January 17th, 2022

 If I had a DeLorean that traveled in time I’d go three places.

I’d go back and make sure Alois and Klara Hitler didn’t have a baby Adolph.

I’d climb in bed with Marilyn Monroe the night the Kennedy’s had her killed.

…..AND

The last thing of historical change that I would do is make sure today wasn’t made a National Holiday over thirty years ago.

Don’t scratch your head!

I would have walked up the stairs of the Lorraine Motel to tell Martin that his speech the day before was spectacular.

In doing so I would have positioned Jesse Jackson between Dr King and James Earl Ray.

Could you imagine the world if MLK lived into the 1990’s?

I’m going with the answer….

BETTER!

So no “Green eggs and Ham” on SNL in 1988 and no 3 day weekend in the middle Of January.

Tough shit! You can’t go down to Fort Meyers for a quick trip, but in return we would never have heard of Rodney King!

As for my other two visits…. I can only imagine how Mo Betta things would be without a swastika!

And the night with Marilyn…. Well….I’m under the sheets and the Kennedy’s walk into the bedroom!

“Hello Jack! Hello Bobby! I voted for Nixon!”

No Lee Harvey…. no Sirhan Sirhan!

I just eliminated three historical assassins, stopped cousins from having sex in Austria-Hungary and made love to a famous movie star in front of the dead Kennedy’s!

I’ll finish this book report with a quote from the Blue Oyster Cult, “History shows again and again

How nature points out the folly of men….”

Godzilla!

January 16th, 2022

 I woke up this morning to “Dad, do you have a tissue?”

That is definitely a good way to wake up!

Its even better than, “John, I’m going to put my clothes on and make us some bacon.”

Now that I’m happy I need to make a bunch of you happy and then

You pass it forward.

It’s kind of like that commercial when we were kids….

“I told two friends and they told two friends and they told two friends and so on and so on and so on…..”

My mom would turn the sound down when that commercial came on. She also hated when Tattoo would ring the bell and yell, “de plane, de plane!”

You light one candle and that one candle can light many more. Sister Francis Irene said this in second grade.

Most kids in class saw this as how Jesus started out the whole Christian thing and why We had to get up and serve 7:15am mass.

I saw it as an excuse to go home and play with matches in the alley.

Speaking of Jesus…. Our Jewish brothers and sisters had a horseshit Saturday. Give them a call. Let them know we are with them!

Hatred and Terrorism just love to blow out our candles!

….buy a bigger box of matches and make Sister Francis Irene happy!

Speaking of happy….. talk around the campfire is Forest Park is having the Saint Patrick Day Parade on Saturday, March 5th!

Shepkids will be with their MomMom that weekend and I’m buying a new blue ribbon to wear under my kilt!

See you at Shanahans!

January 15th, 2022

 I don’t know what the hell normal is…. 98.6?

These poor kids today can’t hold a thermometer to the lightbulb when mom leaves them alone anymore.

You stick the thing in their ear and five seconds later….. they are either normal or running a fever!

Most of us had 105 degree fevers before we figured out how to hold the thermometer just right to the lamp on our nightstand.

I got it down to a science….. the 101.3 to 102.2 range.

Anything under 101.3 and you’re going to school! It was the 1970’s and if you weren’t dying the nuns expected your ass at your desk.

Anything over 102.2 and your mom knew You were trying to jag her around.

I know many of you that are reading this are not normal. Many of you are eclectic, weird, spiritual and theatrical on a daily basis.

How cool is that?

This whole Covid thing has given us alone time or cocoon time to spring out into a post Covid era with a different attitude!

Explore new things… take chances…. Step out of the box!

The day will come!

The day will come and it’s going to be amazing!

This second wave gives us another opportunity to challenge ourselves!

Walk down the avenue and sing show tunes!

That is what I’m going to do!

I’m going to walk over to the grocery singing “If I were a rich man” from Fiddler on the Roof!

Other than that…… put something good in the crockpot and someone you love in your arms….

January 14th, 2022

 The Morning Chalkboard is a late edition today.

I hit the snooze, I talked to my parents, I stared hard at my Farrah Fawcett poster too long and before I knew it…. I ran out without taking a picture of my quote….

