November 8th, 2024

 I’m sitting here on a Friday morning with a quote about history. I have several different ideas that I can run with, but they all seem long winded and generic.

So I’m going to tell you about the window next to my bed that I left open overnight.

The air was still throughout my sleep, so the curtains laid flat along the wall. I have a wind chime that hangs from the curtain rod that hammers out melodies when the wind blows across the room. They were silent last night.

Though earlier this week they banged fiercely and the curtains flapped furiously.

The calmness of the Friday morning air allowed a softness completely opposite of the cacophony earlier in the week.

Freight trains rumbled on their distant tracks. Brutus and Titus, my lion neighbors across the river bellowed to remind the neighborhood who the kings of the jungle are. I heard a flock of geese fly low over the trees quacking directions and coordinates to each other.

The feral cats that live on the block had a fight club session down the alley and the occasional ambulance screamed between a tragedy and the emergency room.

The smell of autumn quiffed through the opened window. The rotting leaves chilled by the clear sky left an autumn potpourri to my sleep.

The weight of the extra blanket added to the enjoyment as my head rested on the cold pillows.

The moon settled long ago leaving a dark stage for the stars to feast upon. They shine with a pinpoint glow along the distance. Mars and Jupiter stand out amongst the crowded celestial pastures.

I could lay here with the chill in the air and the calmness of the morning, but the market is chiming from my computer in the other room.

Time to kick start Friday and try and make a living. I’m doing the best I can.

Enjoy your early November weekend. Pull on your favorite sweater and kick the leaves strewn across the sidewalk.

It’s a crockpot weekend full of football and rugby. Fire pits and bourbon. Knee high socks and worn out sweatshirts. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll hear someone say, “I love you.”

Be true to your school and go search for astonishment

November 7th, 2024

 How is everyone doing out there?

My mom was sitting at the kitchen table smoking a cigarette and looking very distraught. Ronald Reagan had just defeated Jimmy Carter in the 1980 Presidential Election.

I was a freshman in high school dealing with all the bullshit that a fourteen year old already has in life.

Not knowing I was about to deal with another problem.

My mother was under the impression that I will be drafted and sent to war because of the looming Ronald Reagan Presidency. Ronald Reagan was going to send her baby boy off to iran in four years.

My eighteenth birthday came and went. I registered for the draft. Ronald Reagan was elected to a second term. A term that I can proudly say I voted for. That second term ended and I never was drafted and sent off to war.

Reagan came and went.

Clinton came and went.

Both the Bush’s came and went.

Obama came and went.

The one thing that made it through all of these mediocre presidential terms is America…

….and me and you

Everything is going to be alright. We live during a footnote in history. So did our parents and so did their parents.

There will always be a sunrise and sunset time on the bottom left hand side of the Morning Chalkboard.

In fact there has been 16,074 sunrises and sunsets since that day my mom was hysterical during my freshman year.

The one consistent thing throughout our entire life has been each other. We have had each other during all of these horseshit presidencies and we will continue to have each other for the next four years.

When I get up in the morning, the sky is at its darkest point. Especially this week with a very faint moon wisping across it.

The stars shine bright across the tenebrous skies. The dim of the Riverside streetlights give way to the calming glitter sprinkled above my life.

If my mom would have wiped her tears and finished her cigarette in the backyard back in 1980, she would have seen those same stars.

Good things are all around no matter who the President of the United States is.

Aw shucks…. The smile is on the sun and today will be full of astonishment

November 6th, 2024

 It is 3:30 in the morning… I haven’t turned on any news or looked at the markets yet.

I don’t know what the outcome of the election is, but I know a group of my friends is distraught and the other is jubilant.

I can really give a flying fuck who the President will be in January.

As long as God doesn’t pull the plug on JumboLove… I’m still on a mission.

The mission is to continue to have straight F’s in life…..

FOUNDATION: FAITH, FAMILY and FRIENDS

That’s my responsibility and not Trump’s or Kamala’s….

Keep your toilets cleaned and dust off the top of those pictures in the living room. Keep up on oil changes and wear comfortable shoes.

Stay calm when you come across a tangled strand of Christmas lights and if a child hands you a toy phone…

… take the call and tell Santa what you want for Christmas.

It’s Wednesday already and the fun aisle at Aldis has new stuff. Please tell me you know about the Fun Aisle at Aldis!

