If birthday’s are meant to make you feel like a King for one day then “God Save the King.” Because so many people reached out yesterday to support me on the start of my next lap around the sun.
I’m pretty tapped out this morning after a day that started and ended with a cigar. The only disappointment yesterday came from George when he found out there wasn’t any birthday cake after dinner.
If God can give me twenty eight more July 1st’s I’ll be pretty satisfied. That gets me into the 2050’s and well into my eighties.
Jeez that sounds real old and closer than I really want.
If the next twenty eight years go as quickly as the last twenty eight years…. I’ll be knocking on heaven’s door sometime early next week.
Just think of the advancements in technology in the last twenty eight years. In 1995 I was dialing in on AOL. I just got rid of my brick phone and replaced it with a Nextel. My home phone was on the wall in my kitchen with a new caller ID box sitting on top.
In 1995 VH1 had a program that went through the top ten videos of the week. At the end they gave a fax number to dial if you wanted the list sent to your home. Just what everyone needed, a fax with the list of top ten videos from last week. Last week was Weezer, this week was Natalie Merchant. That Coolio video is moving up quickly on this weeks list.
I worked with a guy who had a fax machine in 1995. Every week he received twenty to thirty copies of the VH1 top ten videos. He finally caught on to the VH1 prank so I switched it up to other important faxes. He started getting the Circuit City sales page and the Milwaukee Brewers starting line up.
I signed this guy up for a daily report the Chicago Board of Trade put out every morning. The report came at four in the morning and was 20-30 pages long.
It was hard holding back the laughs when this guy got into the trading pit and started bitching about his fax machine going off before the crack of dawn.
Just twenty eight years ago Rush hospital gave expecting fathers a beeper to notify them that their wife was going to have the baby.
We had another guy in the trading pit who had his beeper ready. This guy was nervous already. I eyespied the number on the side when he was showing it to the guy standing next to us.
I wrote the number on a trading card and had our trade checker call it every ten minutes or so.
Again, it was hard to hold in the laughs when this guy blew a gasket.
Karma is a bitch and will probably return in the next twenty eight years.
I’m going to be taking a nap at Hazel’s house in 2050 and my grandson John will have a bowl of warm water to stick Grampa Jumbo’s hand in.
All those faxes and fake beeper calls will be paid back when Hazel is screaming about the couch cushion that I just pissed all over.
….every time I changed a poopy pull up I would face my big ass at the Shepkid and say, “see this big ass? Someday you’ll be changing my diaper!”
Before that day comes I need to work on my bucket list and raise some Shepkids into adulthood.
It’s five o’clock on a Sunday morning. My overnight Blues show just ended and my Sunday morning jazz show is beginning.
I’ve got to make a pot of coffee, water my tomatoes, feed my squirrels and enjoy an almond croissant on the balcony. I had a couple Churchills yesterday so why not have a couple slices of bacon later this morning.
Have a great Sunday and fill the world with love and kindness… or prank someone who still has a fax machine!
