Sunday, November 12, 2023

November 12th, 2023

      I was sitting next to the guy whose daughter I was engaged to marry later in the year. We were watching the SuperBowl when a commercial for Cialis came on late in the game.

By this time in the evening we both had enjoyed a couple cocktails. When during the add for erectile dysfunction the narrator said, “You should call your physician if you experience an erection that lasts longer than three hours.”
That is when I blurt out….
“A physician! You should call an escort service!!!”
I saw the words floating out of my mouth and across the family room. Drifting over the guacamole in slow motion….
“Eeeessscccooooort seeeerviiiiiiicceeee……..”
I’m going to marry this guy’s daughter in the fall and here I am thinking about hookers and boner pills?
The reaction I was about to receive was a kick in the ass and the old “you’re out of here Boner Boy.”
When suddenly the future father in law replies with a chuckle,
"…Escort service! That is a good one Big John.”
No blood, no foul… I am off to live another day.
Eight months later I marry this guys daughter and the rest is history.
Yesterday I was over at his house with the Shepkids. Fritz was in the sunroom watching television. George was In the basement chilling out. Hazel and I were outside putting all the summer stuff in the yard and on the patio away for the winter. The same chores I did twice a year for many years at the beginning of the Millennium.
We were all there to create activity and put some life in the house. While we were doing these things, my mother in law (not former; I didn’t divorce her) was talking with an associate from the funeral home. Earlier in the morning her husband left Hinsdale for heaven.
All those years I would tell the Shepkids to keep the noise down and now here we were bringing noise. We came to distract their mom’s mom on a painful day.
I never pictured after my divorce that I would be back at a happy place from my marriage putting the hose carts and flower pots away for the winter.
…and doing it on the day my father In law (not former; I didn’t divorce him) passed away.
Earlier that day the Shepkids found out PopPop won’t be around to see them graduate from high school and college. Hazel’s eyes welled up with tears. Fritz’s chin fell to his sternum and George ran into his room. They lost their first relative that had been in their life since day one.
George and Pop went out every Saturday together. If Pop was picking George up at 9:30, he’d pull up at 9:25.
I will never again yell, “George!!! Let’s go, let’s go… on the hop! PopPop is waiting!”
At one point yesterday, Fritz turned to me and said, “Dad…. Last Christmas when PopPop was sitting here, it was his last Christmas ?!?!?”
“Yes son… it was the last Christmas with Pop.”
In his nonchalant way Fritz plainly said, “I didn’t see that coming dad.”
“No shit Fritz, no shit. That is why you must learn to cherish every moment, every day of your life.”
These last couple of years I’ve become close with my in laws again. Things didn’t work out as planned, but that is how life rolls.
I’ve lost my father In law twice now. The first time was nonsensical. The second time is vexatious.
Heaven is closer than Hinsdale. God Bless Pop…. You just went from a twenty six handicap to a scratch golfer. Until we meet again, thanks for laughing during that Cialis commercial.

Today’s quote is from “Alice in Wonderland.” PopPop always said these lines to his grandchildren when they were sleeping on his belly.
He was a fantastic PopPop…
“The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--And whether pigs have wings."

Sunday Funday you beautiful Chalkheads. No horrible Bear game to waste the day this afternoon. Go be with someone special. You never know if this is your last November 12th together.