March 31st, 2022

 I’m in the habit of saying the “Our Father” and a “Hail Mary” before I get out of bed in the morning.

Then I spend a couple minutes talking to my parents.

I ask my Ma to watch over you and the Shepkids and then I ask my dad for guidance and advice.

My prayers and conversation always ends with my Oldman saying…

…..”Son, don’t get your tits caught in a wringer today!”

Life is difficult… that is putting it lightly. Opportunity has a lot to do with luck sprinkled with quick decision making and more luck.

I always use the term “Silver Lining” when I’m writing to you…

Opportunities…

Should I stick with curtain number one?

Should I take the money?

What is behind curtain number two?

What ever decision you make….find the silver lining!

I had huge red flags four weeks into a relationship, but I ignored them.

Silver lining…. Shepkids!

I had a job opportunity in New Orleans that I didn’t take.

Silver Lining…. I missed Katrina and worked on the trading floor for five decades.

I took a picture of the blackboard hanging in my kitchen in August of 2017.

Silver lining…. A blog about a divorced dad and a daily therapeutic tool.

The point Einstein was making in this quote is…

…when you are in the middle of a shitshow…. Reach for the toilet paper!

The Democrats want to nominate their next presidential candidate in Chicago?

That’s gonna be a shitshow!

March 30th, 2022

 Courage and fear are considered opposites, but they are actually related.

Fear is conquered by courage. Bravery is created through terror.

When I was a kid I was scared of The Devil, Hippies and Lee Harvey Oswald.

My Faith grew stronger and the Devil doesn’t bother me anymore. Ronald Reagan came along and squashed hippies and commies. Jack Ruby rubbed out Oswald.

I still quiver when I smell patchouli oil…

When I was a little older I was scared of the Immaculate Heart of Mary and the Christ The King girls…

…until one of them dragged me onto a dance floor in 1980. “Babe” by Styx will always be our song.

As an adult all my fears center around my children.

Are they happy?

Are they healthy?

Are they learning how to make friends?

I fear that one of these mornings I’ll get a call from Laurie Dann or Marilyn Lemak.

Every other Sunday around 5:30pm it takes a lot of courage to leave the Shepkids west of Mannheim Road.

One of the silver linings having my parents in heaven is knowing that they are watching George, Fritz and Hazel when I can’t.

It’s going to be a windy warm and moist Wednesday.

Two weeks and the smell of grilled onions on a hot dog and the cheer of the crowd will fill the Bridgeport air.

Happy birthday Beth Lewis Brucks and Amy Weaver!

March 29th, 2022

    My Uncle Chris and Aunt Barb gave me two books on my 13th birthday, “Boys and Sex” and “To Kill a Mockingbird.”

I burned through the first book quickly in July of 1979. It was under my pillow and on my nightstand.

The second book laid on a book shelf well into the Winter. Then I got suspended from school and if I wanted to watch the 1980 Winter Olympics I had to read the Harper Lee novel.

So I did what my mom enforced and watched Eric Heiden win five gold medals. I saw the USA hockey team beat the Soviets and I read about Atticus Finch.

Today’s quote is from “Mockingbird.”

As we get older and cynical we tend to loose the innocence that Scout Finch possessed.

My parents raised me to treat people with respect. My Oldman would say, “Color Blind is Bullshit Son…You must be Color Strong!”

His point was nobody is strong enough to NOT see Color or stereotypes.

One time my dad yelled at me out of nowhere.

“Do you know Walter Payton is a black guy? If he wasn’t wearing a Bears uniform you wouldn’t care who he was!”

I was a nineteen year old know it all who took Philosophy 101 and felt ready to debate Don Shepley.

“Well Dad…. There was a white man in a Cub hat and a black man in a Sox hat standing in front of me. God asked me to pick one to save… “that’s easy Poppa God, Save the Sox fan and take the Cub fan!”"

My father had that half ass grin on his face and told me he failed. A true Christian would have told Poppa God to take me and save both the Northsider and the Southsider.

“Easy for you to say Dad! You’re a Saint Louis Browns fan!”

The point I’m trying to get to this morning….

