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Tuesday, September 8, 2026

September 8th, 2026

 

     Labor Day is over and with it, so are the ninety days we spend every year pretending summer might last forever.

      The coolers get emptied, and the beach chairs go back into the garage. Somewhere a swimming pool is being covered. The mums are replacing the tired flowers on the porch, and the baseball season begins handing the calendar over to football.

     There is one thing I still miss every Labor Day weekend. The Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon.

      If you are Generation X, you probably don't need much explanation. You can already see the television glowing in a dark living room. You can hear the phones ringing behind the celebrities. You can picture that giant tote board with the numbers climbing higher as Sunday night turned into Monday morning.

   For me, though, the Telethon was never really about Jerry Lewis. It was about my mommy.

     There was a stretch of Labor Day weekends when I would drag a blanket and a couple pillows into the living room and make myself a bed on the floor. My mom would get comfortable on the couch, make some popcorn, and the two of us would announce that this was finally going to be the year we stayed awake all night.

             I never made it.

   I was a chubby little kid. Ten-thirty was apparently my physical limit. Every once in a while I would wake up, half asleep, and see my mom still there on the couch. Sammy Davis Jr. might be singing or Jerry would be talking. Somebody would tell another story about a kid fighting muscular dystrophy.

          Then my eyes would close again.

    The next morning, before I asked what was for breakfast, I wanted to know one thing. “How much did they raise?”

            My mom knew because she always stayed up to watch.

    That may be one of the reasons the memory still gets me. The first Jerry Lewis MDA Labor Day weekend telethon aired in 1966. Jerry hosted through 2010. After that, the marathon was shortened and shortened again until the final national telethon disappeared in 2014.

        Think about that.

  For most of our childhood, it seemed permanent. Labor Day meant the Jerry Lewis Telethon the same way Thanksgiving meant the parade, New Year's meant Dick Clark and Christmas meant Charlie Brown.

      We never considered that these things had expiration dates.

   We assumed the people sitting on the couch will always be sitting there. We assumed the house would always smell the same. We assumed Mom will always know the total on the tote board in the morning.

      Then one day you are sixty years old, the telethon is gone, Jerry is gone, your mom is gone, and somehow you are the one sitting awake remembering all of them.

     Maybe that is what Labor Day really does. It doesn't just close summer. It reminds us every year that seasons close shop.

     Yesterday there were swimming pools, long evenings, baseball on the radio and sunlight hanging around until bedtime. Now the sun hits the street at a different angle. Soon the leaves will flash their brilliance and let go. The sweatshirts will come out. Chili goes on the stove, chuck roast in the crockpot. Sundays are devoted to the NFL.

      The “Ber” months have arrived. September. October. November. December. My favorite stretch of the year, but before I rush into mums, bonfires, football, Thanksgiving and Christmas, I want to turn around once and look back at summer.

      Or maybe farther than that. Back to a living-room floor in the 1970s. A blanket, a bowl of popcorn, a glowing television, a tote board climbing toward some impossible number.

      …And my mom on the couch, staying awake long after her little boy had fallen asleep.

    We thought the Telethon would always be there. We thought summer would always come back exactly the same. We thought our parents would always be waiting for us when we woke up.

             None of that turned out to be true.

   Which is probably why the memories matter so much.

         Labor Day has passed, Summer's tote board has stopped…

     And Tuesday morning, once again, and I’m already in, in a daydream.






Monday, September 7, 2026

September 7th, 2026

 

   I watched Matt Suhey play for the Bears from my freshman year in high school into my early twenties.

        Eventually, he became a colleague of mine on the trading floor.

    We had mutual friends and would occasionally run into each other. Funny how an eight-year age gap narrows with time.

    When I was fourteen, Suhey was the fullback blocking for my boyhood idol, Walter Payton. He wore number twenty-six for the Chicago Bears, and I watched him every Sunday. When I was thirty, he was one of the guys on the trading floor.

    Last month, I chalked that when Dolly Parton died, I felt like I had lost another little piece of my mom.

