April 29th, 2022

      I gotta “Hey, how youse doin’? Did youse forget anyting in your car dis mornin’?” From Tommy Nealon, the overnight security guard at Oakbrook Terrace Board of Trade.
       I have to appreciate the first person I saw today was a Sout’ side guy with a deep Chicagonese accent.
   

     If you go to mass and the priest is a Chicago guy…. Da Ouwer Fader is gorgeous in Chicagonese.
“Ouwer Fader whoose art in heavan, hollowood be die name, die kingdom com die will bee dun, on eart aaaaas it is in heaaaavan!”

       When I moved to Indianapolis the kids made fun of me. They called me a mobster.
       When I moved back home to Chicago I supposedly picked up a Hoosier accent. So I was called a hick.
                      Fortunately I GOT my Chicagonese accent back.
Enjoy the last of April. Come to Riverside tomorrow and rock out in the rain! 

April 28th, 2022

 The first day of May is Sunday and it seems like we are experiencing eight weeks of March.

I quoted Kermit the Frog today. I quoted a muppet because I need a bowl of Captain Crunch and my parents to yell at me to clean my room.

I left my phone in the Blazer and was pissed I had to walk back and get it.

I mean if that’s the worst thing that happens to me today…. Well, it’s going to be a good day.

When I walked back into the building the security guard asked me if I forgot something.

I feel safe this guy is protecting the lobby.

Brilliant intuition!

Five minutes after I said “good morning buddy” I’m walking by him again.

What would Kermit Do?

So in my best Kermit the Frog voice I said, “I forgot my fucking cell phone in my car and I’m expecting an important phone call from Fozzy the Bear!”

Sometimes you just got to slow down and enjoy a Dr Pepper and a Diablo sandwich. Why do we always have to be in a god-damn hurry?

April 27th, 2022

 It’s Wednesday, it’s cold, construction cones are littering the road to work and my baseball team has lost eight in a row.

Today’s quote comes from Robert Fitzgerald Diggs.

Natural intentions?

Never lose your curiosity for life!

I’m curious to see how my children will be as adults.

I’m curious to see how long this electric car fad is going to last.

I’m curious to see if the world really runs out of food in twenty seven years.

I’m curious to see if the Bears really do move to Arlington Park.

I’m curious to see if I can outlive Keith Richard’s.

I’m curious to see a remake of “The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan’s Island.”

Today my Aunt Barb and Uncle Chris celebrate 48 years of marriage. Forty eight years of being curious together.

They got married just before President Richard Nixon resigned. Their marriage has been the most consistent part of my life.

Happy Anniversary Barb and Chris…

This weekend is Riverside Rocks. A charity event that brings a dozen Dad/Garage bands to Riverside. All the money goes to Saint Jude.

Come listen to live music and support a great cause.

https://www.riversiderocksforcharity.com/...

April 26th, 2022

 I use to be scared shitless of the Devil. As I’ve gotten older and for the most part a decent person… the devil is just another asshole.

The Devil is a predator. He goes after the vulnerable and the weak.

I’m not scared of the devil anymore… he’s a has-been.

I’m not scared of the devil anymore, but a raccoon scared the crap out of me this morning.

Degenerate little jagoff.

I’m not scared of the devil anymore, but I’ll never have the courage like the man who I quote today.

He spent 27 years in a prison for being dark skinned. His patience and determination held strong and he became the President of his country.

From here on out we shall all conquer our fears…. Together

Today is Audubon Day… go look at the birds. Just don’t get shit on!

April 25th, 2022

 I have gotten real comfortable going to 9:30 Mass in my living room. You don’t have to wear slacks and hard shoes at “Our Lady of The Couch Cushions” and nobody shoots you a stink eye when you reply, “and also with you!”

Yesterday I had everyone fed and quiet for the WGN mass from “Mercy Home for Boys and Girls.”

Hazel was laying next to me on the couch…. I mean sitting in the pew next to the television.

Fritz was finishing his pancakes at the dining room table and George was in his room hacking into Stanford.

The lady started the first reading and suddenly Fritz and George want to talk about some computer game they have been playing.

I missed the first reading… I couldn’t hear the second reading and now Father Malave is getting ready for the Gospel.

“You two clowns! Shut your mouths and sit down!”

All three Shepkids are now attending mass on the couch cushions and listening to the Gospel reading.