Two millionaires ruined the 2022 Oscars Sunday night. They were both black. They were both famous. They both live in a different world than we do.

If I slapped a guy at work I’d be fired. I would be looking for a lawyer this morning.

I hope my kids read “To Kill a Mockingbird” someday. Someday before it gets banned.

They also should watch Archie Bunker, George Jefferson and Benny Hill.

Instead of worrying about Chris Rock and Will Smith they need to learn about Richard Pryor and Sidney Poitier.

They need to take the black guy in the Sox hat out for a beer and make fun of the white guy in the Cubs hat.

Today is Vietnam Veteran Day… if you know one… say thank you!

March 27th, 2022

Colonel Nathan R. Jessup screaming, “You can’t handle the truth!” Brings reality into the light.

The world is harsh and the sooner you realize it the stronger you become.

Opportunities occur if you work for them. They don’t come from magical Unicorns and lollipop bushes.

I came home on my first day at the Board of Trade and I hung my trading jacket proudly on the coat rack in our foyer.

When my Oldman got home from work later that evening he grabbed it and looked at it carefully.

He studied it…. He held it up to the hall light… he counted the pockets… he laughed at the picture on the badge…. And He said, “What the hell is this?”

My Dad knew it was a trading jacket, but he was busting my balls and dramatically preparing to lay out some wisdom.

“Son…. Don’t ever think you are some whiz kid financial guy! You are a blue collar worker. Everyone on that trading floor is a blue collar worker. Don’t you ever forget this! The people that call that trading floor are the ones running the show….The Board of Trade is the Union Stockyard without the smell of carcass!”

Over thirty years later and I’m still a blue collar worker that has had a career in one industry.

I’m a Journeyman because my father made sure I knew the difference between a paycheck and a lollipop bush!

Accept reality, learn from your mistakes and treat people nice and you’ll never need a magical Unicorn to save you!

We are starting the last week of March. This week brings the end of the first quarter of 2022. I’m a third of the way into “Sixty Days of Celebrating Cecilia” already.

I hope April brings Peace, Love and Smiles!

March 26th, 2022

 Today’s quote probably makes you think of someone that is no longer living…

…. Not where I’m going this morning.

I saw a meme recently that said, “don’t wish there was a phone to heaven because you rarely called me when I was alive.”

People that are dead… I see them all the time!

I’ll be sitting on the crapper and suddenly my dad wants to talk about steam locomotives we chased in 1979.

“Fuck sake Dad! I’m taking a crap! Don’t you have better things to do right now in heaven! Get Uncle Charlie and catch Louis Armstrong playing!”

When waking up in the morning is the second hardest thing… there’s my mom at the end of the bed telling me to take a cold shower.

“Come on Mom! Remember when you were worried that I was humping everything when I was twelve? I’m still humping stuff Ma! Go make Jesus some zucchini bread!”

Today’s quote is more about the cousin on the Southside or the cousin on the Westside that I don’t see very often.

It’s the Aunt or old friend in Indianapolis that I don’t drive down I-65 to visit…

It’s an old co worker up in Lake County or even an old friend in Lagrange.

As life grows closer to its last day we fall out of touch with the people that got us to where we are.

It’s a two way phone call… maybe it’s time to get to know the people that you once knew?

Cold windy weekend in Chicagoland! Springtime in the city by the lake!

Go feel it on your face! Go spend it with someone you haven’t seen since 1997, but miss dearly!

March 25th, 2022

 I’d love to buy the winning lottery ticket or find Ali Baba’s magic lamp, but I gotta get up and go to work.

Real quick….. let’s have a Donald Shepley grammar lesson. Today’s quote has the word “effect” in it. Before Siri and spelling check made life easier… we had to look things up or there would be a red ink slash on your homework.

Effect or affect was always associated with a red ink slash until my dad finally set me straight.

“Son, affect is a fucking action and effect is a fucking result!”

I never had a red slash through those words ever again.

Everyday we either win or lose. A good day is a win and a bad day is a loss. Sometimes the results are due to luck, but for the most part our effort and attitude gets us through the day.