    I'm not exactly sure how I feel about number twenty-six moving up to heaven. I lost a member of my favorite football team from when I was a boy. The man who scored the Bears' first touchdown in Twenty. He is now the seventh player we have lost from that 1985 squad.

    I also lost a guy who wore a trading coat and shared the same arena I walked every day. Another Board of Trade alumnus who died too damn early.

   Matt Suhey was a fierce competitor on the football field and in the trading pit. He was also one of the nicest and funniest guys around. His personality fit perfectly with the cast of characters who inhabited the trading floor.

     Maybe that is why this one feels a little different. He belongs to two chapters of my life that I thought were separate, but it turns out they weren't.

        Life moves on.

   Football seasons come and go quickly. Opening bells ring, prices react, markets close, and before you know it, another year is gone.

    People come into our lives from a distance. Some eventually stand right beside us. Some are there for a moment or a month. Some appear for a couple of paragraphs. Others somehow find their way into several chapters.

            Then life moves on, and people leave.

   The Bears will pay tribute to their warrior. Penn State will honor one of their own, and somewhere among the remnants of the old Chicago Board of Trade, stories will be told about Suhey in a trading coat instead of a football uniform.

        Out of all of it, there is one thought that makes me smile. Walter Payton has his fullback back. Not just his blocker or his teammate, but his dear friend.

     The Bears moved from Wrigley Field to Soldier Field and may someday wind up in Alsip, Illinois, but eventually, Bear fans and Bear players all end up together in heaven.

  Unfortunately, like an ex-wife, Vince Lombardi and Packer fans are up there as well. What the hell does it matter anyway? Jesus is a Saints fan.

 

            Bear Down, Twenty-Six.





Sunday, September 6, 2026

September 6th, 2026

 

     You would think from the Sir Winston Churchill quote on today's Chalkboard that I must be going through hell.

        I am not.

    Unless taking a twenty-year-old and a seventeen-year-old to a matinee on a beautiful Sunday afternoon qualifies. We are going to see a movie the three of us have watched approximately 3,759 times over the years, “Cars.”

   It was released twenty years ago, which seems impossible because I remember when Lightning McQueen, Mater and Radiator Springs first became part of the Shepley household. We had the DVD, we watched it on television, we streamed it.

     We watched it in the morning. We watched it at night. We watched it enough times that there was a period of my life when I probably knew more about the Piston Cup standings than the American League Central.

          But the Shepley brothers have never seen it where a movie is supposed to be seen, on the big screen.

    So for its twentieth anniversary, that is exactly what we are doing and there is something pretty damn cool about that. The little boys who once sat on the couch watching Lightning McQueen are now twenty and seventeen, and their sixty-year-old father gets to sit between them in a movie theater and watch it all over again.

     Afterward, we are heading over to my mother-in-law's house for a Labor Day get together. Burgers, bratwursts, hot dogs, cold beer, a cigar, the Shepkids and my gorgeous ex-wife.

        Okay…

     Maybe Churchill was onto something with the going-through-hell business. At least I didn't wake up this morning with some goddamn hippie song stuck in my head, wondering where I belong in the universe.

         I know exactly where I belong today.

    In a dark movie theater with my boys watching a red race car learn that there are more important things in life than winning. Then in a backyard with people who have been part of my life since the new millennium began.

    Maybe that is enough philosophy for one weekend.

   Yesterday I needed a rugby scrum, and a Chicago hotdog stand to find my way home.

    Today I need Lightning McQueen, a bratwurst, and my ex-wife.

          Sunday Funday, Chalkheads, a day filled with gusto and astonishment.

 

                  Ka-chow.