This is the story that Doubting Thomas doesn’t believe Jesus has returned. Jesus appears and tells Thomas to stick his fingers through the holes left in his hands from the nails that held him to the cross. Then the hole in his side left by a Roman sword.

“Dad? How did….”

“Jesus had holes in his hands?”

“Dad, Jesus can walk through locked doors?”

“Be Quiet and Listen to the Homily!”

I got the stink eye from the boys and Hazel rolled her eyes! I think I actually told them to listen to the F’ing Homily…

Father Jason talked about how we are God’s children and Jesus is our brother.

“Dad, is Jesus English or German?”

“Is Jesus your brother and our Uncle or….?”

“QUIET!!!!”

Father started talking about the Holy Spirit and now I’m ready to get peppered with ghost questions.

The Shepkids are learning that we received seven gifts from the Holy Spirit.

Wisdom, knowledge, counsel, fortitude, understanding, piety and FEAR OF THE LORD!

The last one is basically Catholic guilt passed along from our Jewish stepbrothers…. The famous Old Testament Jewish guilt.

The homily ended and so have all the questions. Fritz went to put his dishes away and disappeared into his room. Hazel went potty and George left to continue hacking into higher education.

I’m left alone to celebrate the Eucharist with the WGN community.

I don’t think I’ll ever go to mass in a church again. I like my parish and the dress code. I like having a cup of coffee with my Lamb of God.

Covid has shown me the bartender at my house is a talented mixologist. The drinks are cheap.

Covid has shown me that I make a pizza just as good as any pizza joint in the neighborhood and I don’t have to wait 90 minutes for delivery.

Covid has also shown me that Jesus doesn’t care if I go to mass at Saint Cletus or if I stay home.

Just shut up and listen to the Gospel reading and the Homily!!!

April 24th, 2022

 Yesterday was a perfect day to wash the windows. I have three windows in my bedroom. They face the southeast corner.

As I was cleaning screens in the tub and washing the three windows, Hazel was laying on my bed reading. I could feel her eyes occasionally look over the top of her book.

After twenty minutes to a half hour I had clean screens and clear window panes.

A thirty minute chore just gave me six months of gazing until I do them on the last warm Saturday in October.

“You know what Hazel? My view might be of an alley and other peoples yards, but if I look beyond the utility poles and garages I see beauty.”

She put her book down and walked over to gaze out the clean windows.

“I can see the sunrise in the morning. I can see that church steeple and I can see the Riverside water tower.”

Hazel learned that if you keep your corner of the world clean the beauty will shine over the mundane.

After a couple weeks of baseball the Chicago teams stand where I stand right now. Just below .500 having an average spring with not much to cheer for just yet.

Never give up hope in April. Always hope for an autumn like we had in 2005 and 2016.

April 23rd, 2022

 Today’s quote sets the bar high. I try to put quotes that have value on the chalkboard when the kids are around and can see it.

As an adult I am more cynical and see the quote as unachievable.

I don’t have time to spout off Jumbolosophy this morning. Fritz is up early and it’s time to make the pancakes…

Happy Saint George Day… Happy Vagina Appreciation Day and happy windy eighty degree day!

April is quickly fleeting…. Enjoy it before Chicagoland gets deeper into construction season!

April 22nd, 2022

    Yesterday I received a text message from the mother of my children. She told me that I must email her both of my parent's death certificates. If I don't do it by the end of the day she will call the authorities and I will never see my children again. 

    This was the girl who awkwardly held me in her arms just after my mom passed away. She was standing there moments after Cecilia Shepley left for heaven. She has been telling the Shepkids that she has seen both my parents recently. 

      Somehow she saw my mom at a Denny's somewhere west of Mannheim Road earlier this week and my dad was at an Irish bar in Countryside, Illinois in early March. 

       Now I've been praying to my parents to keep an eye on Terri and protect their grandchildren. So if Terri has seen Don and Ceil it's probably because they are Guardian Angels from heaven and that is a blessing

  Unfortunately my ex wife doesn't have Faith so this is probably another sign of mental illness.

   MENTAL ILLNESS.... it's a mother fucker when it hits close to home. 

       I told my oldest son the same thing my father told me forty years ago. "Son... your mother was sad way before we met her. We didn't cause it."

      My mom suffered from alcoholism and depression. The woman that I married suffers from the same, but what I am worried about now is my daughter. I don't want her to suffer from the same illnesses. 

      Terri doesn't need any prayers and thoughts. She needs to get herself help, but she doesn't trust me and she has cut off her parents. As much as I hate this woman I need to help her so my children have a healthy mother. 