Things happen for a reason and the day I realized this to be true was the day I removed my head out of my ass.

I'm a French Toast guy….. waffles are fantastic.... Pancakes…. Always a great breakfast decision, but French toast…. French toast takes life to a higher level.

I can still remember the first time I made French toast in my own place. That’s when I knew I was finally an adult. I Love French Toast!

March 24th, 2022

 I don’t have much time today and I’m not very patient this morning. So read todays quote by Leo Tolstoy and make something up on your own today.

Another rainy day heading into a cold weekend.

Today is National Cocktail Day!

I’m a third of the way into my sixty day fasting. So enjoy a cocktail for Me.

The Whiskey Sour became my favorite Covid Cocktail.

I love a good Boulevardier, Manhattan and an Old Fashioned.

I fell in love with the Sazerac the first time I visited New Orleans.

The gin martini! Just like Boobies… one isn’t enough, two is perfect, three is too much!

If I go fruify drink I prefer a Piña Colada over a Margarita.

Bob Chinn’s Mai Tai is gorgeous, but a Chef Shangri-La’s Doctor Fong is heavenly.

A good Bloody Mary makes a tailgate even mo betta!

A gin and tonic makes a swimming pool more wet.

A mimosa….. yes. I love them! It’s a great naked in bed cocktail!

The first drink I ordered at a bar before I turned 21 was a 7 and 7… when I became a bartender I was told to always card someone who orders a 7 and 7!

If I’m not in the mood for a cocktail…. A cold bottle of Old Style and a shot of Jack Daniels hits the spot!

So tonight at 5:00pm make yourself a cocktail and toast yourself!

March 23rd, 2022

    I’m quoting Emily Dickinson again today.

Let’s take the word dying and not look at it as the end of our life.

Ms. Dickinson is using death as a metaphor comparing dying to one last crazy night before we start a new journey.

I’m going to take dying and use it as changing chapters in our lives and starting new.

Some of us die in a living body because it’s hard to veer off the road we know.

I’m not going to waste a paragraph on examples in life that we’ve gone through that were hard to move out of.

And it’s easier said than done!

Life is crazy! Life is hard!

Harder for more people than you think!

Eventually the craziness and tough periods end in life.

Just square your shoulders and trudge through….

You’ll die sooner than later!

My dad was my age in 1992 and he’s gone. Thirty years from now is 2052….

….seems like a long time from now, doesn’t it?

1992 was yesterday…. It was day before yesterday at most.

I have a lot of wild nights left before 2052. I have a lot of dying before 2052, but I sure as hell have a ton of living before 2052.

It’s National Tamale Day… now in the last 30 years, since 1992, Chicago has seen a ton of Latinos move into town.

They have brought the real deal with them.

Tamales in homemade cornmeal wrapped in corn husks.

They are gorgeous and a welcomed addition to the Chicago buffet,

BUTT….

Give me a Tom Tom. Until 1992 Tamales we’re wrapped in white paper with strings on each end. Tom Tom Tamales, since 1937. Made in Chicago!

The Morning Chalkboard, brought to you by Tom Tom Tamale

March 22nd, 2022

 Quoting Billy Shakes today.

Basically what the Bard is telling us is “Just Do It!”

Don’t let fear talk you out of taking a chance.

Wear a hat that nobody else will wear…

It’s going to be a rainy spring day. I’ll tell you that the birds were loud this morning.

Yesterday I watched a couple robins pecking on the front lawn and listened to the mourning doves cooing as the sun lowered behind the building across the street.

Spring time baby!

March 21st, 2022

        This quote hits the nail.

I think people are their rudest when they are on their lows.

Most people anyway… the others are just complete assclowns that were raised by complete assclowns!

The way we treat people will be the way our kids will treat people.

…..And speaking about raising children.

To all the single mommies out there…..

It’s a tough job!

It’s a tough job emotionally and financially. When you split a family in two it’s hard to get ahead.

Being a single parent is a tough roll.

To all the single daddies out there……

It’s a lose-lose situation!

You lose time with your children and your ex wife tells everyone you’re a deadbeat POS.

