September 30th, 2024

 No matter how much stretching I do or healthy breakfasts I eat… I’ll never feel twenty ever again

Or thirty or even forty.

I read an article before I went to bed last night. It talked about a theory called the U-shape curve.

Man’s happiness starts to decline after the age of eighteen. The decline hits the lowest peak just before the age of fifty and then starts to climb back up.

Once a guy hits his thirties and forties he starts to feel older at a quicker pace. Muscles are sore longer after a workout. Hangovers have longer recovery periods and the juices of youth are slowly draining away.

Then the Big 5-0 comes around and we don’t remember what it’s like to feel young anymore. It’s been years since the decline began and we are content with the aging process.

We are all aging and mortality is becoming more difficult to deal with.

I remember telling my dad a story on a Saturday morning when we went out for breakfast.

I was about twenty-eight and my dad was the age that I am today in 2024.

I went to Gossage Grill after a night in the Forest Park bars with the guys. A group of Trinity girls walked into the diner and one of the girls walked up to me and said, "Sir, do you know what time it is right now?”

“Yes, it’s two twenty-seven.”

I can still remember looking at my watch and seeing that it was almost two-thirty in the morning and these high school girls were still out.

That was when I told my dad how old I felt. How a seventeen year old kid calling me sir made me feel like an old timer.

My dad replied at the end of my story, “Finish your Mickey-Mouse pancakes Grampa, we have errands to run.”

First of all I wasn’t eating pancakes shaped like the Disney Mouse. I was having a Denver omelette.

As we left the restaurant my Oldman turned to me and asked me if I needed a walker or a cane.

Now I’m the Oldman and the first thing I thought about was.

Jeez, that Trinity Chick is probably fifty by now. Probably a hot mom!

Age doesn’t escape anyone. The Oldman is in heaven. The restaurant in Oak Park closed over the summer. Gossage Grill has been closed for years. I go out with that group of guys once a year before Christmas. I’m a divorced dad trying to stretch his big body on a Monday morning and I wonder if that Trinity girl kept her school uniform?!?!?!

It’s Monday the last day of September and the last day of the quarter.

It’s going to be a gorgeous day to be astonished. The sun has a smile and YOU have a kick in your step.

Dad? I’m not going to need that cane just yet….

September 29th, 2024

 

Seems like the only time that I’m alone lately is when I’m praying or when I’m having sex. If getting up is the second hardest thing in the morning, The “Hail Mary” and “Our Father” are put on hold for a couple minutes.

I don’t mind being alone. Someone told me the other day that you are never alone if you know God. I’m never alone because I have a George in my home.

I bought an attachment for my kitchen sink faucet that points in all directions and moves on an extra elbow. It enables me to wash big pots and pans. You can even use it like a water fountain.

My assclown son realized that if he leaves it pointing up and out when he goes to bed…

…it will spray all over his Oldman’s chest when he gets up early in the morning.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me

or in Chicago they say, “Fool me once, Fuck you! Fool me twice, fuck me!”

Well George got me the first time. Quarter till four in the morning and my t-shirt and boxer briefs were soaked!

Every morning when I wake up, the faucet is staring me in the chest. My high functioning son can’t turn off a bathroom fucking light or put his dishes in the dishwasher, but he can remember to face the faucet out every night before he goes to bed.

His way of saying, “I love you Dad!”

So between Poppa God and George Shepley, I’m never alone.

The Bears have a noon game today, but I’m not drinking the Kool-Aid. I’ve got better things to do this afternoon, the last Sunday of September.

Have an incredible day and be astonished

September 28th, 2024

 Every other Friday, I run a couple errands after the market closes and then I get in the pick up line at Highlands Middle School.

School gets out at 3:15, but the pickup line starts gathering cars around 2:30 and by 3:00 it stretches down the block. So I’m usually the first car in line when I pull up at 2:20pm.

Yesterday I pull up as usual and grab the first spot up by the front door of the school. Betty the Green Blazer with her windows down on a windy overcast afternoon. Perfect for my Power Nap.

“Hey Siri, set a timer for thirty-five minutes.”

I recline Betty’s seat back and fall asleep right away. Drool dripping down my chin and little snoring noises escaping the open windows.

Not a care in the world. Just a divorced dad in his classic 1990’s automobile taking an afternoon nap after a busy day on the trading floor.

Alarm goes off and it is just before three o’clock. I recline Betty’s seat back up and look in the rearview mirror.

