July 13th, 2024

 I picked a heavy hitter of a quote for today’s Morning Chalkboard.

I’m not sure I want to get to deep this morning.

We make mistakes, we learn from them. Hopefully our mistakes aren’t costly or frequent.

Make a mistake and move the fuck on!

I can say with confidence that I haven’t suffered any great pains in my life.

My parents getting divorced sucked, but I gained more friends out of it. My Oldman stayed in Chicagoland, I’ve got a solid friend base in Illinois. My mom moved us to Indianapolis, I’ve got a solid friend base in the Hoosier State.

Winning!

I went through a divorce. I gained three kids and a mother-in-law out of the debacle and gained a new friend base in Riverside that I wouldn’t have had.

Winning!

Losing family, friends and colleagues to a final goodbye. I talk to them more since they went to heaven than when they were alive.

And I’ve gained a shit ton of Guardian Angels.

Winning!

My greatest strength is never letting my greatest pain derail the master plan.

That plan is simple…

Do gooder things, spread JumboLove and don’t be a jagoff!

It is going to be a hot Saturday in the city.

GoldBond up and be a gooder person and a bester friend today!

July 12th, 2024

 I woke up thinking today was Thursday, so I’m already ahead of the game.

Not much to say this morning.

You can see down in the Grabber section that we can talk about french fries.

If ketchup can go on anything, it would be french fries. My favorite fries are served in a greasy sack at Parky’s on Harlem Avenue on the Forest Park side of the street.

I also like chili poured over french fries. Sometimes country gravy smothered french fries are good.

They call a hot dog with fries on top a Depression Dog. Made famous at Gene and Jude’s.

McDonald’s makes the best in the fast food category, while Culver’s make the worst.

Waffle fries don’t fall into this category. Not a big fan of waffle fries.

I have a feeling half of you are thinking about hot, salty fries at some point today.

For those British Chalkheads…

…I’m talking about chips.

I was going to talk about how sexy french fries can be, but I don’t want to rile up the three woke Chalkheads that are chalking right now.

So the assignment for today is to get an order of french fries on a Friday.

Tell me where your favorite french fries can be found.

Go be astonished with french fries today and enjoy the smile shining down on you from the sun.

July 11th, 2024

 I sat in Ceres with a bunch of numbskulls and got shitfaced. It was an afternoon sometime in the late nineties. I had a date later that night with a girl that I had known since the mid-eighties.

I continued to drink martinis and smoke cigars with the guys from the trading floor when I knew I had a date later in the evening.

There came a point between drinks when I realized I was in no condition to make this date.

I didn’t show up and the rest is history. I never went on a date with that girl again.

Who knows what would have happened if I didn’t go down for that quick drink after work? Just one cocktail that turned into an epic session of Board of Trade debauchery.

I’ve made a habit of choosing curtain two when I originally picked curtain one. Making plans to do this and going off to do that.

I’ll never know what opportunities I missed out on because I didn’t show up.

Did I miss out on a job opportunity or a new friendship? Did I hurt a friendship or lose out on a relationship?

Some decisions that I’ve made could have changed the trajectory of my life. I’ll never know…

I can’t have regrets about it, because I did show up for the things that got me where I’m at today.

Hazel and I were watching the documentary on the the Veeck family last night. Today’s quote was something Bill Veeck told his son.

His son was the guy who pulled off “Disco Demolition” at Comiskey in 1979.

Was that a bad decision? It changed the trajectory of his life.

I might not own a dozen minor league baseball clubs, but I do have the Shepkids, a thirty-five year career, a nice home and a killer mode of transportation.

I got all of that by just showing up.

Hey….. good days, bad day!

We gotta get through them and tough it out.

Hindsight tells me I probably should have blown off my wedding.

But hindsight doesn’t tell me what the other outcome could have been.

We will never have the benefit of knowing what could have been…

…so never waste time thinking about “Could have.”

Alright, let’s turn off this Dr. Phil episode of the Morning Chalkboard and get back to some JumboLove.

I think today is a perfect day for a bowl of Gumbo with Jumbo. All we gotta do is show up.