Before my Oldman passed away he made me promise to be a better ex husband. That was the hardest thing Don Shepley ever asked me to do.

Being an ex husband is like running from headhunters through a forest and you run into quicksand. There are no laugh tracks and The Skipper and Professor won’t show up with a vine to pull you out.

So single parents… take a deep breath. Your marriage failed, but you are not a failure.

It’s going to be a warm day in Chicagoland… go out and live!

Buy the family a pizza!

March 20th, 2022

          The first day of Spring and the week of Chicagohenge.

Chicagohenge is when the sunrise and sunset shoots through the skyscrapers and down the East/west streets of the Loop.

Not even the Chicago politicians can muck that up.

Speaking of politicians…

Our beleaguered federal government wants to make daylight savings time permanent.

The majority of the country was giddy when they heard this news.

The majority!?!?

Richard Nixon tried changing time and it was his downfall. Watergate was just a cover up.

There is a minority of people, me included that feel if a permanent time is kept it must be Standard Time.... not Daylight Savings.

I’ll save that debate for the corner of a bar on a rainy afternoon in June.

I like the other time and seasonal issue currently at the hands of Congress.

Representative Katherine Titzlinger (R) from Montana and Representative Miquel Dumbfounded (D) from New York have a bill that changes the New Year.

Titzlinger and Dumbfounded realized winter is the only season split between two years…. They feel winter is cold and dreary and Summer should be the new winter. Summer should be when we ring in the New Year!

I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable singing “Auld Lang Syne” in flip flops…

Together these two Congressional dipshits want to move New Years Eve from January 1st to July 1st. They want June of 2025 to fall into July of 2026.

The Trumpian Republicans and the Progressive Democrats have finally found something they can agree on.

This bill is still in its infancy and has a long way to go. Let’s hope we have voted these factions of our political system back home by the time it comes to a vote.

Enjoy the beautiful day today… walk down the street and think about Louis singing about the blue sky and white clouds.

Todays quote comes from Emily Dickinson’s poem “A Light Exists in Spring.”

A Light exists in Spring A Light exists in Spring Not present on the Year At any other period — When March is scarcely here A Color stands abroad On Solitary Fields That Science cannot overtake But Human Nature feels. It waits upon the Lawn, It shows the furthest Tree Upon the furthest Slope you know It almost speaks to you. Then as Horizons step Or Noons report away Without the Formula of sound It passes and we stay — A quality of loss Affecting our Content As Trade had suddenly encroached Upon a Sacrament.  Emily Dickinson

March 19th, 2022

 Today’s quote comes from Kahlil Gibran. His book “The Prophet” is always within reach.

I don’t have a good story to tell this morning and the only advice I have is to dress warmly and wear a raincoat today. Save the outdoor things for Sunday, the first day of Spring.

I will say I worry less about my past and more about my future since I became a parent.

The only thing you need from the past is to never forget where you came from…. That is the most important thing to hold onto.

The most important thing about the future… it gets shorter with every sunset.

Today is the last Saturday of the Winter of 2021/2022. In Chicagoland it is a day to watch the NCAA tournament in a tavern. Concoct a delightful meal in the crockpot and make love in the bed you made first thing this morning.

It is also rugby day for the Six Nations…. Wales v Italy, Scotland v Ireland and England v France.

Last but not least…. To all my Beautiful Italian Friends…. Happy Saint Joseph’s Day.

Put on your ITALIA jackets and don’t spill any gravy!

March 18th, 2022

 The Full moon peaked through the clouds this morning to greet me on the last Friday of winter.

I don’t know if I’m getting more skeptical as I get older, but optimism has become one of those Lollipops and unicorns feelings.

I always cringe when someone uses the half empty/half full metaphor.

Let’s take it a step further… either the glass is dirty in the sink or clean up on the shelf.

Some people have the luxury of a dishwasher and some people have a bottle of Dawn next to the sink.

Where are your dishes when you go to work in the morning or get in bed at night?

Do you leave them in the sink or are they up on the shelf?

It’s good to go through life with hope in your heart and an optimistic skip in your step.