September 5th, 2026

 
    I woke up this morning with Steve Winwood in my head. There are worse things, I could wake up with Muskrat Love playing in my noggin.
     Mine was “Can’t Find My Way Home,” written by Winwood and recorded by Blind Faith back in 1969. I hadn't heard it recently. It was simply there when I woke up.
              Somebody holds the key.
      Apparently somebody had been screwing around with the locks while I was sleeping. Because I had dreams all night that I could not quite remember, followed by this strange feeling when I woke up that I was somehow adrift.
    Which makes absolutely no sense.
I am sixty years old and living on the top floor of a three-flat in the Divorced Dad District. I have a roof over my head. I have a good job and a trading desk where I intend to finish my career. I have three kids I love. I have friends and family who care about me. I know where my coffee pot is. I know where my church is. I know where Comiskey Park is and I know several establishments within fifteen miles capable of producing a decent Italian beef or Gyros.
   By almost every reasonable definition, I know exactly where home is and yet this morning I couldn't find my way there.
      Maybe that is what happens at sixty. You stop wondering where you are going and start wondering where the hell you are right now.
     Not geographically, or spiritually or emotionally. Somewhere down inside where Google Maps is absolutely no fucking help.
    Maybe I'm looking for peace. Maybe I'm looking for a stronger connection to God. Maybe I need to spend more time listening and less time talking. Maybe I'm supposed to dig around inside myself and find some spiritual balance that I have neglected while spending forty years worrying about corn prices, utility bills, kids, politics, divorces, careers and whether the White Sox have enough bullpen arms.
    Maybe there is still one piece missing from the puzzle. The piece that makes you look at the whole picture and finally say: Oh. So THAT IS what all of this was about.
           I do not know and that is okay.
     Because I also don't believe I am supposed to spend Saturday sitting cross-legged on the living-room floor trying to locate my inner soul.
     My knees hurt and God knows where to find me.
          I am not wasting the day trying to solve myself and I'm certainly not waiting around to find my way home.
     I am going to a rugby match where there will be thirty enormous human beings beating the shit out of one another over an oddly shaped ball.
     There will be a scrum, a ruck, a maul, and there will be cold beer and camaraderie.
   .. And afterward, if God is willing, there will be a Chicago hot dog dragged through the garden with no mustard.
     Maybe that is the answer. Maybe peace isn't some magnificent moment when every piece of my life suddenly falls perfectly into place. Maybe sometimes peace is simply recognizing that I already have enough of the pieces.
       A safe place to sleep. Work that is not a job. Kids who worry me. People who give a damn whether I wake up tomorrow. I have Faith and a Saturday afternoon watching rugby and grabbing a hot dog.
       Steve Winwood can keep looking for his way home, I know where mine is.




Friday, September 4, 2026

September 4th, 2026

            Tom Petty was right. The waiting really is the hardest part.

  The older I get, the more I wonder how much of my life I have spent waiting for something that was already happening.

   Today is my cousin Chuck’s birthday. Chuck was the guy who got me my first job on the trading floor. I don’t see him much anymore. Since the trading floors closed, he has pretty much isolated himself.

   Maybe that is part of getting older, too. You start realizing that some of the things you once thought would last forever were actually passing right in front of you.

    Back then, we stood on those trading floors waiting for the opening bell, waiting for an order, waiting for a fill, waiting for lunch, waiting for the closing bell, waiting for Friday.

    We had no idea we were standing in the middle of something we would someday give just about anything to have back for an afternoon...

          Here I am this morning bitching about another 94-degree September day.

   I am tired of the heat and ready for fall. Give me a sweatshirt, some football weather and a little chill in the morning air, but I know how this works…

    A few months from now, when the wind is howling off Lake Michigan and the thermometer is struggling to find double digits, I’ll be waiting for a day exactly like this one.

     Maybe that is the trick Tom Petty didn't tell us. Sometimes the hardest part isn't the waiting. It is realizing that while we were waiting, this was it. Maybe we ought to spend a little more time recognizing what we have while we still have it.

         Because someday soon, today will be one of the good old days, too.





Thursday, September 3, 2026

September 3rd, 2026

 

    Friendship will take us under the goalpost… I wrote those words to an old friend last night.

    They aren't Shakespearean and they probably aren't grammatically correct, but he knew exactly what I meant. Just a typical JumboLove saying pulled from a big booty.

     At sixty, friendship looks a hell of a lot different than it did at twenty. Back then, friends were the guys you went drinking with, went to Sox games with, chased girls with, stayed out late with and occasionally helped make some very questionable decisions.

   We thought those were the important moments. Turns out, they weren't. The important moments came later.

      Divorces, parents dying, kids growing up, careers changing, friends getting sick, people we loved disappearing from our lives...