One last thing…

Thank goodness the Pilgrims and Indians showed up for dinner. Their dinner date has given me my favorite holiday, which is one hundred and forty days away.

Okay Chalkheads… be like Marvin and let’s get it on.

July 10th, 2024

 I’m not sure why I picked this Billy Shakes quote for today’s Morning Chalkboard.

Suddenly it has given me writer’s block.

Ten days into July already and the Summer of ‘24 lacks gusto. There just isn’t any spark lighting up these midsummer days.

I really am in this go to work, be a dad, go to work, be a dad, go to work, be a dad rut.

I’m not bitching.

I could be in a I’m lonely, look for a job, I’m lonely, look for a job, I’m lonely, look for a job rut….

I think what I need is live music, a shade tree, a growler of Pilsner and an Alpine Sub.

I’m just rambling on here.

It’s Wednesday and the remnants of a hurricane will be passing through town today.

It’s also National Piña Colada Day.

I’m not a big piña colada guy. They remind me of that stupid song from 1979 and my honeymoon.

Drinking fruify drinks on a beach isn’t my idea of fun. Especially with these velvety hip hop thighs of mine. They don’t go well with coarse sand and sunburn.

Go enjoy your rainy Wednesday and find some gusto on a warm summer day.

As I finish today’s Chalkboard, I can hear “Summertime” playing from the radio in the kitchen.

Gershwin at the beginning of a summer day is a good start.

Bring on the Gusto…..

July 9th, 2024

 The other day a friend of mine told a lovely story about her father. She was replying to a story that I told on the Morning Chalkboard.

I came up with an idea for something that I want to add to this daily conversation that we have.

I call that section on the bottom right hand corner of the board, the Grabber Section. Its purpose is to grab your attention and add some extra color to the theme of the day.

Sometimes I’ll tell you if it is National “something or another” Day. Maybe it is International “this or that” Day.

My friend told a story about having applesauce and chocolate pudding with her father the night before he went to heaven.

I asked her what her Father’s name is and when he celebrated his birthday.

She told me and I came up with, “applesauce and chocolate pudding” Day. On August 24th, the Grabber section will announce this day. It will be special to my friend only, but since she is a part of our community, it will be special to us as well.

It isn’t a National or International Holiday… it is a Chalkboard Holiday.

So…..

This is a long term project that will take a couple years to make an impact on this daily therapeutic journey I’ve pursued.

With your help, with your stories, with the little things you post underneath the Chalkboard…

…I’m going to develop a calendar of events that will matter only to us. Our birthdays, our milestones, our triumphs and even our defeats.

Today is Tom Hanks’ Birthday. If he was a Chalkhead, we would be celebrating “see a mermaid” Day or “talking toy cowboy” Day.

I think December 5th was our buddy, John Wagner’s birthday. That will be “WagStrong” Day. That day will make twenty percent of the Chalkheads have a day that they can relate to.

In a couple years we will start recognizing the yearly events that means something special to just us.

If you told me about the time you barfed in a pool after too much Malort… it will be, “barf in a pool” Day.

If your mom called you “Pumpkinhead” when you were a kid. I’m going to ask you when your mom’s birthday was and make it “pumpkinhead” Day.

You are going to wonder what the next Chalkhead Holiday is everyday.

Something just for us, lived by us, cherished by us….

Today I marked the amount of days until the Bears first game in the Grabber. I could have made it, “Misery on the Midway” Day and all the Bear fans would know it’s the start of another mediocre season.

I will need your help and approval on this project.

My friend mentioned above, loved the idea and on August 24th she will wake up to a Morning Chalkboard that celebrates her Daddy’s Birfday,

“applesauce and chocolate pudding” day.

That day happens to be National Waffle Day, but Chalkheads will be celebrating with applesauce and chocolate pudding instead.

Alright…. Time to kickstart Tuesday. Looks like the remnants of that hurricane is coming up our way these next couple days.

I hope rain astonishes you.

July 8th, 2024

 On July 8th, John Shepley was asked to remove himself from his place of residence. That request came from his wife.