     If you know Terri please reach out to her and offer her help. She feels alone and has no support. The walls are crashing down on her and she is fighting between reality and delusion. 

   Now you know why the Shepkids have been in Riverside every weekend this Spring. Their mommy is having a bad time and she needs to get better. Riverside is their safe haven just like Oak Park was forty years ago for me.

 Those of us that build a FOUNDATION on FAITH, FAMILY and FRIENDS will survive the dark days. Mental Illness has a way of chipping away at these three F's... we are all in this life together for a short period of time. It is in the dark times that we need to rely on Straight F's.............

   

April 21st, 2022

 Today's quote is from a novel that I hold dear. It's about a green light across the bay that can't be reached.

"Tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther. . . And then one fine morning— So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”

Everything we do instantly turns into our past, and this past cannot be done over. Don't shoulder the burden of days gone by.

It's great to be optimistic about the future, but unfortunately we won't run faster tomorrow.

The best thing we can do for ourselves is come to grips that we are from West Egg and East Egg is full of broken promises and littered dreams.

I would have enjoyed that last wiffle ball game when I was a kid if I knew it was going to be the last time I played wiffle ball with the guys in the neighborhood.

There is always a last time in life and that is just as important as lost time in life.... I need to quit crying about lost time and be prepared for the last time.

April 20th, 2022

 Everyone was drinking beer and eating chicken wings on Sunday January 6th, 2019. It was the Bears “Double Doink” playoff game against the Eagles.

I wasn’t eating wings or pounding beers that day. I was preparing for my colonoscopy on Monday morning.

I ran for more yards between the crapper and my couch than the Bears ran on the field. Though they only had sixty five total rushing yards that day.

Al Michaels was calling the game on NBC and while we all know him for his famous “Miracle on Ice” call. I know him for “Shepley is tight cheeking it AGAIN to the toilet. That’s the seventh time during the second quarter.”

I will always associate the “Double Doink” game as the Colonoscopy game.

The next morning my Cousin Anne came and picked me up to take me to the hospital to get my colon checked out.

Since my “in case of an emergency” contact is George and he doesn’t have a drivers license, Cousin Anne took the day off and brought her big cousin to West Suburban Hospital.

On April 20, 1977 my Uncle called and told me my new cousin was a healthy baby girl. I was devastated!

“A GIRL?”

“I can’t go camping and fishing with a girl!”

I was right! I never went camping or fishing with Anne, but forty years later she was there for me when I needed her the most. When I needed family, she was there. Just

like her mom was always there for my mom.

On Easter Sunday she asked me when the next colonoscopy is scheduled. Hopefully I don’t schedule it the day after a Bears playoff game. The Monsters of the Midway rarely play in the post season.

The smallest deed meant the most to me. It was the day my baby cousin held my hand when I needed someone to hold my hand… actions speak the loudest.

Happy Birthday Anne!

April 19th, 2022

 Did I make the right decision?

I gotta think about how many decisions I have to make during a normal day.

How many times during the day do I doubt myself?

The road of life is long and difficult, but if you build faith in yourself you will have less doubt along the path.

I vacuumed my carpets yesterday after work. This weekend I’m going to wash my windows. The carpet is clean and the windows will sparkle, but that doesn’t mean I won’t need to do it again.

The carpet will be dusty in a few weeks and the windows will be dirty in a month or so. I’ll need To do it all over again… and again!

It’s these little things we must do often in life that keep us in order.

When I take the responsibility to keep my life In order, I build a stronger faith in myself and that takes away doubt.

I don’t know when the hell I started figuring this out… maybe when I was getting sick of doubting myself.

Doubt and regret are

Our biggest foes…. Fuck ‘em!

Faith defeats regret and justify our doubt!

Make your bed, make a pot of coffee, squeeze a couple oranges into juice and take your vitamins.

The rest of the day will be a piece of cake….

… if you miss someone who is dear to you, give them a call. They might be doubtful today and you might give them some faith.

April 18th, 2022

 I drove to work this morning thinking it was the day after Thanksgiving not the day after Easter.

Easter Sunday started with making breakfast for the Shepkids and ending having dinner with the person that has known me the longest… My Aunt Barb…..

I opted out of a debate with a buddy yesterday. Is it “He has Risen” or “He is Risen.”

Whatever you go with…. Lent is over and we all get a Rebirth, a fresh start.