       …And that strange realization that there are more miles behind us than there are ahead of us.

     That is when you discover who your friends really are. They don't necessarily fix anything and sometimes they can't. They just stay in the huddle.

     They listen to the same story for the fifth time. They call when they haven't heard from you. They remember your Oldman. They know your kids' names. They can make you laugh when there isn't much worth laughing about and when you have taken about all the hits you can take, they put an arm around you and help move you a few more yards downfield.

     Maybe that's what I meant last night. Life is one hell of a long football game. None of us gets through four quarters without getting knocked on our ass a few times.

    When the clock finally starts winding down, I don't think it will matter much how many points we scored. It will matter who was still in the huddle.

      And maybe, if we're lucky...

                    …friendship will take us under the goalpost.





Wednesday, September 2, 2026

September 2nd, 2026

 

     At 11:30 last night, three Riverside police officers knocked on my door. They woke me up and asked about the well-being of my son. Someone George knew online had called the police because George threatened to take his life.

    I opened his bedroom door and found George was asleep. He startled awake when I walked in. He was fine and I was pissed.

    Because once you say something like that, people have to take you seriously. Tuesday night became Wednesday morning sitting in an emergency room while my autistic son was evaluated.

       The ER was filled with tired nurses, stressed doctors, people in pain, crying babies and frightened families…

                                … and there I sat, pissed off at George.

   All of this because he had been ghosted by an online friend. I’m just an old man, but I don't understand this shit.

    How did we go from being social together to being social misfits? We met friends at school, at church, at work, in the tavern or at the ballpark.

   Today, your best friend might be a made-up name in a chat room whom you have never actually met. I don't understand that crap, but I don't have to.

    I have to understand George. Autism already makes it difficult for him to express what he is feeling. Add a world where friendships begin and end through words on a screen and something that seems ridiculous to me doesn't feel ridiculous to him.

    I've lost friends. I've been dumped. Hell, my wife cheated on me. I never threatened to kill myself, but that is my measuring stick and not George's.

 

       …And somewhere during my long night/early morning, my anger ran headfirst into gratitude. Because today, September 2nd, is Look for Charlie's Star Day.


     Charlie was the son of a friend of mine. Charlie’s family doesn’t get the chance to see him every day. They only see him when they look up to heaven.

   His parents do not have the luxury of being pissed off at their son this morning. They can't open Charlie's bedroom door and find him sleeping. Charlie’s parents didn’t drive him home from the hospital, but I was able to drive George home.

   There are parents who have lost children to suicide, overdoses and car accidents who would give everything they own for one more stupid decision. One more argument. One more chance to be pissed off. 

    Instead of silently driving their child home from the hospital, they drove to a funeral home to make arrangements. I drove home with George.

              That is the lesson from last night.

     George told us he never intended to hurt himself. It was something stupid that he said during a painful moment, but somebody online didn't know that.

      Somebody cared enough to call, and three Riverside police showed up in the Divorced Dad District. Then the paramedics showed up. Then the ambulance ride to the hospital. Doctors and nurses evaluated him, and George didn't fall through the cracks.

     In a world where we spend so much time talking about everything that is broken, last night the system worked. Someone took a young man's words seriously and this morning he is back in his bed.

      My anger will go away. I'm heading to work on about ninety minutes of sleep, and I'll survive that too.

     Because I have something Charlie's family would give anything to have. I get to be pissed off at my son today.

     Sometime tonight you Chalkheads, look up. Find Charlie's Star and tell him that you love him.





Tuesday, September 1, 2026

September 1st, 2026

 

           We have reached the ’Ber months of 2026.

     It might be the meteorological start of autumn, but September is beginning with a Gold Bond alert.

      Why in the hell would I quote Scotty Fitz talking about the crispness of fall when it is going to be in the nineties today?

  The Grabber section has three important dates on our autumnal schedule.

      One is the day we dress up like ghosts and vampires. One is the day we remember the veterans who fought for the liberty and freedom we woke up with this morning. The last is the day we give thanks for everything we have and the opportunity to argue with relatives about politics and football while somebody asks who wants another piece of pie.