Not a single car is parked behind Betty the Green Blazer. No disgusted smirk from the snooty Western Springs mommy parked behind me in her Escalade.

My parking spot was parallel with the bike rack. It is usually packed with thirty bikes every afternoon.

The bike rack is empty….

I just realized that Hazel’s school closed early.

I was sitting in the parking lot for nearly forty minutes waiting for a daughter that had early fucking dismissal.

Right then as I’m putting things together…

…The custodian came out of the door just on the other side of the bike rack.

“Excuse me buddy, did school get out early today?”

“Yes sir…. They got out at noon today!”

I put on my seatbelt and embarrassingly sped off, getting as far away as possible.

Thinking to myself, “how fucking stupid are you John?”

I call myself John during times of raging stupidity.

Yeah, I should have kept up with the schedule.

I usually do!

I get on the school app religiously. I know the Shepkids grades. I know what homework is missing. I know what they had for lunch today. I even know if Fritz farts in chemistry class.

I’m on top of my children’s education, but on the last Friday of September, I didn’t know that Highlands’s Middle fucking School had early dismissal.

I did get one helluva nap in though. The breeze was soft with a tint of autumnal chill. The sky was cloudy and cool, just right for a nap in Betty the Green Blazer.

I’m sure Monday morning there will be a buzz in the Principal’s office.

“Did you see Hazel Shepley’s dad taking a nap waiting in the pick up line by himself Friday?”

Maybe this wouldn’t have happened if I had an amicable relationship with Hazel’s mom. If we communicated more than just by email, this could have been avoided.

Nope, I should have known!

It’s going to be a cloudy day in Chicagoland today. Maybe a chance of rain off and on. Perfect weather for National Beer Drinking Day.

Grab yourself a growler or a six pack and enjoy the last Saturday of the month.

Be astonished and check the schedule

September 27th, 2024

Happy Friday

 

September 26th, 2024

 I made the mistake of listening to the overnight news on the radio. I was trying to pick a quote for the Chalkboard at the same time.

The conflict in the Middle East, the mayor of New York getting indicted, the threat of a powerful hurricane in the Gulf, the pitiful White Sox, the presidential election…

…but the one news story that hit close to home.

Two assclowns shot each other in front of Jim’s Original Tuesday night at 10:30. I posted a picture of Fritz and I having lunch at Jim’s on Labor Day.

All of this made me think how chaotic the world seems right now.

As I’m thinking about the shitshow going on around the world, I thought about how wonderful “Life Goes On” day was yesterday.

I had a big piece of chocolate cake to celebrate PopPop’s first birthday in heaven. I left the toilet seat up to celebrate my twentieth wedding anniversary, but the best part of “LGO” day was celebrating National Daughter Day.

Hazel updated my iPhone for me. She showed me her new emoji that she made of her dad and she opened up a TikTok account for me.

She asked me about subjects that I liked for my new app. I replied God, cooking, rugby, hotdogs, White Sox, Blues and Jazz, Bears, Blackhawks and the trading floor. We typed in “Chicago Board of Trade” and a video popped up that I knew I was in.

“Let’s watch this one dad!”

“Was this what it was like in the olden days?”

“Do you know any of these people?”

…and as she asked me that last question, a younger version of her daddy popped up on the video.

She looked so proud and immediately made sure we saved that one.

I had a great day hanging out with my daughter on PopPop’s birthday and the day I married her mommy many years ago.

The world might be in a bad place, but for me, life goes on.

Today is National Pancake Day. I’ll take a stack of blueberry pancakes with a side of bacon.

Thursday is going to be a gorgeous day to be astonished.

Shelf the chaos and enjoy the things that make life mo betta

September 25th, 2024

 Today was once a day of celebration, but it has become a “Life Goes On” day.

On this day twenty years ago my father-in-law gave his daughter away on his birthday. September 25th was a birthday and an anniversary. The anniversary hasn’t been celebrated in years and the birthday is now a heavenly commemoration.

Life goes on…

I now that sounds kind of cold and out of sorts, but life doesn’t wait around for grief and sadness.

Life is a shitshow…

…marriages fail and people die.

I still need to climb my big ass out of bed every morning and get things done.

Instead of wallowing in the mire, I’m going to celebrate Ed Bergmann’s first birthday in heaven with the three beautiful souls produced from a failed relationship.

Because life goes on and gives us a rebirth every single day.

