It was fun listening to the plans the guys at work had for the Mega Million money.
Boats, baseball teams, cabins, farms, vacations……
I kept my mouth shut and just listened to my work friends. Twenty people assured that they were splitting one billion dollars this weekend.
I always say the odds are better that I’ll bang Julia Roberts before ever winning a big lottery drawing.
I mean they really are….
…. Winning the Mega Millions has a 1 in 303 million odds. The odds of Julia Roberts and Jumbo becoming lovers… 12 to 1.
Just think about it for a minute.
Julia is filming a movie in Chicago. Her limousine drives in front of the Board of Trade right when I’m leaving.
“Driver! Stop! Pull the limo next to that man with that big beautiful booty!”
Next thing you know my trading jacket is balled up in a corner of a fancy hotel and I’m sitting in a bubble bath with a pretty woman eating Mystic pizza.
Anyway… no glazed donuts with Julia and I’m going back to work on Monday.
I’ll tell you what I’d do if I won….
I’d build a Vocational Rugby Academy on the Southside and another on the Westside.
We would teach young Chicago men and women how to scrum, ruck and maul. It would be a school that would educate their students in welding, plumbing, web design, carpentry, construction management, pipe-fitting and electrician work.
"Chicago Rugby Academy" Home of the Warriors. An Indian would be our mascot and success and support would be our goal.
That’s all I’d want…
No Julia Roberts pubes on the roof of my mouth!
Just kids with no future suddenly playing rugby and fixing shitters…
That’s my lottery dream!
…And I’d live in the Edgewater Beach Apartments.
Last weekend of July… the days are getting shorter, but the first week of August brings a heatwave!
Go to Walgreens this weekend and get a fresh bottle of GoldBond.