Today is my Felix Unger Day.

I look at today as a beginning more than an end.

I didn’t really become a man when my voice changed or when I grew pubes. I was still a boy when I bought my first legal Old Style at the tavern.

The two biggest days when I expanded into manhood was the day I became a dad and the day I became a divorced dad.

Today isn’t a milestone to celebrate. I’m not partying with Oscar Madison tonight and going out on the town.

July 8th will always be the beginning of a new chapter. A happier chapter filled with strong growth and positive expansion.

Today’s quote is from a little French guy that celebrated both victory and defeat many times in his career.

July 8th could have been a defeat, but I didn’t let that happen. I’m not going to mark it as a victory either.

It was the day when Mannheim Road became a divider. It was a day when the Shepkids stopped seeing their parents together.

To all of us that have a Felix Unger Day.

Always look on today as a new beginning and not a tragic ending.

Happy Monday, I’m not sure if you have noticed, but we are definitely moving away from five-fifteen sunrises and eight-thirty sunsets.

Shadows are slowly getting longer, but at least those fucking cicadas are gone.

You might have to put a smile on the sun yourself today.

Go be astonished and kick Monday’s ass.

July 7th, 2024

 I think the common fear among people in my age group is dying alone.

Both of my parents died alone. I’ve Chalked about their last moments and how I didn’t or couldn’t make it to be there.

The last thing my mom said to me was on the telephone…

…”Please don’t drive like a madman down I-65!”

My dad was on an iPad during Covid and with tubes in his nose he yelled at me….

…”I Love You... you magnificent son of a bitch!”

I don’t fear how I die. I just need someone to be there with me.

Selfishly, I’d like to have a quick ending. Though, when someone dies suddenly, they leave a large wake of grief.

When someone draws out their illness over a long time, the survivors are more relieved and the grief is lessened.

I’d like to have the gift of knowing when I die.

Did you ever see the movie “Bigfish” by Tim Burton out of 2003?

The main character looks into a witches eye when he was a kid and sees how his life ends. For the rest of his life he could take chances and live on the edge because he knew when and how he was going to die.

It’s a fun movie and a good book by Daniel Wallace. Consider it suggested for your next summer read.

Before the Shepkids watched that movie, I told them there was a witch in my neighborhood and I looked into her eye.

I told them that I die in my late eighties on Thanksgiving Day. I’m sitting in a La-Z-boy over by Hazel’s house watching the Bears game with her husband and all of the ShepGrandKids. Detroit ends up winning the football game. I end up falling asleep in the third quarter and didn’t see the end of my final Bears game.

Then my grandson, John, leans over and tells his Uncle Fritz that Grampa Jumbo is dead. Uncle Fritz tells John to wait until after dinner to tell everyone.

“Let’s tell them that Grampa wasn’t hungry and was taking a nap.”

That fun little JumboFable came to a screeching halt when we finally streamed "BigFish" about a year ago.

George blamed me for plagiarism.

Today’s quote says that courage is knowing what not to fear. Then my Chalkboard advice is not to waste time being fearful. You can’t sweat the little things and you sure as hell can’t stop big things from occurring.

Our Latin term today in the Grabber section means, “He conquers who conquers himself.”

Let’s end this Chalkboard…

….Don’t conquer yourself with fear!

Sunday Funday, it is the 7th day in July. The sun has a smile and the world is out there to astonish you.

You can either attack the day with gusto or sit back and watch shit do stuff.

Either way, just be happy and be kind to everyone….

…. even the assclowns

July 6th, 2024

 I took the pleasure of using a little creative or poetic license this morning. This is the week we celebrate freedom, so I took some artistic freedom.

The quote today is from a guy named Dali Lama. Dali might be one helluva guy, but he probably didn’t know it. You’re right, I added the ‘helluva’ part.

I also don’t think Mr. Lama ever watched the Spike Lee film, “Mo’ Betta Blues” from 1990. If he would have, he would know that life would be of higher quality when you add a little ‘mo’ betta’ into it.

The Dali kept today’s quote simple.

“Choose to be optimistic, it feels better.”