      So, reach into the sweater drawer and pull out the gusto and astonishment. The sweater can stay there for now.

              Powder up, Chalkheads. September has arrived.





August 31st, 2026

 

     There is something satisfying about finishing a month on a Monday. Mondays are supposed to be beginnings but today happens to be an ending.

    August gets one last day before we flip the calendar and September takes over. Summer has not officially finished, but we can see the finish line from here.

T.S. Eliot wrote, “To make an end is to make a beginning.”

     That is a clever way to look at today. We spend too much time waiting for the perfect moment to start something. The first of the month, Monday mornings, New Year's Day, and our birthday.

    Today gives us both. It is Monday, and it is the last day of the month.

Finish something.

         September arrives tomorrow morning.

We do not have to drag everything from August into September. Some things deserve to be carried forward, and some things are better left behind.

              ..And some things need to be finished.

       

     Give August a proper goodbye today because tomorrow morning we get thirty brand-new days.

       The Cubs and Sox having winning records at the end of August, W I N N I N G!





August 30th, 2026

 

       A rainy Sunday morning followed by a cloudy, humid afternoon.

    I am not sure it is perfect weather for toasting marshmallows, but today is Toasted Marshmallow Day, so we work with what we have.

      Recently, I chalked about being a latchkey kid like so many of us Gen Xers. I also chalked about how, when I was a little boy, whenever I tried something for the first time, I didn’t say I tried it. I said I invented it.

    Well, I remember the day I invented toasting marshmallows over the stove.

I was living in my first apartment in Oak Park. I bought a bag of jumbo marshmallows at the Jewels up the block and carried them back to my little apartment.

    When I moved out, my parents had used the occasion to clean out their kitchen drawers, so among my new possessions was an old roasting fork.

Perfect. I stuck a marshmallow on the end of it, turned up the gas burner and started roasting.

    I toasted about half a dozen, sat down in front of the television I had just bought at Polk Brothers, cracked open an Old Style, and watched the Sox game.

     It was pretty damn good. I was living the dream.

    The caramelized sugar and gooey softness of a toasted marshmallow went surprisingly well with the kraeusened-water-brewed pilsner.

             At least the first few did.

   After about a six-pack and a dozen marshmallows, I discovered something else I had not thought about when I moved into my first apartment.

          I needed Alka-Seltzer.

   I couldn't just walk over to my Oldman's medicine cabinet anymore and grab a couple. There are certain moments when you realize you are truly on your own.

           That was one of mine.

    So, enjoy the down day the weather has given us on this last Sunday of August 2026.

     August is leaving us hot and humid, dragging September through the door wearing the same damn clothes.

      Fortunately, my Oldman had the foresight to throw a bottle of Gold Bond into that box of kitchen appliances and assorted crap he gave me when I moved across town.

     I have had that magical powder in every bathroom cabinet I have owned since that first apartment many years ago.

       Some lessons from your Oldman take a while to appreciate. Others become apparent the first humid day of September.

      So, Gold Bond up this week, you gorgeous Chalkheads.

Keep your nooks and crannies dry and unchaffed.

         …And if you are going to invent toasted marshmallows over the stove, stop before the second six-pack.





 

August 29th, 2026

       “Summer’s lease hath all too short a date.” — William Shakespeare
   Billy Shakes sure as hell understood this one.
      Here we are on the last Saturday of August, and another summer is getting ready to get packed away and added to the history book.
           That got me thinking.
     There are only 24 summers between this one and the summer of 2050.
 Put it that way and 2050 doesn't sound as far away as it did five minutes ago.
   We tend to think of summers as an unlimited commodity. Another one will come around next year and bring another baseball season and another Fourth of July.
      But Shakespeare had it right. Summer's lease is short.
 That is why these final August weekends feel different. The sun sets a little earlier. The shadows get a little longer. Football starts creeping into the conversation. School is back in session, and Labor Day is sitting on the doorstep.
    Summer doesn't slam the screen door when it leaves, it quietly slips away.
   So do not spend this last Saturday of August worrying about September.
Sit outside, grill something and listen to the ballgame.
   Take the long way home this afternoon. Have dinner with somebody that you love and watch the sunset together.
   Because someday we will reach the summer of 2050 and we will probably wonder how in the hell those 24 summers went by so fast.
     Do not count the summers you have left, make the summers you have count.