It might be snowing today, but Saturday looks to be close to eighty degrees in Chicagoland!

Use sunscreen and be patient. Don’t start your flower pots just yet.

April 17th, 2022

 Life has a way of dropping things into our laps.

Sometimes we are lucky when good things happen, but so many times we are forced to deal with a Shitshow.

My parents often told me my biggest enemy in life will be John Shepley.

They were right for the most part, but it’s the other events that I didn’t cause that are sometimes harder to accept.

The biggest example that comes to mind is this Covid era that we’ve had to deal with for over two years.

How did we deal with it? We know how society dealt with it… financially and emotionally, but how did we personally deal with it?

Something as large as Covid that halted the world or something smaller that happens to you…

For example…..

It’s starting to rain and you are walking to work without an umbrella.

You didn’t plan for it to rain, but now it’s your problem.

If you have your shit together you’ll lower your head into the raindrops and forge ahead… going on with the rest of your day.

If you don’t have your shit together, well…. You’ll let it ruin the rest of your day.

We’ve all been guilty of both reactions to a sudden rainstorm, but if your parents did their job, if you listened to the nuns and if you were paying attention to Coach….

You’ve got

Your Shit Together!

The decisions of my employer, the actions of my ex wife, the construction on the highway, the dumbass who doesn’t use a turn signal…. Usually not my responsibility, but it can turn out to be my problem….

Like my Oldman told me when I became sexually active…

“Son, you get more by accident than you do on purpose. Make sure you’re wearing clean underwear!”

I guess it all comes down to having clean underwear on!

April 16th, 2022

 My mom dragged me down to Indianapolis when I was twelve. I didn’t want to be there from day one.

Everything was white bread smeared with butter and mayonnaise. No rye bread, no mustard, no hope and no Don Shepley.

I loved my mom, but there was no stability. I realized years later she was an unhappy woman. She blamed others for her problems and she loved using the Catholic guilt. She too had a drinking problem which made things worse.

My oldest son is sleeping in his room on a weekend that I don’t have visitation. He’s doing what I wanted to do forty years ago… Be with my Dad!

George is going through the same crap that I did, but he doesn’t have 178 miles of I-65 in the way.

I’ll give George credit. Somehow he sweet talked his bus driver to drop him off at my house after school on Thursday.

I will go out on a limb here.

Someday George will look back at Easter weekend of 2022 with great memories.

He gets to go one on one with JumboLove.

He started his day meeting the hot waitress at the local diner.

He got to drive into Chicago and practice his grid system.

He made me proud at the breakfast table, at the cigar shop and at the tavern for lunch.

We went up and said hello to his Godmother in Elmwood Park..

And here is where he floored me!

When we left Aunty Amy’s he asked me,

“Dad? Did you ever love Mom? Did you love Aunty Amy?”

Here was the biggest lesson George learned on Good Friday.

“George, I fell in love with both of them. I still love both of them, but I don’t like your mom… YOU CAN LOVE SOMEONE and NOT LIKE THEM…The difference between these two woman is one of them loved me back and the other didn’t. One of them held my hand and the other couldn’t.

Son… Love can only come from people that know how to love. My job is to love you unconditionally and you learn how to pass it along...”

The rest of the ride was quiet back down to Riverside.

I’m not sure George had a fucking clue what I was talking about, but he did see me parallel park on VanBuren and he had the love of his dad next to him all day. Someday I’ll tell him he probably cock blocked me this weekend.

Until then,

Still I’ll rise until the day I don’t….

April 15th, 2022

 My oldman dragged me out to a farm in Iowa when I was six or seven.

They were tearing down the old barn and my dad wanted wood from this particular stable. We grabbed a pick up truck from one of his train yards and off we went.

My dad was from Iowa and was a devout Catholic. He liked to call himself a Judeo-Christian.

My dad was also in the first ordained Permanent Diaconate class in the Chicago Archdiocese.

We went to get this wood to make a cross for The Easter Triduum. When we got home my dad went right to work.

The pieces of wood were massive and rough. I could barely pick them up. When it was finally set together it was over seven feet tall.

Big Don then carefully measured lines and drew 500 little circles on his cross. All perfectly aligned in rows of seven with three holes left on the top. The Trinity….

He took his drill and made 500 holes deep enough to slip a nail in easily.

500 holes for 500 parishioners to place a nail in the cross.

He had a peach basket that he brought home from Iowa filled with large nails.

My dad carried the cross on Good Friday and laid it next to the altar. He turned around and told everyone to come up and grab a nail and place it in the cross.

