My Oldman had this saying, “The truth is faster.” I had a stage when I lied, but Don Shepley made sure it didn’t last very long.
He had another saying after I lied to him.
“You talk like a man with a paper asshole!”
For years I never knew what the hell he meant by that phrase. I finally figured it out in my early twenties.
It basically means someone is so full of shit, they have to constantly wipe their ass with toilet paper.
I currently have a child in the liar stage and she isn’t very good at it. Her brothers haven’t forgotten that the truth is faster, but she sure has.
Now I can take the low road and start blaming someone for teaching this one Shepkid that it’s alright to lie, but I won’t.
My dad had one more line that he used during my stage as a liar.
He told me liars end up being by themselves. They end up sitting on the couch every night with a bottle or two of wine. Liars end up blaming everyone else for their problems while they continue to live in the past. After a liar has lied to the last person, all they have left to lie to is themselves. They live a lonely life of lies.
That statement had a heavy impact on me forty-five years ago. I hope it had a heavy impact on the Shepkid that heard it yesterday afternoon.
Today is Columbus Day. Since I don’t know any Indians and a huge chunk of my friend base is Italian-American….
…Enjoy your day Paisans, I hope you get your statues back.
To any Native Americans that might be reading the Morning Chalkboard. I hope Cleveland and Washington someday return back to using your names for their sports teams.
I’m just kidding, just kidding!
Just being a Monday morning jagoff talking like a man with a paper asshole.
Stay clear of jagoffs and be astonished