Saturday, August 29, 2026

August 28th, 2026

 

      Friday is here, but the week isn't over yet. There are still a few hours left to finish.

   Walk into the weekend knowing you emptied the tank. August is nearly in the rearview mirror, and September is waiting around the corner with another clean page.

   We don't get to rewrite how the month started, but we sure as hell get a say in how it ends.

    Finish the week strong, enjoy the weekend and end August with gusto and astonishment...







August 27th, 2026

 

     Nine years ago, I bought a chalkboard because I was trying to make a new place feel like home. That was all it was going to be.

   My marriage had ended. The Shepkids were coming to Dad's new home, and I wanted something familiar waiting for them. Something that said this wasn't just some empty place where their Oldman happened to live. This was our place, too.

            So I hung up a chalkboard like the one back at their mother's house. 

    I started writing the date, the weather, schedules, and the sunrise and sunset times. Then came a quote. Maybe something funny or something worth thinking about. Just a few motivational words in chalk before the day got started.

    Eventually I took a picture and put it on Facebook and two dozen people liked it.

    Today marks the ninth anniversary of that first post and somewhere along the way, this family ritual became something considerably bigger. I have chalked 2,872 Morning Chalkboards since that first post.

   There is a Morning Chalkboard blog that gets close to 2,000 hits a day. There are people I have never met who read it with their morning coffee. Some come for the quote, some for the grabber section and some for whatever story I have decided needs telling that morning.

     The Chalkboard wasn't created with a business plan, a marketing strategy or an audience in mind. It was created by a divorced dad trying to make his children feel at home.

     Now we begin Year Ten and I want this one to be special.

I want to pull it all together and finish the decade strong. Make people laugh occasionally and think a little more. I want to help Chalkheads realize that astonishment, faith and gusto will always put a smile on the sun.

     When August 27, 2027 arrives, maybe I will have something I never imagined nine years ago… 

    A decade of Chalkboards. Ten years of mornings. Ten years of stories. Ten years of trying to find something worth writing before the rest of the world wakes up and maybe, finally, a book.

    Funny thing about chalk. It is supposed to be temporary, but somehow, this stuck.

     








Wednesday, August 26, 2026

August 26th, 2026

 
     Something occurred to me yesterday after hearing that Dolly Parton had died. I lost another little piece of my mom.
    My mom loved Dolly Parton. When I was a little boy, Dolly seemed to be everywhere. She was on our television, on the radio, on the movie screen and in my memories of Dolly was my mom.
   That is the funny thing about getting older. Television shows, songs, movies, famous people, restaurants, buildings… they all become little storage boxes for our memories.
   Then one of them disappears, and suddenly you are not only mourning what disappeared, you are remembering who was standing beside you when it was still here.
    Yesterday, for me, that was Mom and because I believe heaven works the way I pray it does, I had another thought that made me smile.
     Yesterday my Ma finally got to meet Dolly. I assume she told her how much she enjoyed her while some chubby little kid was running around the house getting into something he wasn't supposed to.
     That brought me back to Dolly's quote on today's Chalkboard:
                    “Find out who you are and do it on purpose.”
  Maybe finding out who we are is not a great revelation that arrives one morning. Maybe we find ourselves slowly. Through our parents, our children, our friends, our mentors. The people we love and the people we have lost.
   The people whose example quietly gets stuck inside us and then, eventually, we have to decide what we are going to do with all of it.
       Dolly knew who she was.
 She came from almost nothing, became one of the most famous women in the world, and somehow always remained Dolly. She also spent a good part of her life helping other people. Through literacy programs, disaster relief and causes that often had nothing to do with putting her name in bright lights.
     Most of us will never have Dolly Parton money. We don’t need it. What we have are opportunities.
      An opportunity to help people in our lives that are having a crisis without announcing to the world that we helped them. To make another person's stay on this planet just a little bit better. That is part of finding out who we are.
     Every day gives us another chance to answer the question. When my turn is over, I would like the answer to be pretty simple. He was a pretty decent character. He wasn't a jagoff. He noticed people. He gave a damn and once in a while, somebody's day was a little better because he happened to be there.
     So today, Chalkheads, find out who you are and then do it on purpose.
            
