It is the last Monday of the month and the first full week of autumn.
The leaves have lost their pillowy sound with every passing breeze. The autumn gust of air crackles across the tired tree pedals. The final hurrah of exploding colors before the autumn teardrops fall from their limbs.
The short pants drawer has become the sweater drawer. It’s time to prepare for the long winter nights.
Who am I bullshiting here?
I’m no Robert Frost, I’m more Mike Royko.
Get ready for slush and potholes. The White Sox are finishing their worst season as the Bears are beginning their path to last place. I’m ready for the Blackhawks to take the ice as they continue their era of mediocrity.
It’s time to beat the crap out of the crock pot. It’s time to go to Chernin's and pick out your new winter boots. Don’t forget to grab the ice scraper out of the hall closet and put it in your trunk.
The one thing that reminds me that Summer is over and winter is approaching happens on my bathroom shelf. The GoldBond gets replaced by the Vicks Vapor Rub. Just like my summer powder, I put that stinky goo all up and down my big body.
Under my nostrils, behind my earlobes, across my sternum, along the small of my back and on the bottom of my feet. Just make sure you have tube socks ready to wear.
Don’t worry, before you know it I’ll be talking about buying bug spray, sunscreen and more GoldBond. Until that lush spring day comes we will need to stack the firewood and find the rake.
Enjoy this last week of September and get your harvest into the barn.
…and for my Jewish Chalkheads. May today help you find peace and bring you closer together with Faith, Family and Friends.
Mazel Tov and may you be sealed in the book of life.
