There was a shit ton of Jews working on the trading floor back in the day. It was noticeable on Yom Kippur when they were gone.
Yom Kippur is their holiest of all days. It is the day of atonement. My Oldman explained to me when I was a kid that it was like going to confession all day long. Catholics had to go confess anytime they sinned. Jews only had to go once a year and they didn’t have to say twenty Hail Mary’s when they got home.
When the Jews would return to the pits the next day, we’d tell them about the kegs that we had placed around the floor. We had sexy girls walking around handing out sandwiches and appetizers.
I took it even farther and told my Jewish buddies that “Kool and the Gang” set up a stage next to the bond option pit.
It’s going to be a slow trading day with all the Jews gone, let’s have a good time and celebrate.
Kegs in every pit, dessert tables, mini bars, sculptured ice and the Rockettes dancing around handing out Polish sausage sandwiches.
I fucking loved Yom Kippur at the Chicago Board of Trade. It was like that Eddie Murphy skit on SNL when he became white for a day.
Schlomo, Ari, David, Ira and Adam all knew that we took the liberty of bullshitting them. I miss those fucking guys.
Trading slowly faded away on the floor and like a canary in the coal mine, the Jews slowly disappeared.
I look back at the last day we traded at the Chicago Board of Trade, March 13th in 2020. The floor was going to close for a couple weeks for Covid, but it never opened back up.
We should have had a keg and a smorgasbord that day, but everyone was paranoid about this China flu thing that was closing everything down.
I wish my Jewish friends a peaceful and healthy Day of Atonement.
May we all be astonished and atoned today… Shana Tovah