I was only a kid, but I could see how powerful this was for everyone in the church.

My dad told me years later he was worried about the reaction from the old school Pastor, but afterwards the old school Pastor was ecstatic. Whenever my dad told this story I could see his joy.

Every Holy Week I think about that trip to Iowa and the cross my dad and I built for our parish. I think about the symbolism and the experience my dad gave those people.

“Place a nail in the Cross!”

May my Jewish friends experience a loving and Holy Passover tonight.

To my Christian brothers and sisters… remove the nail OUT of the cross that you carry and take comfort in the mystery of Our Faith.

April 14th, 2022

 “Once upon a time in a city by a lake a handsome baby boy was born. It was a hot summer day…..”

….maybe our lives are a fairy tale? This would be the line that starts my personal yarn.

All of our fairy tales overlap each other. Because if I’m living a fairy tale you should have one of your own as well.

Since I’m writing my own story I will be a bad ass mother fucker.

Everyone loves me, everything I touch turns to gold and everyday I bring peace and happiness to all.

Okay, okay, okay…… that’s not happening.

I always like to fall back on the best description I’ve ever heard about life.

Billy Shakes words from MacBeth….

“Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,

To the last syllable of recorded time;

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,

And then is heard no more. It is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing.”

The days pass by quickly. One after the other, day after day most of them tedious and stressful until finally they are no longer.

Every single day of our life was someone else’s last day and the day will finally come when we no longer cast a shadow.

When I get to the last line of my fairy tale I don’t want it told by an idiot. I don’t want a story that doesn’t have passion or is meaningless. I don’t want to leave a villainous legacy.

I want to be a father of three happy and healthy offspring's.

I want to see the bright moon hang over the early morning sky.

I want to hear lions roaring and birds singing.

Oh wait….. I am that guy.

I’m not bullshitting you either…. I heard lions roaring this morning.

I live next to a zoo.

April 13th, 2022

         “Attention, May I have your attention please. Due to mechanical issues trading will end in thirty minutes. I repeat all trading floors are closing and trading will be halted.”

It was a cloudy cold Monday. It wasn’t noon yet and suddenly I have a free afternoon.

So what does a twenty five year old guy do? Well this twenty five year old walked down to Ceres for a Bloody Mary.

“Just one Jumbo! We have to close due to some sewer problems.”

It’s 1992 and we weren’t walking around with smart phones. We couldn’t text each other. As far as I knew there was a sewer issue in the Loop.

I walked over to my dads office building on the other side of the Loop to see if he wanted to go to lunch.

He was already gone. The receptionist said the office sent everyone home due to the flooding.

"Flooding?"

I got over to Adams and the lights were on at The Berghoff. So I went in and stood at the half empty bar.

The bartender was standing there dumbfounded and the server at the carving station wasn’t fully set up yet.

“Jumbo! No trading today”

Yeah, the bartenders at the Berghoff knew me… they knew me at The Wabash Inn, Miller’s Pub and Exchequer’s Pub as well.

Fortunately for me The Berghoff wasn’t closing. This was the bar that was issued the first Chicago liquor license after prohibition! They weren’t going to let a backed up sewer shut them down.

Six beers, a bratwurst, a couple shots of Berghoff Bourbon and a corned beef on rye to go…

…I’m walking across the Loop to catch the Congress el to Oak Park, but since it is a subway downtown I had to walk over to the Lake Street el.

I found a payphone and checked the messages on my answering machine.

"Hey! We are going to have a snow day! Get your ass over to Doc Ryan's!"

So I went straight to Doc Ryans. Half a dozen of the Oak Park Board of Trade guys were sitting there watching WGN.

It was made official around 6:30 that the trading floors will be closed on Tuesday.

We worked two hours on Wednesday, an abbreviated session on Thursday and finally on Friday we worked a full day.

We didn't have a dress code because there wasn't any air. There were generators everywhere and temporary lights strung all around the building. It was a historical week in Chicago Board of Trade folklore. Things didn't get back to normal well into May.

Nine years later would be the next time the trading floor would be closed due to a disaster. That was when terrorists flew hijacked jets into several buildings on the east coast.

Thirty years ago! That went by quickly... God I miss that trading floor, I miss the Berghoff before they mucked it up and Doc Ryan's when it was on the east end of The Street of Dreams.

April 12th, 2022

 It was confirmed that today was Tuesday when a second David Bowie song started to play on the drive to work.