Now I’m getting dinner together for the Shepkids and I’m all discombobulated…..

So….. sometimes we have sad periods in our lives. We get kicked in the throat by an event and we start a downhill trend….

Cry…. It’s good to cry…. Then pick

Your ass up and keep on truckin’!

Straight F’s in Life….

FOUNDATION: FAITH- FAMILY- FRIENDS

Things always get better… I mean…. Shit…. Our time here is limited….. skip the rainbow and run for the sun baby!

Blackhawks are a perfect example of the ups and downs of life…. Lose 6, win 4, lose 5, win 2…… take the good days and deal with the bad!

That’s what the snooze bar, praying and Farrah Fawcett are there for…. To take the stress away!

January 13th, 2022

 In August of 2006 my life changed for the better. I was forty years old and I finally became a man. I became a father.....

I was given the gift of a son. A son that was high maintenance right off the bat. I didn't know any better because I was new at this parent thing.

He walked right away, he talked right away (loud and quickly), he was reading right away....

He was also having difficulty sleeping every night, he was putting playground chips in his mouth all the time, he was taking off his itchy clothes all the time and he was pushing his mother and I to our limits all the time.

We couldn't find the right daycare or a perfect babysitter and the stress was getting thick around the house.

One day I told a guy at work that I was starting to understand why crackheads throw their crying babies out of six floor windows.

My ex wife tried homeopathic methods, she tried diets, she tried everything. She found therapists. She got him an IEP and that was a blessing. Finally we took him to get tested.

When the Doctor told us our son was on the Autistic Spectrum my ex wife started crying. "Mrs. Shepley.... the halls at Northwestern and the University of Chicago are full of kids Like George!"

I have watched George go from being a boy on the spectrum to becoming a young man on the spectrum. He has watched me grow older as well.

Many of us have a Special Needs Child. From Autism to Downs Syndrome to Diabetes.

The thing is these are not handicaps... these are lights that shine differently.

We all belong in a category..... all with different challenges.... all with endless possibilities.

Parenthood brings the joy and pain of watching our children grow and without knowing it our children are watching us grow as well.

I hear my dad everyday say, "Did you give them a good example before you blew your top?"

I wonder where he came up with that brilliant theory..... Live and Learn!

Our job as Parents is to leave the world a better us.... I'm better than Don Shepley and George will be better than me....

Monday night everyone should go out and howl at the full moon!

January 12th, 2022

 I’ve met a lot of guys that were born on third base, but thought they hit a triple. Born in to a family that had more advantages than others.

I wasn’t born on third base. In fact I had to take the el to the ballpark and when I got there….. nosebleed seats.

For most of my formative years I lived with my mom. She was a very sad person. Always looking at the past with disappointment and the future with doubt and fear. Not a healthy situation to live in.

Definitely not third base looking at home plate.

My mom could have gone to The Julliard School, but instead went into the family business….. the convent.

Yep, my mom was a nun for five years.

I’ll never know the real story on that decision, but it haunted her for the rest of her life.

So when it came to me and my perspective I learned to leave the anger of disappointment in the past and push forward towards a bright future.

Sometimes I walked myself into a shitshow, but it didn’t stop me and I kicked the crap off my shoes and moved on….

Life doesn’t have to be a thread of hope. It’s a rope and we are playing Tug of War.

Grip hard and angle your fat ass so to have a strong position and control of the momentum of life.

Kiss a Ginger Day! I have the Shepkids on Wednesdays. So I’ll have that chance.

Little warm up in Chicagoland…. The line at the car wash will be long!

January 11th, 2022

       I worked on a trading floor for five decades. Well…. I snuck the last decade in with two and a half months. Then Covid closed it down, but technically five decades.

     If I learned anything it was how to walk through a fire. It was a chaotic work place where you learned to manage time, maneuver markets and catch whatever was thrown at you.

                           We don’t walk through fire very often in life.
                            Though….
    Last month some of us had tangled Christmas tree lights. How did you deal with it?
    Did you go to O’hare for a flight only to find out it was canceled? How did you handle it?
     You are late for work and the train gates just went down….How did you get through it?
These are examples of walking through a fire. Did we come out calm or come out frustrated?