Go check it out, but do it today, tomorrow or Friday. The cool stuff is gone by the weekend…

Shake off your losses and be astonished

November 5th, 2024

The day has come to vote for the next President of the United States. For me it is just a rainy November day. Sure, I’m going to vote, but the results are not going to end my world.

I’m going to do it all over again in four years.

I had some stupid shit pop up yesterday. We’ve all had that kind of day when something unplanned pops up that takes your attention away from the routine.

“Some stupid shit”

I even left work early yesterday to attend to the some stupid shit. I never leave work early, but I did yesterday.

You want to know something about some stupid shit. Most of the time it works itself out right before more some stupid shit appears at your door.

We are always going to have some stupid shit getting in the way of our daily routine. It will never stop coming!

Some stupid shit can be as serious as going through cancer. That is some “serious” stupid shit. A few of you Chalkheads are going through it right now.

Sometimes I’ll blurt it out when I’m praying, “Heavenly Father, I need your help with some serious stupid shit going on with my friend Bartholomew….”

I don’t have a friend named Bartholomew. I’m keeping anonymity for my friends going through some serious stupid shit right now.

I also know this… my parents went through some serious stupid shit. They’re dead now and you can’t take any of the some stupid shit to heaven.

Today we are going to vote for some stupid shit. In four years, we are going to vote again… for more some stupid shit.

Most of the time, some stupid shit shows up because of previous some stupid shit.

Fortunately we have our Faith, our Family and our Friends to help us get through the some stupid shit.

Lets worry less about the some stupid shit and try to be more astonished

November 4th, 2024

 I don’t ever want to hear someone gleefully say that we gained an hour of sleep Saturday night. Fritz was happy that he got an extra hour in Riverside this weekend.

We didn’t get an extra hour of nothing!

Nothing!

We’ve gotten eight weeks of four-thirty sunsets.

I slept like a turd last night and why in living hell is it humid in early November?

I peeled myself off of the clean sheets like an American cheese wrapper.

Enough bitching and moaning about the clocks going back an hour.

….and I won’t start bitching about the Chicago Bears this morning.

What is there to bitch about?

My baseball team lost 121 games last summer. I’m use to mediocre sports in my life.

Let’s get through election week without arguing with family and friends. Save it for the Thanksgiving table.

There will still be guns and there will still be abortions in 2025. It’s up to Chalkhead Nation to bring Peace, Love and Soul into the next year and well into the remainder of the chaotic 2020’s.

I think it’s probably going to be a rainy, crappy day. Keep your windshield clean and use the fog line when bright lights shine in your eyes.

Pretend that I drew a smile on the sun today and let raindrops astonish your heart

November 3rd, 2024

 The day has come that many of us have dreaded. The clocks have fallen back into winter formation. The days are getting shorter and forget about seeing how long your shadow is.

Get the afghans out of the box in the hall closet and get the Netflix app updated.

We will not have a sunset after five o’clock until the end of January, January 28th to be exact. Clocks will spring forward on March 9th of next year.

There are two reasons why I don’t like it being dark at four-thirty in the afternoon.

One, I have become my Oldman. I hate driving at night. Especially with all these shitty ass cars with the LED lights that shine up in my eyes and not down on the fucking potholes.

Betty the Green Blazer doesn’t have disco lights all around her body or high beams flashing at oncoming traffic. Her lights are a golden hue that makes the road feel nostalgic. The street feels all warm and fuzzy when Betty’s soft glow touches the curbs.

Two, I like to have my evening cocktail on the balcony in the “evening” and not in the afternoon when the kids are walking home from school.

I enjoy saying hello to the neighbors during their evening strolls or when they are taking Fido and Francesca for a walk.

Now I won’t see Gladys walking her shiatsu until February. When I do see Gladys, she’ll be bundled in a ski parka. I will long for the warmth of summer when Gladys is wearing a summer dress that flows gently in the breeze.

As for today’s quote…

Yesterday I took Fritz to Oakbrook mall for a new pair of shoes. I don’t really do Oakbrook Mall very often. It makes me feel like a turd in a milk bowl.

We are leaving Nordstrom and a hot mommy is walking in. I step back to see if Fritz will hold the door open for her. HE DID and I was very proud of him. It also gave me a clear shot at checking out the texture of the yoga pants the nice Clarendon Hills lady was modeling for me.