I’ll reach out to my mother-in-law and make sure she is alright today. I won’t be reaching out to her daughter and wishing her a happy anniversary.

I hope the day comes when the two of us can get together and toast the making of the Shepkids. That day is not today.

If you want to do something astonishing today…

… reach out to Mary Jo, say hello and wish her husband a happy birthday. That should keep her spirits up today and make her happy. That’s what Chalkheads do, make each other happy!

Yesterday’s Morning Chalkboard did a countdown to Christmas, so today I wanted to cover my Jewish Brothers and Sisters. I also quoted one of my favorite writers today.

It’s going to be a beautiful day in Chicagoland. A day to celebrate life and love and not cry over death and lost love.

The day will come when life goes on without us,

So be astonished and put a smile on the sun

September 24th, 2024

 Bedroom windows wide open as the sound of rain splattered throughout the night.

Our life is what we make of it. We walk a tightrope above happiness and sadness. Sharing joy with each other amplifies a positive feeling on this wild journey. Sharing sorrow negates the grief and numbs the negativity.

We celebrate the good times together and hold each other up during the bad times.

That is what Kahlil Gibran is telling us with today’s quote.

No circle with a smile on the Morning Chalkboard for Tuesday. Sometimes a cloudy rainy day is good for the soul. It gives us a chance to charge back up.

I drove past a Spirit Halloween store yesterday. A little over a month and we will be trick or treating. Which means we slide right into turkey and pumpkin pie. Which means we will continue to slide right into mistletoe and Caroling.

I’d like all of this sliding to get my big ass through the election, the new year, the inauguration and right into Mardi Gras.

It is Tuesday morning, it might not look so good, but be astonished anyway

September 23rd, 2024

 The last day of summer was a scorching sunny day in the nineties. Autumn arrives the following day with rain, clouds and cooler temperatures.

It was like Mother Nature flipped a switch over the weekend.

We are beginning the last full week of September. Be strong and have a clear mind today.

…And for all you bisexuals out there, today is your National Holiday.

I tried it for a couple of weeks during the bisexuality craze in the mid-nineties. Not my cup of tea, I’ll stick to being a vagitarian.

Enjoy your Monday and after you’re done scratching your head on me being Bi…. Be astonished

September 22nd, 2024

 The best part of my 21st of September was seeing a video made by someone that I didn’t expect.

A shy girl by nature that has become more of an introvert with age. She has experienced some tragedy in her recent years and yesterday she broke out of her shell and sang some EWF….

…and boy did she put some gusto into that song!

This is what I’m talking about Chalkheads. All we need to do is support each other and we can get through the mother fucker days. Our time together is shorter than we thought. Life is fragile and needs the love and tenderness that all of us can offer.

Today is the first day of autumn and I’m copacetic with not putting the smile on the sun today. The last grasp of Indian Summer was one for the record books. My ComEd bill is going to be a somabitch next month.

As you’ve gotten to know me through the years, you’ve seen how I play certain songs to mark days throughout the year. Yesterday was a fine example with EWF Day.

Today is Autumn: I Allegro Day.

At the beginning of each of the four seasons, I have made it a tradition to listen to Vivaldi. Today I will start with his Autumn piece from the “The Four Seasons.” Most of you will recognize it, even if classical music isn’t your thing.

I’m going from funky disco to a Baroque violin concerto in the same weekend.

Today the Chicago Bears are going down to Indianapolis to play the Baltimore Colts. Should be a barn burner of a game down at the Hoosier Dome.

Enjoy the overcast day and the beginning of Autumn. I’m actually looking forward to the smell of rain today.

Be astonished and Bear Down

September 21st, 2024

 The older I’ve gotten, the better I have become at holding on to bullshit…

… or should I say “letting go” of bullshit.

The quote today is telling us the more we fret and worry about something, the more obsessed we become with that certain something.

Life is an absolute shitshow on most days. Either you drag that shit into your house or you kick off your shit stomping boots at the door.

Don't let negativity take over and ruin you.

Let the abyss be the abyss on its own. You might not live in Elysian Fields, but worrying about stupid shit won’t get you there anytime soon.

Let’s chalk about today!

It is EWF day and if you want to do yourself a little favor. However the hell you listen to your music.

Compact disc, vinyl, streaming or eight tracks…

Forget about the abyss and get your ass to Boogie Wonderland.