       Yesterday I posted a picture of a peanut butter and jelly smooshed with potato chips. It touched more people than I thought and evoked childhood memories for so many. I was surprised at how many of you guys posted happy stories.
               I also told a story that Took place in 1982.
         So let’s evoke more memories and go back to 1982…
   Olivia Newton John had the number one single. We had a Polish pope. A former actor was our President and Maggie was the Prime Minister.
1982…. A different world!
               Enjoy the later sunset and the rise in temperatures…. Slightly, but something to build a dream on! 

Catholic school lettuce!

Peanut butter and jelly with potato chips!

Monday Lunch!

January 10th, 2022

 Forty years ago today, January 10th, 1982 the Midwest was hit by a Polar Vortex. The Cincinnati Bengals had a playoff game that day in -40 degree wind chills. I was 15 and about 50 miles up the road in Greensburg, Indiana.

That day was my Great Gramma’s 100th birthday. It was a huge celebration for the family. The whole town celebrated this grand day on one of the coldest days in Hoosier history.

It didn’t stop my Great Gramma or her ten daughters. Most of my Great Aunts actually made it into their late nineties. My Gramma lived to 106. Tough German family running errands and making preparations for the day.

They had a mass and a banquet planned. It was the last mass that I served as an Altar boy. By that time I was the Minnie Minosa of Altar boys.

In fact it was the first time I drove a car on a highway. I had my learners permit and my mom let me drive down from Indianapolis to Greensburg on the interstate.

I was a badass that weekend. An altar boy that can drive….

One thing I learned that weekend was my family had a strong work ethic. If something needed to be done, do it! Find something to do or I’ll find something for you! There was NO sitting around if we wanted this to go off without any snags.

Well it all worked out and Gramma Stier passed away about a year later.

My Great Gramma is one of many that look down on me every morning. They watch me put my shoulder down and scrum into everyday full throttle.

I’m not sure what inspired a German woman who lived from 1882 until 1983 in a small Indiana community. She did instill her strong faith and no nonsense view in those that she raised.

Back then they didn’t wait for miracles. They just got up every morning and went to work.

It’s 2022 and many of the people who gathered on that cold Sunday have passed away, but the Altar boy is getting up and going to work on this cold January morning.

Happy Heavenly Birthday Gramma Stier…..

January 9th, 2022

 Todays quote is on that The grass is always greener, the glass is half full theme……blah, blah, blah!

Here is what’s going on in our neighborhood today.

The grass is covered with snow, the coffee cup is full of strong and black and the sidewalks and streets are covered with ice!

So….. when the sidewalk is icy the crockpot will simmer!

Today is the last Bear game of the Nagy era. They’ve got to do something really insane to perk my interest again.

You’ve heard stories of bad tattoos of old girlfriends?

I have one!

Just after SBXX I went and got a Bears tattoo on my right shoulder blade. I don’t regret it, but I’d be happier if it was a Moon or a tree or a mermaid!

Alright… lay low and keep warm on this Sunday Funday! We bring in the middle of January this week and soon we will see sunsets after 5:00pm.

So roses on thorn bushes baby!

January 8th, 2022

 The bright spots in our lives are often looked over because we get to busy tromping through the monotony of our daily routine.

On a clear night when the stars and the moon look down on us is the time to count our blessings and take a look at our mortality.

It’s bubble bath day… I really need a bigger bathtub on this National Day. All I need is a couple gallons of water and one of Hazel’s bath bombs!

Though……

If I get stuck and you are one of six people I call to get me unstuck….

Don’t worry!

I’m getting cremated and this will be the closest you’ll get to being my pallbearer!

And you’ll get to see me wet and naked……. “Houston Oilers! Houston Oilers! Houston Oilers Number One!

We’re the Houston Oilers, Houston Oilers Number One!”

January 7th, 2022

 I’m not walking down the boulevard with rainbows and unicorns flying out my rearend, but I do have some woopie cushions and firecrackers in my pockets.