Now that is one solid quote, but it needed some JumboLove. As you will see on the July 6th Morning Chalkboard.

Speaking of July 6th, today has a national day and an international day.

In the United States of America, we celebrate National Fried Chicken Day. My opinion is that real fried chicken has a bone in it. Anything without a bone is processed crap made outside of Scranton, Pennsylvania.

Since Aretha Franklin closed her Soul Food restaurant on Maxwell Street, my favorite fried chicken joint these days is in the old Parky’s on Roosevelt Road across from The Jewels…. The Berwyn Chicken Company.

On the worldwide scene, it is International Kissing Day.

Do you remember that first deep mouth kiss? Mine ranks right behind seeing Walter Payton score a touchdown for the first time.

Do you remember the first kiss with someone that you fell in love with? The tingling sensation from your toes, through your rectum, up your spine and across your forehead.

Hard to match that feeling!

I’m going to take one more shot at creative freedom.

It was Alfred Lord Tennyson that said, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

For me it is, “Tis better to have kissed that hot mommy than to be pissed at yourself for just saying goodnight.”

Today, get yourself a bucket of fried chicken. Split it with someone that you like to kiss and celebrate both nationally and internationally…

… and be astonished!

Astonishment makes life a Helluva lot Mo’ Betta.

July 5th, 2024

We are over the Fourth of July hump. Summer is in full swing, the cicadas are history and the White Sox are mathematically eliminated from playoff contention through 2031.

I’m sitting here asking myself, “What is next?”

What am I going to do with these next fifty-nine days until Labor Day?

Go to work, be a dad, go to work, be a dad, go to work, be a dad, go to work, be a dad, Go to work, be a dad, go to work, be a dad, go to work, be a dad, go to work, be a dad.

Sounds like July is going to be one helluva month.

I didn’t get a pool pass this year. The Shepkids are too old to go to the pool with their dad. I might not get my Zoo Pass this year when it expires. The Shepkids seem to be too old to go to the zoo with their dad as well.

Too old to go to a parade with dad. Too embarrassed to go to a concert in the park with dad. I can’t help it if the band plays songs that I can sing along to.

Sing with me Hazel, “She loves to laugh, She loves to sing, She does everything, She loves to move, She loves to groove, She loves the lovin' things….”

“Please stop dad! O, M, G!”

“What about you Fritz?”

At least I got a smile out of Fritz. He even put a fake microphone in front of my mouth.

“You're tearin' me apart

Every, every day

You're tearin' me apart

Oh what can I say?

You're tearin' me apart!”

But he quickly ripped it away at the “Lovin', touchin', squeezin' each other” part of the song.

I don’t remember my Oldman belting out songs at a Fourth of July concert. Though he loved singing songs from “Fiddler on the Roof” when we drove through the Jewish cemeteries on DesPlaines Road.

A tradition that I have continued into this next generation.

The other day when George and I were driving home from the Golden Steer…

… we both sang a solid rendition of “Sunrise, Sunset” followed by “Tradition” and “If I were a Rich Man!”

If being a good father means being able to sing a Broadway show tune or a rock song from forty years ago…

…then I’m a good father!

When Hazel first learned to walk, she went straight into the Friday night dance party scene with her DaDa. We would groove to V103 as we transformed the living room into a house music warehouse.

Those days are long gone!

I tried recently to recreate a Friday night dance party. She went and locked herself in the room. I was left all alone to jam with Freddie Knuckles and Maurice Culpepper.

At least after I’m dead and gone…

…the Shepkids will be able to say, “Dad danced like nobody was watching and sang like nobody was listening.”

Because everyone locked themselves in their rooms or walked to the other side of the street.

It is the first weekend of July!

Eat messy barbecue, watch crappy baseball, sing with the windows down, move the couch out of the way and Travolta…

… and tell someone that you love them. 

July 4th, 2024

 It is four hours later than I usually chalk this morning.

I stayed up late last night and listened to a rock and roll band playing on the village green.

All I’m going to do today is celebrate my country tis of thee!

…and be astonished and hope my routine doesn’t get too jagged up!