Yesterday was my Felix Unger Day.
If you remember The Odd Couple, November 13th was the day Felix Unger was asked to leave his home.
For me, that day is July 8th.
Nine years ago, I packed up my Chevy Suburban, left behind three beautiful children, Molly the Black Lab, and the Weber grill that was hooked up to the gas line and drove to a third-floor apartment in what I affectionately call the Divorced Dad District.
Yesterday afternoon I dropped Fritz back off at his mom's house and it still hurts. Nine years later, it hurts just as much as that first drive home after the Shepkids first weekend visit.
July 8th was the last morning I woke up under the same roof with the mother of my children. None of us knew it at the time, but it was one of life's many last times.
Robert Frost wrote: "Nature's first green is gold... So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay."
That little poem isn't depressing. It is honest. Children don't stay little. Families don't stay under one roof. Parents don't stay alive forever and neither do we.
When I first moved into this three flat, George, Fritz and Hazel still needed their dad for everything. We built forts in the living room. We made up ridiculous games that only kids understood. The zoo was our adventure, and the swimming pool was an all-day event.
At bedtime Fritz and Hazel crawled into my bed, and they wouldn't fall asleep until they heard Sunrise/Sunset, MoonRiver, and The Rainbow Connection.
Today George lives with me full-time. Fritz comes over about half the time and Hazel wants very little to do with Dad these days. That is what growing up looks like.
The forts disappeared. The bedtime songs fade away. The zoo trips become less frequent. Deeper voices show up replacing cute squeaky ones. Less cuddles, more worries and independence.
Somewhere along the way there was a last bedtime story. A last piggyback ride. A last trip to the playground. None of us knew those were the last and that is the cruel part about life's last times. They rarely announce themselves.
Here is what I have learned. Every ending quietly introduces a beginning.
July 8th ended a marriage. July 9th began a father learning how to build a home instead of simply living in a house.
It began the chalking of over three thousand Chalkboards. It began traditions that belong only to me and the Shepkids. It began discovering that consistency is stronger than circumstance. Nurturing and structure build a stronger bond. It forced me to become the man I needed to be and the father that George, Fritz and Hazel would know.
Today is National Sugar Cookie Day.
Maybe that is how life stays gold. Not by holding on to what was, but by passing it on.
Nothing gold can stay. That is true, but if we live well, every last time makes room for a first time.
…And perhaps the greatest first time of all comes on the last day we breathe, when we finally discover that every goodbye here was only preparing us for the first hello somewhere else.
Gusto and astonishment, you gorgeous Chalkheads.












