Last night George and I were driving between the Jewish cemeteries in Forest Park. The fog was starting to get thick just after sunset and George said it made him feel eerie.
So I did what Don Shepley did whenever he was driving on DesPlaines through the Jewish cemeteries… I started to sing songs from “Fiddler on the Roof.”
A line from “Tradition,” a line from “If I were a Rich Man,” “Anatevka” and the grand finale of….
….. “To life, to life, l'chaim.
Life has a way of confusing us,
Blessing and bruising us.
Drink, l'chaim, to life!”
I suddenly felt a chill through my body as we approached Cermak Avenue.
I thought, maybe it was my Oldman telling me he approved of passing the tradition down to George.
Or maybe….
It was a Jewish grandmother that enjoyed my singing?
I had this giddy feeling for the rest of the ride back to Riverside. I realized I don’t sing as much as I should. Covid, Wokeness, MeToo and George Floyd have all stifled my Political incorrectness!
When we were on the trading floor we quoted from “Blazing Saddles.” We acted like Don Rickles, Archie Bunker, Fred Sanford and George Jefferson.
America doesn’t make fun of each other anymore. We’ve gotten too sensitive and our feelings are easily hurt.
Yesterday someone posted on the Riverside Facebook page, “how are the roads this morning?”
I made a comment that they have this thing on television called the news. The news consistently gives a report on the weather.
Oh My God!
The husband of the lady who made the post and another dweeb got all bent out of shape and called me rude.
I just got started when suddenly the post disappeared. I was going to turn that useless post into a trading pit. Unfortunately the softies realized it was a stupid post and abandoned me…. I was blocked!
I’m getting to that age where I can be Achie or George and people will just roll their eyes and nervously laugh.
I’m not an apologetic guy…. I’m going to turn this life up to eleven and if the Sheriff is near… I’ll let you know! I’m going to let that dame blow on my dice and if Lyle wants to hear “The Camp Town Ladies,” I’m going to sing it for him!
Shit Chalkheads…. We’ve been stuck with Bush, Obama, Trump and Biden this century. This isn’t a tragedy, this is a comedy and it’s time to sing, dance and make fun of each other!
One of you better make fun of my big booty or my little soul patch today or this rant will go to waste!
Smash a pitcher and fill a pitcher with beer for Saint Paul…. It’s Paul Pitcher Day and in Chicagoland the temperature will be near forty… shorts and t-shirts to the office.
....And also be kind to Edith and Louise if you see them!
