I love to go to the grocery store. Back in the day you were either a Dominick’s family or The Jewels family. My dad preferred Dominick’s over the Jewel, so when I ventured out on my own, I went to the Dominick’s as well.
I was lost when all the Dominick’s shut down about twenty years ago. There was probably an eighteen-month gap before The Mariano’s opened up in all the old Dominick’s locations.
I hated going to The Jewels during that year and a half span.
These days I use several different grocery stores to keep the Shepkids and JumboLove fed. I hit the Amazon Fresh, Aldi, Costco, Tony’s and Mariano’s.
Well, I did go to Mariano’s until recently. Mariano’s was the shit. They have a tavern; they have a grill and occasionally they’ll have an oyster bar. Before Covid they had live music and it was literally a meat market.
The one I go to has a mix of hot high maintenance Hinsdale divorcées and low maintenance Westchester divorcées.
Like I said, I did go to Mariano’s until recently.
I was in the self checkout line. I had about ten items in my cart. First one rung up more expensive than it was priced. Then the third one did the same. I’m not talking fifty cents or a buck. These prices were off by several dollars.
By the time I got to my last item, the checkout had an error code and the light started flashing for assistance.
The assistance lady was at her perch texting. This wasn’t a young girl, this was a woman in her late forties, early fifties.
My light is flashing and flashing and flashing and I’m standing there with my thumbs up my ass trying to be patient.
Finally, Flo looked over, finished her text quickly and walked to my checkout station.
Now I’m pissed because of the wrong charges and waiting for Flo to finish her text messages.
Flo knows me… I come in there every Wednesday before I pick up the redheads. She recognizes the jovial and friendly presence that I bring.
When Flo approached me, I handed her my beat up Mariano’s card and told her that I quit. I left her standing there with ten unpurchased items and my membership card from 2006.
I walked out, got into Betty and drove to the school pick up line without any groceries.
I ended up going to the local grocery in town that is overpriced to buy a few staples for the night.
You’ll never see me in a Mariano’s ever again and I’m not desperate enough to go into The Jewels.
I’ve got Amazon, Aldi’s, Tony’s and Costco all tucked in next to each other around Harlem and Cermak.
Oh, and the Binny’s is right across the street.
I probably shouldn’t bitch about Flo texting while my attendant light was flashing. Chicago is full of food deserts where many low income families live. They don’t have the luxury of four grocery stores up the block.
I also feel bad for the single Hinsdale and Westchester mommies left back at Mariano’s. They won’t have the Shepley booty to look at in the produce section any longer.
I think today will be a good day to park Betty the Green Blazer up on the roof. I have the Shepkids this weekend and I’m going to have a hotdog at Parky's Hot Dog's for the first time since late February.
It has been a somabitch taking the Shepkids there and not partaking these last couple months.
The sun should be peaking out and smiling at you today….
… remember to be astonished and to stop and smell the lilac bush.
Next week the fragrance will be gone.