Just

Don’t Bullshit yourself!

Fill a vase up with water and stick some tulips in it! That’s all the optimism you really need on March 18th…..

Saturday weather looks crappy.

Sunday looks to be a nice day and it’s the first day of spring!

Spring of ‘22… how will I use these next three months?

In Chicagoland it’s the time winter season ends and construction season begins.

Do you call them

Potholes or chuckholes?

March 17th, 2022

 I was at a Saint Patrick’s Day party at a Catholic parish on a Friday night many years ago.

I ran into a buddy of mine who was a devout Catholic, he gave up booze for lent every year.

He was sitting at a table eating a corned beef sandwich drinking a green beer.

“Hey Paul, Happy Saint Patrick’s Day! You didn’t give up booze this year?”

He replied, “I did! I give it up every year Shep! Today is Saint Patrick’s day! Cardinal Bernardin gave dispensation this year since March 17th is on a Friday.”

“That was for meat Paul….”

“Oh No no no no! I read it in last Sunday’s Missalette… booze too!”

…And so goes the path of my religion as a Cafeteria Catholic!

I’ll practice dease during Advent!

I won’t practice dis.

Give me some of dat….

I don’t need any of dose.

I never do dat during lent!

Do what you gotta do! Drink green beer! It Does Not turn your piss green!

Kiss anyone that is wearing a button that says, “Kiss Me I’m Irish!”

Dance like you were an Irish dancer when you were a kid!

Enter a “Sing Danny Boy contest.”

Go see your Grandparents at the cemetery and pour “Tullamore D.E.W.” On their graves.

Go bring happiness to everyone you see even the drunk assclowns that keep butchering “Whiskey in a jar.”

May the sun shine warm upon your face; the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

March 16th, 2022

           “Get up off your big ass son! Let’s go!”

I often say that I don’t have many regrets, but I do regret the dance floors that I didn’t take advantage of through the years.

From here on out I will leave no dance floor undanced!

I grew up a SoulTrain kid so I know how to glide like a 747.

Get up! Make Your Bed and look at that number on the top right hand side of the Chalkboard!

The world is in turmoil. Our country confused and tired, but Daylight Savings Time is getting voted out!

Personally I can deal with dark nights for two months in December and January. Remember, I’m a morning guy… I dig the promise of a sunrise.

Enjoy those 9:00am sunrises for two months!

Enjoy Christmas morning in the dark!

Enjoy sending the kids To school in the dark!

While we all argue about the pros and cons of Standard or Daylight shit is hitting the fan.

It’s Erik Estrada Day! I’m not sure it’s a real thing to celebrate Officer Francis Poncherello’s Birthday, but what the hell!

Happy Birthday PONCH!

March 15th, 2022

 On this day in 44 BC Julius Caesar was assassinated.

He was given a heads up. A soothsayer told him, “Beware the Ides of March.” 

       I would have called in sick that day.
                                                       But that’s me!

        I’m not trying to put the cart in front of the horse, but this winter wasn’t so bad. March is already halfway finished. I know we can still get some snow, but I’m confident the heavy coats can go to the cleaners.

       Go have a great day, but beware of any strangers who may seem friendly driving black sedans. 

       They will tell you they can take you wherever you want to go… just beware!

March 14th, 2022

In the last five or six years I have had to use cheater glasses when I read or when I’m on the computer. So everything is invisible lately.

I picked this quote early this morning after hearing a song that came out when I was in high school.

The crazy thing about the soundtrack of our lives is how we hear songs differently as we age.

When I first heard Pete Townsend sing, “I was just thirty-four years old and I was still wandering in a haze” I looked at that as being old. Now thirty-four year olds are babies.

The first time Frank Sinatra sang about it being a very good year…I thought it was a very good year for city girls who lived up the stairs. Suddenly I feel like I’m in the autumn of the year and now I think of my life as a vintage wine.

Todays quote Should Be,

“Hearing is the art of knowing song lyrics differently than other people.”

We all have a song in our life that had Lyrics that only we knew.

You know that song?

You sang the lyrics that you heard in front of an older sibling or classmate and they ripped you a new asshole.