Today is the 21st of September

Today is also the last day of the Summer of ‘24. We are about to go from burgers on the grill to chili in the crockpot. Oh how fucking glorious that sounds.

Let’s be astonished today and let’s groove tonight

September 20th, 2024

 I wish I discovered the power of prayer earlier in my days.

The older I get the more friends and family come out of the woodwork asking for the Jumbo prayers.

It was Stanley Kirk Burrell that told us, we got to pray just to make it today.

From southern Indiana to Iowa City. Highland Park to Oaklawn. From Elmwood Park to Hinsdale and all the way down to Texas. Out to Wyoming and back to Mannheim Road. From Brookfield to Bridgeport and even across to England.

All of you are in my prayers.

Today we honor and pray for POW’s that suffered while protecting us from the evils that lurk. We should always pray for our Veterans and current military personnel that keep us safe as well.

Prayers for victims of violence. Prayers for our families and friends going through dark times.

This morning I will pray for our Jewish brothers and sisters at war with hateful mongols.

Shabbat Shalom

Don’t hesitate to message me if you need me to talk about you with the honcho in heaven.

Let’s get this party started.

Be astonished and blessed

September 19th, 2024

 Wait a minute…. What does that quote say?

Nobody wakes up in the morning planning on having a bad day.

I woke up this morning thinking it was Friday. That kind of sucks.

I also forgot to change my sheets yesterday. In the summer or when it’s hot, I change them on Saturday and on Wednesday. I woke up this morning with an ingrown hair on the nape of my neck. That kind of sucks.

First thing I thought when I felt it pounding on the pillow….

…I forgot to change my fucking sheets yesterday.

So I’m laying in bed with a hemorrhoid on the back of my head thinking it’s Friday….

….not a good start to the morning.

I better sit rather than stand when I take my first morning leak and I better turn Betty’s hazard lights on for the ride out to work.

Ah fuck it

All I know is in two days, I will be in Boogie Wonderland. I am going to have a reason to sing a song. I’m going to appreciate the shining stars in the sky. Maybe it might be a fantasy and I will realize that all the love is gone, but you better bet that I am going to groove and I’m going to glide like a 747.

I am going to tell the DJ to play my favorite song and I’m going to chase the clouds away.

I might even quit pretending and let love change my mind.

It’s Thursday.

It’s going to be a beautiful day. We just had two great nights lit up by a gorgeous full moon and maybe, just maybe this weekend, Al Czervik will be spot on.

Be astonished and don’t suck

September 18th, 2024

 The sky has been busy carrying the Harvest moon across the night. Just after popping up over Lake Michigan it experienced a partial eclipse over the southside of town. If you get up early, you’ll get a clear view along the western horizon.

Yesterday morning I climbed out of bed on the unusual side. I knew right away when my feet hit the floor that I was in store for an awkward Tuesday…

…and it was. Very superstitious

We have another gorgeous day scheduled for humpday. We are losing over two minutes of daylight each day as summer ends.

So enjoy it while we have it.

Be astonished and sweep the shed.

September 17th, 2024

 Uckfa ouya

That was the one and only phrase I learned in Pig Latin.

Don’t ask me why I woke up thinking about “Uckfa ouya” this morning.

I’m a man of few words right now, even though I woke up at two o’clock. I have enough time to chalk down a decent story, but haven’t got one.

I thumbed through my book of quotes and decided to chalk this one down. It is credited to a Spanish nun from the 16th century, St. Teresa of Ávila.

Sister is telling us that life isn’t always easy and without courage it would probably be a complete shitshow. Courage and a wooden ruler for Sister Teresa made her life easier.

Today is Monte Cristo sandwich Day. A Monte Cristo is basically a ham and cheese on French toast. It was always something old people ordered when I was a kid.

I’d go to MCL Cafeteria with my Gramma and great aunties and at least two of them would order a Monte Cristo. I hated going to lunch with all of those old ladies back in the 1970’s. I’d doing anything to be able to do it today.

Unfortunately they are all dead and if they were alive…. They’d all be in their one hundred and tens. That would be a shitshow.

Another warm September day for us today. I ran out of GoldBond over the weekend. If you see me walking down the avenue gingerly, it’s because I’ve chaffed myself.

I better go to Walgreens. The forecast is warm throughout the remainder of the month.

Be astonished and enjoy the Harvest Moon

September 16th, 2024

 I don’t hate Mondays. I’m just not digging this one.

I’m rooting for Tuesday already.