I got that tingly feeling through my shoulders like I do when my parents are around or when I kiss someone for the first time.

It only got better when Van Halen followed up Ziggy Stardust.

Ain’t talking ‘bout love today even though the first word in the quote is Love.

Today’s quote comes from a 1963 novel by a gay black man. A man not talking about the gooey state of infatuation and happiness, but as he put it a tough sense of quest, daring and growth.

Love is a battle, Love is a war, Love is growing up. The journey we take is our journey. It is what we make and take along the path.

We get to choose who we can love, but to get there we need to stand alone and embrace the unknown.

Love it or leave it!

Love could be used as a crutch or used by mistake…

…love is driving to work on 31st and hearing David Bowie and David Lee Roth.

Today is opening day… it’s going to be a gorgeous day and I work in OakBrook!?!?!?

I took it for granted that I once could jump on the el after the market close and go to the park.

I’d be miserable anyway….

….I can’t go to a game and not have a Polish and a beer!

Let’s GO GO White Sox!

April 11th, 2022

 Van Gogh gets credit for today’s quote. He was a guy that had more than a string of failures in his life. He became famous only after his death.

Probably a good thing. Being famous leads to losing anonymity which then leads to living with the paparazzi… you saw where that got Princess Di and most recently Will Smith.

I woke up at 1:17am Monday morning and can’t fall back asleep.

Failures… or like we call them on the Westside, Fuck ups have littered my time living in this Talking Heads song.

The common denominator to all those fuck ups is my presence. I was there for all of them.

Does that

Make me a Fuck Up?

Depends on who you ask!

Former colleagues that wish they still worked on a trading floor from the 1990’s?

A former First Lady of Camelot who built me a new asshole in front of our kids yesterday when I dropped them off?

Those two audiences might look at me as a fuck up…

Most of us have former colleagues and unfortunately former spouses that had front row seats to our lives. Former spouses still have balcony seats.

The thing is they remember the bad scenes and not the good ones.

So that makes them bad… that makes them unimportant to our daily grind. The daily grind that remains for the rest of our Naïve Melody.

All that matters …. All that matters… all that matters is … all that matters… all…. That …. Matters is not letting the needle skip on your record.

The colleagues that I will see in a few hours. The Shepkids that I nurtured over the weekend and the clerk at White Hen are what’s important.

If I keep their trust. If I keep their love. If I leave their lives with a good taste….. then the occasional fuck ups will still lead to success.

It’s National Cheese Fondue Day. I haven’t been a big fondue guy since I burned my areolas on a weird date in the 90’s.

That date was a failure, but it was a good learning experience.

April 10th, 2022

 At five o’clock this morning I received a back rub and a little voice said to me, “do you know I’ve been up since four o’clock dad?”

So today’s Chalkboard will be short because I’m answering questions about the first tooth that I lost and important stuff Hazel wants to know.

Hazel also wanted to write today’s joke…. “Someone got hit in the head with a drink…. He was lucky it was a soft drink!”

That’s the Hazel Shepley Joke of the Day.

Time to show Hazel how to make coffee….

…. Enjoy a beautiful Sunday everyone!

April 9th, 2022

 I’m not one of those 24/7 news jamokes.

I still like to go to the newsstand and grab the papers. The smell of print along with holding a paper doesn’t exist much any longer.

I read the paper and I watch the half hour local news and the half hour network news.

The network news is on for thirty minutes. Take out the eight minutes of pharmaceutical commercials and you’re left with twenty two minutes of news.

Twenty one minutes that captures the shitshow of a world. Then that last minute is saved for the “Feel Good Story.”

ABC, CBS and NBC give you all the bad news around us, but then they hang you out with a last minute act of kindness.

Just take a minute to think how much worse the world would be if we didn’t have that one act of kindness to get us through?

My oldman was a kind person. He treated the night clerk at White Hen like he was the President of The Chicago and Northwestern Railroad.

BUTT….

…. If you didn’t use your directional when making a turn…

…he would call you a Cock Sucker for the world to hear.

So my dad was the complete opposite of Tom Brokaw and Dan Rathers.

He was kind and promoted love for twenty nine minutes, but that last minute he would build you a new asshole if you didn’t hold his standards…

It’s tough to be kind… I’m sure Mother Therese had moments where she could be a bitch!

Anyway…… Go buy yourself a COFFEE CAKE today and drop off a COFFEE CAKE with someone dear to you…..