“The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power.”
William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar
When I turned eighteen, my mother took me to vote in my first presidential election. It was 1984. My ma voted for Walter Mondale, and I voted for Ronald Reagan.
My Oldman had a different lesson about elections. He told me it was important to vote for your president, your senators, and your congressman. He believed the elections closest to your front door deserved just as much attention, if not more.
The mayor, the village board, the school board, the county officials, the tax collector, the dog catcher, and especially the judges.
Dad was relentless about judges.
Do your homework, he said. Find out who is qualified, who understands the law, and who has earned the privilege of sitting on the bench. A black robe is not a lifetime achievement award, and the taxpayers are not running a retirement home for political hacks that can’t hold a real job.
He also wanted me to keep an eye on the assclowns who have their hands in my knickers every time I turn around. The greedy pricks reaching for my wallet.
Property taxes, water bills, gas taxes, electric bills, and infrastructure. Roads that look like they survived the Battle of the Bulge. Schools that need to educate children instead of merely spending money on union strikes.
Who is minding the store? Who is spending the money? Who is getting rich while telling the rest of us to tighten our belts?
Shakespeare understood the danger long before anybody invented a political action committee.
“The abuse of greatness is, when it disjoins remorse from power.”
That is the trouble with power. Too many people want the authority, but too few want the accountability.
My political philosophy has never been particularly complicated. Give me a job. Don't take too much of my paycheck. Protect me from assholes, and let me move around freely, provided I am not being an asshole myself.
Take care of the young. Take care of the old. Take care of the American soldier. Stand by our allies and scare the living shit out of our enemies.
…And for God's sake, fix the potholes.
We have spent 250 years arguing about whether this country is swinging too far left or too far right. We have survived wars, depressions, scandals, crooks, fools, and more than a few elected officials who couldn't see the difference between their rearends and a hole in the ground.
Royko called them mealy mouths, Mayor Daley called them fakers, and my Oldman said they talked like men with paper assholes.
We have had our difficulties, but the Republic is still standing.
Not because politicians are particularly brilliant, but because generations of ordinary Americans have gone to work, raised families, paid taxes, served their communities, and kept this country of ours moving along.
Because enough people have cared to hold their government accountable and today we get another chance.
I don't particularly give two shits who you vote for. That is between you, your conscience, and the little curtain at the polling place.
But vote.
Read about the judges. Know who is spending your money and where it is going. Understand who is making decisions about your neighborhood, your schools, and the streets you drive every morning.
Because the people who make those decisions will still be there tomorrow, long after the campaign signs have disappeared.
And one last thing.
If you are going to spend the next few years bitching and moaning about the government, the taxes, the politicians, and the general state of the American experiment, you'd better have an “I Voted” sticker on your lapel today.
Otherwise, save the sermon.
You have no business complaining about who is running the store if you couldn't be bothered to walk through the front door.
Today is going to make Thanksgiving a little more colorful.