Be astonished

September 15th, 2024

 Lately when someone asks me how I’m doing, I’ve been replying,

“My children are happy and healthy, my job is going well and for a big kid in his fifties… I’m feeling pretty fucking good.”

Which more or less sums up the current situation.

Saturday night was our last sunset in Chicagoland after seven o’clock. The next post seven o’clock sunset will be on the eighteenth of March next year. That is one hundred and eighty three days away.

We got this!

Hopefully the warm weather will help eliminate the traffic cone and detour signs. Just as construction season ends, winter season will begin.

That’s the way it goes in the big city.

You Chalkheads are probably scratching your heads on the Bears opponent today. I don’t follow expansion teams. Any professional sports team established after 1976 doesn’t exist in my world.

For me, the Bears are playing the Houston Oilers. In fact the Bears played the Houston Oilers last week as well. A true historian of the NFL knows where I’m going with this.

It’s Sunday Funday and we are slipping into the back end of September. That actually sounds a little kinky.

“We are slipping into the backend of September.”

Next Saturday is already EWF Day.

Let’s enjoy the warmth and daylight of the coming week before we head to boogie wonderland.

Be astonished and never be scared to walk onto a dance floor.

September 14th, 2024

 Last night I did what many dads have been doing for years. When you order a pizza for carryout and they say forty-five minutes, you leave in five.

This stunt allows you to get out of the house and have a quick cocktail at the bar. Knowing the rest of the night usually has movies with talking animals and coloring books. Followed by bath time and lullaby songs.

The Shepkids are older, so now I’m not dodging parental responsibilities, but getting twenty-minutes alone with Jumbo.

Yesterday, just before five o’clock, there were nine people at the bar. My local bar can seat about fifty.

It was me and four couples. All spread out on different sides. Allowing enough space between us to have alone time.

Couple number one was casually dressed in a blouse and dress shirt. They probably bought their outfits at Nordstrom. They were both drinking straight up martinis. They sat fairly tight to each other, appearing to be in their early fifties. They smiled, laughed and held a consistent conversation. Their kids were probably off to college and they are reinventing themselves as empty nesters. Soaking in every moment happily together.

Couple number two were dressed nicely in outfits bought at Costco or Target. They were in their early sixties. When they were sitting down, the man helped his wife get seated in her barstool before he sat down. Old school move by a man who has loved the same woman for forty years.

He ordered a fruify drink while she looked to have a cocktail in a rocks glass. It was like the bartender gave them the wrong drinks, but at that age…. You do you.

Hell… I was drinking a frothy whiskey drink in a fancy glass!

Couple three was sitting at the corner of the bar. Not next to each other, but on the angle facing each other. They were in their early thirties and looked to be newlyweds without children. She was wearing a shoulderless dress with a pixie haircut and round earrings that matched the color of her dress. She had that Molly Ringwald look to her.

Her husband was one of those last remaining hipsters, late for the party, but still holding on to the look. He had his confederate soldier beard and a summer weight flannel shirt. He was obviously drinking an IPA while Molly Ringwald was drinking a cosmopolitan.

They were younger millennials that haven’t yet developed that shared tenderness the first two couples possess.

Couple number four was sitting the closest to me. They were the only couple that weren’t married. He was in his late fifties, she was probably five, maybe ten years younger. Neither wore a wedding ring.

He had his stool pointed at an angle towards his date in an aggressive manner. She was facing forward looking at the television across the room. Their conversation seemed like a job interview, so I decided they probably met on Bumble and are just dating.

They were both drinking beers from a glass. Beer is always the easiest drink to order when first getting to know someone. Unless you are me, a Manhattan in my humble opinion is the best drink on a first date.

Four couples representing four different types of a relationship….

… and then at the end of the bar near the carryout door is a divorced dad pounding a quick drink while waiting on pizza for his family.

I sat there thinking about what I might be missing out on. My thoughts aren’t going to be chalked about this morning. Too much clutter and I don’t feel like cleaning the chalkboard erasers this early on a Saturday.

I will say that I felt comfortable being alone and not having to force a conversation. At this point I’m done with job interview dates and have settled into being the third wheel, the fifth wheel and yesterday, the ninth wheel.

I enjoyed watching shit do stuff before going home to divvy out pizza and pour pop.

One thing I don’t want to leave out from this Dad Carryout Pizza stunt. Always order your pizza “no cut.” Pizza travels better as one piece rather than twenty pieces. The pizza stays hot and the cheese doesn’t coagulate between slices. Invest in a solid pizza cutter.