“It’s not “Thunder and Lightning!” It’s “Werewolves in London!”

“Dipshit!”

I was in seventh grade playing football with the older guys. They were talking about AC/DC and Foghat and Journey.

I said I liked REO Speedwagon, they laughed at me when they corrected me…

“It’s R.E.O. Not reo dipshit!”

In the late seventies early eighties if you didn’t know song lyrics or rock groups….you were immediately a “dipshit!”

Anyway,

This morning I was a dipshit while listening to “I’m Burning for you” by Blue Oyster Cult. I heard a line that I never understood.

This song came out in 1981!

Today we have this thing called Google. So after forty one years I finally figured it out.

“I've seen suns that were freezing and lives that were through

But I'm burnin', I'm burnin', I'm burnin' for you.”

I have never seen a freezing sun, but I finally know these words and the next time I hear this song….

…. I will butcher them!

It’s Pi Day! I’m not good in math, but I’m good with putting my Lips on a tasty pie!

So go enjoy a slice of life….

March 13th, 2022

 The first week for Cecilia is coming to a close. The hardest part happened last night when I was preparing Hazel’s Saturday night steak…. Yes I know, spoiled. I’m the Disneyland Daddy.

It was hard cutting the Princess’ steak without a taste test. Luckily it wasn’t poisoned and the Princess is sleeping soundly in her kingdom along the DesPlaines River.

I’ve done a lot of praying this week. Don’t worry I’m not becoming a bible thumper.

I prayed for many of you and if you asked me to pray for you… Alleluia… my mom is with you.

I’m in the process of reevaluating a couple things that I wasn’t planning on approaching.

I’m often transparent on the Morning Chalkboard, but you’ll need to buy the book or at least buy me an Old Style after May 6th if you want to know.

How about this F’ing quote today? I pulled it out of my ass!

(This last sentence is to prove I am not becoming a Bible thumper!)

I Googled “quote on re-evaluation” and it was the fifth or sixth one down.

What kind of statue will I leave when I’m gone?

Will people grieve when my tools are set aside?

Will my grandchildren become “woke” and destroy it?

The statues in the museum have men with muscles and large fig leafs. The women are voluptuous and full of life.

What museum will want a statue with a rounded love roll and a little fig leaf?

Or will my statue end up scattered in the sand like Ozymandias?

And on the pedestal, these words appear:

My name is JumboLove, Lover of hot dogs;

Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!

We are already into the middle of March… clocks are sprung ahead…. Monday is Pi day, Tuesday beware the Ides, Thursday Saint Patrick and in three weeks the Riverside Rocker checks his chlorine levels.

Have a fantastic Mid March, fill out your brackets and chip away carefully on your marble butt!

March 12th, 2022

 Last night I parked my Blazer at dusk and was walking down my street. Two cars were blocking each other on the tight approach parallel to a parked car.

The northbound car had the right of way and was aggressively jockeying for the hole. The southbound car was in the wrong and was stubbornly sitting there.

The occupants were yelling at each other while cars were stacking up behind them.

So with my Chicago Board of Trade open outcry tenor I politely said to the southbound driver, “Ma’am you could back up five feet and let this car pass, they have the right of way on this street.”

“You are a racist!” Screamed back at me in a Chicago accent.

Now I have to focus to see who my accuser was with the Chicagonese voice.

I explained how our street works and tried to help, but had to ask why I was a racist.

“Because you are a white male!”

This woman just judged me wrong and since my parents were watching for my reaction I walked away.

I think this lady was waiting for a “Fuck You Spick!” From me….

So after being accused of racism for the first time I decided to quote Maya Angelou this morning.

I heard Ms Angelou say this to a group of Black, White and Latino kids almost fifty years ago on “Sesame Street.”

Another reason to fund PBS and that comes from a Reagan man!

England versus Ireland on the rugby pitch this morning. This is bigger than michigan versus The Ohio State or Bears versus packers.

Carry them home Gentlemen and play well!

Don’t forget to change your clocks tonight! Tomorrow I’ll write sunrise/sunset times an hour later on the Morning Chalkboard!