I try not to watch the evening news in front of the kids. Mostly because I don’t need them exposed to the negative news stories that make up most of the newscast.
Yesterday I slipped and didn’t realize Hazel was sitting on the couch watching the Channel Two News with me….. until.
“Dad are you watching this station because you’re attracted to this voluptuous blonde?”
My ten year old daughter knows the word voluptuous?
And with a smirky reply, “Oh okay, because I thought you had a crush on the traffic lady on the other station!”
Hazel was right and I came right out with it…
“Yes Hazel, I think this woman is gorgeous and the lady on Channel Nine is beautiful!”
Suddenly the pre dinner conversation turned to body image. I’ve prepared myself to be constructive when this subject comes up.
My beautiful daughter was blessed with the Shepley booty and will never be in “Swan Lake.”
So I started to explain why I really thought the voluptuous blonde on the early evening news was attractive.
It was her confidence and how smart she is. I explained how poised she was behind the desk and when standing in front of the green screen. I tried to point out how she picks outfits that drape her body to bring out her beauty.
Some stations pick cute little pixie girls to do the weather, but even they have the education and courage to do their job.
A high majority of men might turn on the four o’clock news and think, “why is this big chick doing da news?”
Those guys are ignorant jagoffs Hazel!!!
I bet the news girl read a ton of books in fifth grade. I bet she reads a ton of books today.
I bet the news girl walks and runs and does activities that makes her butt smell.
I bet the news girl has to make sure to powder her thighs. Because it’s alright to have thighs that rub.
I bet the news girl has a hard time figuring out what she wants to wear.
But nothing stops her because she has confidence in herself and confidence is beautiful.
Someday soon Hazel will bust into her dad’s blog and read all of his stories and theories. She will recognize all of her dad’s quotes and sayings. I just hope when that day comes I will have a daughter that has the confidence in herself to take on the task of life.
I think Hazel’s mom does a good job with all the girls stuff. I’m just worried that Hazel will be at my house when Auntie Flo makes her first visit.
And when that day comes I’ll point out that the lady on Channel Two has the same visitor and still gets on television with the same poise and confidence.
Just another adventure in the life of a divorced dad putzing along through life.
It is Saturday the 8th of July. I want to thank all of you that pointed out that I had today’s date on yesterday’s Chalkboard. One less thing to change this morning.
Today we are going to the ballgame to forget our troubles. We are going to leave body image at the front gate. I’m sure the Channel Two girl gets the small batting helmet sundae when she goes to the ballpark.
Get out there all you Chalkheads and enjoy the second Saturday of July.
