smiled at me as
she took our menus. After she walked away my dad continued to grill me about my
awkward breakfast order.
He
asked me what I was attracted to the most about our waitress. That summer was
the time in our relationship when my dad treated me less as a boy and more like
a man. The conversations were more about politics, current events, historic
events and women.
I was
always nervous talking about the last subject with my dad, but that didn’t stop
me that summer morning.
“I
like her cleavage through the buttons of her shirt dad and I like her legs.”
My dad
sat across the table and shook his head. He took a long sip of his coffee and
started telling me about his philosophy on female anatomy.
“Son,
it’s not about tits and ass. There are so many other things about a woman’s
appearance.”
Now
I’m in for a sex education lesson from my dear old father before my omelet
arrives.
"Come
on Moose, she has a gorgeous mouth. Her lips are full, and her smile is
heavenly. That is the first thing you should have noticed.”
I’m
sitting there listening to my dad tell me the waitress has a beautiful mouth. I
just want to eat breakfast and get out before my dad gets another chance at
embarrassing me.
That
was the day I learned that there is more about women than just boobs and booty.
One of many things I learned at a breakfast table from my dad.
Today
is Lips Appreciation Day. If you have someone that lets you lock lips, take
advantage!
