Every other Friday, I run a couple errands after the market closes and then I get in the pick up line at Highlands Middle School.
School gets out at 3:15, but the pickup line starts gathering cars around 2:30 and by 3:00 it stretches down the block. So I’m usually the first car in line when I pull up at 2:20pm.
Yesterday I pull up as usual and grab the first spot up by the front door of the school. Betty the Green Blazer with her windows down on a windy overcast afternoon. Perfect for my Power Nap.
“Hey Siri, set a timer for thirty-five minutes.”
I recline Betty’s seat back and fall asleep right away. Drool dripping down my chin and little snoring noises escaping the open windows.
Not a care in the world. Just a divorced dad in his classic 1990’s automobile taking an afternoon nap after a busy day on the trading floor.
Alarm goes off and it is just before three o’clock. I recline Betty’s seat back up and look in the rearview mirror.
Not a single car is parked behind Betty the Green Blazer. No disgusted smirk from the snooty Western Springs mommy parked behind me in her Escalade.
My parking spot was parallel with the bike rack. It is usually packed with thirty bikes every afternoon.
The bike rack is empty….
I just realized that Hazel’s school closed early.
I was sitting in the parking lot for nearly forty minutes waiting for a daughter that had early fucking dismissal.
Right then as I’m putting things together…
…The custodian came out of the door just on the other side of the bike rack.
“Excuse me buddy, did school get out early today?”
“Yes sir…. They got out at noon today!”
I put on my seatbelt and embarrassingly sped off, getting as far away as possible.
Thinking to myself, “how fucking stupid are you John?”
I call myself John during times of raging stupidity.
Yeah, I should have kept up with the schedule.
I usually do!
I get on the school app religiously. I know the Shepkids grades. I know what homework is missing. I know what they had for lunch today. I even know if Fritz farts in chemistry class.
I’m on top of my children’s education, but on the last Friday of September, I didn’t know that Highlands’s Middle fucking School had early dismissal.
I did get one helluva nap in though. The breeze was soft with a tint of autumnal chill. The sky was cloudy and cool, just right for a nap in Betty the Green Blazer.
I’m sure Monday morning there will be a buzz in the Principal’s office.
“Did you see Hazel Shepley’s dad taking a nap waiting in the pick up line by himself Friday?”
Maybe this wouldn’t have happened if I had an amicable relationship with Hazel’s mom. If we communicated more than just by email, this could have been avoided.
Nope, I should have known!
It’s going to be a cloudy day in Chicagoland today. Maybe a chance of rain off and on. Perfect weather for National Beer Drinking Day.
Grab yourself a growler or a six pack and enjoy the last Saturday of the month.
Be astonished and check the schedule