Spreading happiness is better than being a dick to people. I think I’ve been a better person since my dad went to heaven. Simply because I think he can see everything I do.

My oldman lived 180 miles away from me during high school, but he somehow knew before my mom whenever I pulled a stupid stunt!

Heaven is much closer than 180 miles. So I really don’t have an option….

It’s Bobblehead Day and I’ve picked one of my favorites this morning…. My Houston Oilers Bobblehead.

I’m glad my dad wasn’t in heaven in 1994 when I was in a hot tub with a half dozen Houston Oiler cheerleaders.

This is a story for another day and it happened in Vegas… so that story is packed tight in Nevada!

Dress warm! It was -17 wind chill when I cranked Betty this morning….. relax!

Betty is my Blazer!

Wipe the dust out of your crockpot and cuddle with someone nice!

January 6th, 2022

 When I walked into my Office building this morning the security guard asked me if it was cold enough for me.

….and I just

Replied, “What are ya gonna do?….it’s January in Chicagoland!”

When I got into the elevator I thought to myself….. for over 30 years I took either the CTA train or the Metra. I stood on train platforms that I walked to in the icy dark mornings.

At this point in my life I’m in paradise. I walk to my Chevy Blazer…. It starts, it warms up, it doesn’t smell like ass, I don’t need to wear a mask or earphones.

I arrive in a parking garage attached to my building. I don’t have to walk across the Chicago River or across the Loop.

The work commute makes winter more enjoyable…. As long as my baby starts up and the roads are clear…. Let’s Roll!

The warmth of Summer is 140 days away. We celebrate America in 180 days. The sweetness of summer or the sweatness of summer will return…. So enjoy this brisk January morning!

Today is January 6th. It

Is not December 7th or September 11th. Don’t let the media give this day historical value. WE as Americans…. Republican or democrat must learn from the destruction from this day in 2021.

Today is not a statue that can be torn down. Today isn’t a page we can rip out of a history book.

Today is just January 6th and in 2021 our Capitol was attacked. If you want to remember January 6th as “Us against Them” then you better remember what happened on August 24th, 1814…..

Stay Warm! Stay Positive! Stand together! Eat Pizza!

January 5th, 2022

 I think the best thing with the Covid numbers going up is we see less news stories of passenger violence on airplanes.

At least I haven’t seen any the last couple weeks.

I haven’t been on a plane in a few years, but I took the Metra into the city during the first ten months of Covid.

It DID piss me off when the same selfish assclowns sat in their same little seats without wearing masks.

We have all seen these guys! We know what towns they board the train in. Many of them had tassels on their loafers.

I’ll admit the thought crossed my mind that these guys needed a little coaxing. But it wasn’t my job and like the Princess in the winter movie sings…… Let it Go!

Crockpot weather is in full force! I think my old crock has one last season left…. This weekend I’m thinking chicken fajitas or pulled pork.

January 4th, 2022

 My generation is in the throes of the worst period of history in our lifetime.

Generation X was born during the Vietnam war. Our teeth were cutting during Watergate. Our Pubic hairs started growing during the Iranian Hostage Crisis.

When we finished school and started in the work force the Berlin Wall came Crashing down.

I can keep on going, but this post might look like I’m copying Billy Joel and we didn’t start the fire.

We’ve seen some horrible destruction these last several years.

So our job is to trudge through and bring the best we’ve got to the other side.

I sure as hell don’t know when we will see the other side, but I’m setting a goal.

My goal is the day when I’m putting potting soil in in the planters on my balcony.

I just typed that… looked up at it and thought…. That sounds fucking cheesy. But that’s what

I’m shooting for…. Springtime in Riverside!

When George starts calling me little darling and tells me the sun is coming… I’ll enter the age of creation.

“Springtime in Riverside!”

I think tonight I’m going to create some spaghetti. Do some laundry and lay low. Because this is the time of the year to lay low!

January 3rd, 2022

 The first Monday of 2022. The glow from the Christmas tree didn’t brighten my hallway this morning when I woke up. When I arrived at work the Christmas decorations were gone.

Time to get back to the grind.

You know the older I’ve gotten the less I wish. Seems like wishing only gets your hopes up.