You are wondering how this story fits to the quote?

Well, I’m planting seeds into a young gentleman who will be kind and not a heartbreaking Jagoff.

If Hazel would have been there instead of Fritz. I would have held the door open for Karen and my eyes would have been glued to the ceiling.

Thank goodness I had Fritz, because those Pilates classes are working wonderfully for mummy.

And this is probably the reason why I’ll be nestled under my afghan watching “Peaky Blinders” alone until March 9th.

The first Sunday Funday in November. Election Day is Tuesday and the Second Civil War begins on Wednesday.

It’s supposed to be a cloudy day with a chance for rain. The perfect opportunity to watch shit do stuff.

If you plan on watching shit do stuff, try and be astonished

November 2nd, 2024

 The youngest sister worked for the pharmacy that my dad had his prescriptions at in Oak Park. She would drop my dad’s insulin off every once and awhile and my dad would make me answer the door. I flirted with her and we became friends. I would see her and her other sister occasionally in the neighborhood. They both started working at Fitzgerald’s Nightclub and I’d see them all the time.

They were in Shanahan’s for dinner with their parents and their oldest sister one night. It was the first time I met the oldest sister. She had a serious look on her face and talked in short sentences. The oldest sister didn’t seem as fun as her two younger sisters. As time went on the oldest sister got to know me and we became friends.

I’d run into the three sisters often in the neighborhood. More so the middle sister because she worked near the Board of Trade and was in the trading industry.

The three sisters were devoted to each other and were thick as thieves. Maybe that isn’t the correct phrase, because they were always giving, unlike a thief… so maybe I’ll just say they were arm in arm or hand in hand. They were rarely apart and always surrounded by incredible friends.

They traveled the world together and met friends along the way. They would go to New Orleans every year for Jazz Fest and could be seen at Wrigley in Cubby Blue from head to toe.

I ran into the three sisters on the day my ex-wife and I decided to separate and probably end our marriage. It was on my fifty-first birthday at the Fitzgerald’s American Music Festival. They knew something was going on from my unusual mood. I wasn’t the gregarious guy that day.

The serious sister took me to the side and asked me what was wrong. I told her my story and then she told her two younger sisters my predicament. A week later I was living on the top floor of their three flat in Riverside. The three sisters welcomed me with open arms and took care of me when I was trading on the lows of life.

The oldest sister would often stop me in the hallway, she lived on the first floor. She always made sure my spirits were high and that I was okay. The Shepkid’s birthdays all fell within the first six weeks that I lived in the three sisters’ building. They made sure the kids had a birthday cake at dad’s house and every year they dropped off Christmas presents.

This week on Halloween, the Oldest Sister went to heaven to see her parents. She had fallen sick around Labor Day and was in the hospital ever since. The Three Flat became quiet the entire time. The curtains on their balcony windows were shut throughout September and October. The two younger sisters were never home because they were constantly at the bedside of their older sister. Remember, they were never apart.

Until now.....

My three flat has a void that will never be filled. If you know the two younger sisters that took care of me when I was low, please give them some love while they are on their lows.

We meet people for a reason. Sometimes we never find out why, but I did. It all started in the 1980’s when the delivery girl from Sear’s Pharmacy brought my dad his prescription. I would never be able to hear the lions roar from my balcony if it wasn’t for the Three Sisters.

Rest in Eternal Peace Dear E. Ryan

November 1st, 2024

 November has arrived…

Standing out on the balcony in that wind storm waiting for trick or treaters wore me out.

Enjoy every bite that you take and don’t stop being astonished

A Halloween Story

 Years ago, when I lived in Camelot on the other side of Mannheim Rd, I set up a table in my garage on Halloween and served hot dogs to the kids in the neighborhood. The kids were actually delighted to get a hotdog and the parents were happy that their child ate something of substance to go along with all the candy.

Everyone knew the guy who made hot dogs in his garage from the White Sox commercial that aired on WGN the previous summer. So, we had a pretty good crowd all afternoon waiting for hot dogs on the neighborhood trick or treat route. The Shepkids were still young, they loved having everyone gathering in their garage dressed up for Halloweenie.

The sunset came quickly and the crowd began to disperse. My son George stuck around to help me clean up the garage and put things away. We didn't think we'd have any more trick or treaters that night, but before we lowered the garage door we saw one more coming our way.