          …And somewhere up there
          Ma, if you did meet Dolly yesterday, tell her thanks for me and all you got to do is smile that smile…




Tuesday, August 25, 2026

August 25th, 2026

 Who in the hell decides what our potential is?

      Here is a question that starts showing up somewhere around sixty.

             Did I live up to my potential?

                   … And I have another question.

            Who the hell made the scale for living up to our potential??

   Who decides what our potential was supposed to look like in the first place?

       A bigger house? More money? The marriage that lasted? A corner office? Kids who never screwed up? A retirement account big enough that the financial planner kisses your ass when you see him?

      Because if that is the scoreboard, an awful lot of people are walking toward retirement convinced they somehow lost the game.

        Especially my generation, GenX.

   We were the kids who came home from school, let ourselves into the house, did our homework and made dinner for our single parent.

    We grew up having five television channels. We were worried the Soviets might blow us up before dinner. If you wanted to talk to somebody you had to call their house and risk getting their father on the phone.

     We watched factories close. We watched our neighborhoods change. We watched our parents work thirty years for the same company because there was supposed to be a pension waiting at the other end.

        Then some jagoff changed the playing field.

    Companies downsized, jobs moved overseas, and pensions disappeared. Technology showed up and told half the workforce that everything they had learned for twenty years was obsolete.

     Then came the dot-com crash, then September 11th, then years of war and terrorism. Then 2008 knocked some of us back to square one. Then smartphones arrived and everybody became available twenty-four hours a day. Then a pandemic shut down the goddamn planet.

      That is one tough road trip to take, and somewhere along the way we made decisions.

    Some were decent and some were fucking lousy.

    We married the wrong person or stayed too long at the dead-end job. Maybe we ended up quitting the right job. We bought the wrong stock, or we didn't buy the right stock. We didn't call somebody back. We didn't show up for lunch, or we didn't tell somebody we loved them.

    Wait until Monday.

      Wait until January.

         Wait until the kids got older.

             Wait until things settled down.

         … And suddenly we are sixty fucking years old and things don’t settle down.

    That is the part nobody explained to us when we were thirty. Time doesn't announce itself when it leaves. There isn’t a guy standing by my bathroom door saying, “Jumbo, just so you know, you are never going to get 1997 back.”

      Procrastination is probably responsible for more unrealized potential than failure ever was. Failure at least means you swung the bat. Procrastination leaves the bat sitting on your shoulder.

        I think we have been looking at potential all wrong. Potential isn't one destination. It is a thousand different trajectories.

    At twenty-five your potential might have been to become a writer at the Sun-Times. At forty it might have been saving a marriage. At fifty it might have been becoming a better person. At sixty it might be repairing a friendship, writing the book, helping your kids find their way, mentoring somebody younger or finally becoming comfortable with the guy staring back in the bathroom mirror.

     We get fewer chances as we get older. That is just the mathematics of time, but fewer isn't none. Maybe potential was never about becoming everything we planned on. Maybe it was about becoming something useful with whatever remained in front of us.

   There is still another conversation, another opportunity, another sunrise, another idea, and another wrong that can still be made right.

      Potential doesn't have a time clock.  There is no foreman punching your card at sixty-five. There is no closing bell that rings and announces that whatever you were going to become, you are wearing it. At sixty, potential changes from accumulation to contribution.

      As long as you are here, the trajectory can still change.

   Maybe not dramatically. Maybe just a few degrees, but anybody who has ever looked at a map knows that a few degrees over enough distance can take you someplace completely different.

      Someday, when people talk about us, they probably won't spend much time discussing whether we maximized our potential. They will remember what we did with it. Because in the end, our potential isn't just part of our story. It becomes part of our legacy.

  

          It is Tuesday morning and it never looked so good. 

             I’m already in, in a daydream…