I do wish I could win the lottery tonight, but that’s not likely.

So buckle up and let’s get this party started!

January 2nd, 2022

 I learned of the passing of a great man on a snowy wintry Saturday afternoon.

So I thought it fitting to quote a line from a Robert Frost poem that pulls nature and death together.

I haven’t seen Steve Ahlrichs in probably 30 years. We graduated high school together. Though it’s been since the Reagan years that our paths crossed I always had good memories of him.

The eight year period that I lived in Indianapolis was the worst time of my life. I didn’t belong there, it wasn’t my home. Though fortunately a few kind people befriended a trouble maker from Chicago. Steve was one of them.

Facebook, the evil end of the world brought us back into contact. It has brought me back with many of my Indianapolis friends….. and that’s a good thing.

I’m not going into the details of who this guy turned out to be… let’s just say he continued to be a kind and loving man. Just like the kid I met forty years ago at Dear Old Cathedral….

I just said yesterday on the Chalkboard that 2022 will bring the loss of loved ones… I didn’t think it would be so soon.

I’ll attach the whole poem below… a poem Steve and I read in John Young’s class many years ago.

Sleeping on the couch watching the Snow

 It’s 6:00am and I’ve been in this position since 10:00pm last night.

Sleeping between my legs is Hazel who wanted to sleep where she could watch the snow fall. The glow of the Christmas tree one last night was another factor.

Now I know the days are numbered where my baby girl will want to snuggle on the couch during a snowstorm…. During anything really. So I cherish this memory already.

However…. My legs have been bent like a Vice grip for eight hours. My ass has not shifted in eight hours. My shoulders….. and my back have been set in one place for eight hours…

After I hit the send button and you are reading this…. Put your coffee down!

I don’t want

You to spit it up all over the place….

I am going to attempt to kick my left leg over Hazel… try not to wake her…. “Daddy? Stay five more minutes!”

Five minutes I might not ever get again!

Anyway…. Back to my morning gymnastics….

I’m going to flip my leg over the top…. Slide my rear end (yes, my big ass) out from under Hazel’s pillow. I’m then going to plop to the floor using the ottoman to balance my numb lower body…

I’m going to do this without waking my daughter or my friends that live in the flat downstairs.

If you see me walking to the sledding hill today like an 85 year old man… it’s because I did what daddy’s do for their baby girls!

January 1st, 2022

 2022….. I Don’t have a New Years resolution. I’m not giving up anything or doing anything different.

I’m going to continue to watch my children grow. I’m going to continue my enthusiasm and strong work ethic at my job. I’m going to continue my French kissing and caressing. I’m still going to enjoy hot dogs, listening to my radio shows, rooting for the Sox and pushing my career in hip hop.

I know my car will probably break down. I know I’ll have a horseshit day at work. I know the Shepkids mom will want to battle. I know I’m going to take a wrong turn.

Like Tom Cruise said in “Risky Business”

“You know Bill… there’s one thing I’ve learned through all my years…. Sometimes you gotta say “What the Fuck”….. make your move!”

2022 might not be a great year, but it’s what faces us. Kick it’s ass, make love to it, smear mustard on it, dance horribly in it, sing off key during it, but most importantly…. Take one day at a time and don’t be a dick!

December 31st, 2021

 The last day of 2021…. It wasn’t

That bad of a year.

I didn’t

Really go anywhere.

I’m not sure I want to go anywhere in the coming year. I’m going into the New Year with caution.

I’m just going to make the world around me happier, fatter and sexier.

I’m not going to put ketchup on hot dogs and I’ll use my directional.

December 30th, 2021

 My oldman often said if things were easy everyone would be doing it.

He also said during the Archie Bunker age, “If life was easy Earth wouldn’t Be called ‘The World’ it would be called ‘The Poland.’”
I took the easy path many times and
It only
Led me
To a harder road.
Though when I put my life in a traffic jam the view wasn’t that bad.
The Silver Lining Lane.

Today’s quote is credited to Epicurus and I think he says the
more complex the task, the
greater the satisfaction that
awaits on the other side.
Friday night brings us to another other side.