It was a father who looked like he had a long day at work and hurried home to take his daughter trick or treating before the night was through. The little girl was about four years old and she was dressed like a puppy. She told me that she picked out her costume because it looked like the puppy that she wanted to have some day. Her father, with a slight hint of hopefulness in his voice promised her that someday she would get that puppy. He looked exhausted and his clothing hung loosely from his thin body. To me he looked down and out, but was putting out a huge effort to make trick or treating more special for his daughter.

I told the dad that I had been cooking hotdogs all afternoon for the neighborhood kids. I asked him if he wanted a couple for him and his daughter. He noticed that everything was packed away and didn’t want us to bother.

George told him that I made the best hotdogs and I told him to hold on. We invited the daddy and daughter into the garage. George gave the little girl a juice box and I offered dad a bottle of Old Style. The depleted dad told me that he had just gone through a divorce and he was happy that his ex-wife let him take their daughter out for Halloween.

My wife popped her head out to see why George and I hadn’t finished closing shop yet. I told her we had one more guest and we would come in shortly.

I’m glad we waited around for that last Halloween visit. I didn’t know at the time that this guy was foreshadowing my future. All I know is we helped a distraught man make Halloween better for him and his little girl.

Tonight, I stood out on the balcony waiting for one more trick or treater before the sun packed it in for the night. I’m glad I waited around for that last Halloween visit. It wasn’t from a divorced dad and his daughter. It was a quick glimpse of the sun hitting the clouds just right. Just right to remind me how beautiful the world is and how we are all here to make it Mo Betta' for each other.

Happy Halloween

October 31st, 2024

 I’ve been around the block a few times and on the way I studied at the University of Hard Knocks.

How often have we heard or said that line?

The only thing about today’s quote that I don’t like is the use of the word “old.”

I’d rather use the word “older” instead. I don’t want to get old, but I don’t mind getting older. People that get old sit in the corner. People who are getting older are living life with Gusto.

Happy Halloween!

October 30th, 2024

 I woke up to the curtain next to my bed blowing across my face. Scared me shitless…

Day two of the warm windy weather gives us the last tease of summer before we change the clocks this weekend.

I don’t like four-thirty sunsets.

The last Humpday of October has arrived and Election Day is less than a week away.

More importantly, let’s not forget that Hanukkah and Christmas fall on the same day. The big winners this year are the families that have both a Tree and a Menorah.

It’s going to be a Mazel Tov Christmas. Harry Hanukkah and Santa Claus should buddy up and give each other a hand.

Let’s get through Halloween and Thanksgiving first.

If there are any hot mommies that still have their Catholic school uniforms…. I give out full size candy bars for trick or treat!

Enjoy this warm Wednesday and try not to blow away in the firm breeze.

October 29th, 2024

 The next couple days are going to be windy and warm. Add on the fact that Chicagoland has had a dry summer and autumn with very little rain. Sounds like October of 1871 all over again.

The Great Chicago Fire of 1871 killed close to four hundred people, left 120,000 homeless and destroyed four square miles of the city. Albeit, most of the area was filled with wooden structures with tar roofs, perfect kindling for a fire storm. That has all been replaced by buildings built under strict fire codes.

Chicago rose from the ashes and became home for horrible sports franchises.

Oh, wait, I’m sorry… I’m still bitter over the 121 losses my baseball team had over the summer and a “Hail Mary” pass over the weekend.

Let’s not blow away here in the middle of the week. Tie down the children and put away the lawn furniture.

The small wind chime in my bedroom window had a busy night.

I drew the wind sperms up on the Morning Chalkboard and I’ll probably do it again tomorrow.

Look at the number eighty sitting on the top right corner like a couple eggs ready to become impregnated.

Windy and warm on the last Tuesday of the month.

Let your hair violently blow in the breeze and be astonished

October 28th, 2024

 I watched a short clip of Coach Corso with players from the 1979 Holiday Bowl team. They all credited their success in life to the mentorship from the coach.

Today’s quote was something Coach pounded into his Hoosiers day after day.

It sure as hell is a good way to live life.

Let’s finish the month of October strong. Give it all that you have and reap the reward as you go. When we were kids we worked for a better future. Now that the future is here, the benefits of hard work immediately appear.

The pain, the passion, the love, the sorrow are all daily reminders of how we’ve been living our life.

Do it right now before it is gone forever. Each day we live gets us closer to forever.