More advice from Martha “JumboLove” Stewart.

Enjoy the warm September weather while you can. Today is exactly twelve and a half hours long. Shorter the days become as shadows reach longer on our path.

Be astonished and amazed today

September 13th, 2024

 Let’s finish this week strong and never forget how fragile our time together is.

Didn’t think I’d be saying this in mid September…. GoldBond up!

Be astonished

September 12th, 2024

 I often daydream about going back to 1978 and straightening my parent’s lives out for them. In turn, that would straighten out my life as well.

The imagination also allows me to remember every sporting event and stock market move between 1978 and 2024.

My parents are on their own. I’m to busy betting Stanley Cups and Kentucky Derby’s. I’m buying low and selling high. Trading every stock and commodity market with great precision.

I’m too busy to help my parents. I can’t correct their past.

Only in a daydream…

….because the past cannot be cured.

Today is National Chocolate Shake Day.

Since the theme of the day is the past, milkshakes have played a big role in happy memories.

The best shakes were served in big fluted glasses with a dollop of whipped cream on the top. A long spoon and straw accompanied with the metal mixer cup containing the overflow that couldn’t fit in the glass.

Margie’s Candies, La Maison de Bonbon, Harmonies Hamburgers, Farrell’s, Petersen’s, Ceres Cafe, Hole in the Wall and The Polar Bear.

Sometimes I’d have a malted instead of a shake to mix things up.

Pun intended…

Now I know where you’ll find me today around two o’clock. I’ll be sitting at Polar Bear having a chocolate shake.

The sun has its smile back on September 12th.

Be astonished

September 11th, 2024

 I know one person that didn’t watch the presidential debate last night. A buddy of mine by the name of Jimmy O’Brien.

Jimmy has been thirty-three years old for the last twenty-three years. Since OB has been suspended at the same age for all these years…

… I ended up marrying the young girlfriend that he never got a chance to meet. He was planning on coming to Chicago in October and hopefully find the time to tell her why I’m an assclown.

Jimmy has been that same age while I became the father of three children. One of them born on OB’s birthday of July twenty-fourth.

Jimmy’s three kids all became adults during the time he’s been stuck at the age of thirty-three.

Stuck at thirty-three years old throughout my marriage and into my divorce. Stuck at thirty-three while I finished my thirties. Finished my forties and am getting damn fucking close to finishing my fifties.

I have lost my mom, I’ve lost my marriage, I’ve lost my trading floor, I’ve lost my dad….

… but my friend from Brooklyn is still thirty-three years old. He hasn’t lost anything in his twenty-three years as a thirty-three year old.

I wonder what would happen these next twenty-three years, if I don’t make it home from work tonight?

What would I miss between 2024 and 2047?

I wouldn’t have to watch the Shepkids grow into their thirties and forties. I wouldn’t have to schlep out to some university and watch them graduate. I wouldn’t have to watch them become parents. I wouldn’t have to share grandchildren with their mother.

Geez, if I don’t make it home today, I won’t get to see the White Sox lose over 120 games this season. I won’t get to see the Bears go through another shitty quarterback. I won’t be able to watch soccer become a major sport in America.

If I don’t come home from work today, I won’t have to watch my friends, my family and my colleagues get old and die.

I can be fifty-eight forever….

…if I don’t make it home after work today.

Shit Jimmy... Those muslims did you a solid kid! Just think of all the grief and bullshit you missed out on?!?!

Being stuck at thirty-three years old is a pretty good deal.

No more mortgage payments on the house in Park Slope. No tuition payments to Syracuse. No more George Bailey on Christmas Eve. No wedding reception headaches. No watching the love of your life go through menopause.

…and you don’t have to go to work today and listen to everyone talk about the prick and the mutt looking like a couple dumb fucks at their podiums last night!

Stuck at the age of thirty-three sure did make your life easier.

Well, maybe I won’t take life for granted as much OB?

I guess I’ll go ahead and make dinner for the Shepkids tonight. I’ll ask them about homework. I’ll bitch at one of them about something or another. I’ll go ahead and get sad when I drop two of them off with their mother. Finally, before I go to bed, I’ll tell the oldest Shepkid that I love him.

Just think Jimmy… you and Jesus both got whacked at the same age.

No smile on the sun today, get home safe and be astonished