It’s Monday, it’s National Chocolate Day and the weather is a final postcard for autumnal beauty.

Give today everything you have and remember to be astonished

October 27th, 2024

 I usually mention the Bears on game day in the grabber section of The Morning Chalkboard.

I skipped that this week and wrote down “Be Grateful” instead. I put it there so one of my Shepkids sees it when she wakes up this morning.

We are going to nip this one in the ass real quick. I’m not sending someone into the world that looks a gift horse in the mouth.

“Noli equi dentes inspicere donati.”

Now for the quote on The Chalkboard this morning. A solid message from Freddy D that is from his hard to read book “Crime and Punishment.”

I’m not getting deep on a Sunday morning about grief and how to deal with it. We all have a different filtering system when it comes to sorrow and sadness.

Some turn to God, some the bottle, some of us run, play rugby, sing, join clubs, write or read. We all try and immerse ourselves into anything that can make life better.

I have a telephone in my living room that is shaped like a Football with a New Orleans Saints logo emblazed on the side. I use that unplugged phone to call my family and friends up in heaven.

In fact I talked with my dad last night after everyone went to sleep. I asked him if he saw the temper tantrum at my dining room table earlier in the evening. He saw it, so did my Ma, my grandparents, my father in law and Uncle Charlie.

The general consensus was that I handled it well and heaven approves of my parental instincts.

Grief and gratefulness on the Morning Chalkboard. Two subjects worth tackling on the last Sunday of October.

Let’s have less of the former and more of the latter.

My weather guy said it’s going to be overcast today. Fuck him, I put the smile on the sun anyway.

Be astonished and Bear Down.

October 26th, 2024

 The quote today is from a Greek stoic philosopher by the name of Epictetus. The finest example for this quote was a running back we had in Chicago when I was growing up.

He played on a horseshit team for the first nine seasons of his career. When I say horseshit, I mean a lackluster, not a very talented group of football players.

The only bright spot on those teams was the running back. He could run, block, pass and hit. He brought the best out of his teammates, especially the horseshit guys.

Even though this team had more defeats than wins, this one player never quit. He never felt sorry for himself. He never laid blame on others and he never stopped working hard.

He showed up for a game with the flu and a one hundred and one degree fever…

…he ran for 275 yards that day. He set a record that stood for over twenty years.

He never quit on his teammates, his organization or his city.

This running back gave an example to all of his young fans. Never quit, always work hard and don’t let anyone down.

He finally played on a couple winning teams at the end of his career. His hard work and consistent drive to push himself paid off.

In the grabber section is a term I learned from rugby. Sweep the shed means to pay attention to detail. It means to take care of your surroundings, leave it better than it was when you arrived.

The little things in life.

When you go to a movie, do you leave your popcorn box on the floor near your seat or do you throw it away in the garbage can by the exit?

When you leave sweat on the incline bench at the gym, do you wipe it off with a towel or leave your perspiration for the next person to clean?

Sweep the shed….

Today’s Morning Chalkboard is telling us to take care of business and never quit.

The last Saturday of October…

…run like Sweetness and be astonished

October 25th, 2024

 I think I’m going to sit here and listen to the rain tapping on the gutter. The thunder, the wind and the lightning are putting together an incredible show this morning.

It is Friday and I have the taste for tartar sauce. Do you have a favorite fish fry that you go to?

Enjoy the morning rainstorm Chicagoland. We haven’t had a good one in months.

It’s the last weekend of October, be astonished

October 24th, 2024

 Every sunrise gives you another start. Every morning I erase the chalk from the previous day and do it all over again.

My work phone chirped at 1:15 this morning and I woke up suddenly and I woke up pissed. I was even more pissed when I realized it wasn’t important.

But….. the anger went away when I turned and looked out my bedroom window. Sitting there in plain view was the wanning gibbous angle of the rising moon. Just recently rising over the eastern horizon waiting for me to enjoy the glow.

It was like the moon prank called me to wake up and check her out. The timing of the wake up call was impeccable.

Seeing the moon seems to always make me happy. Unfortunately I tossed and turned for the remainder of the night. I’d have a dream and wake up. Have another dream and wake up. All the way to the alarm at 3:33am.

Yeah… my weekday alarm goes off at 3:33am, not 3:30, not 3:45, but at 3:33am.

It’s an Angel Number. I have three kids to wake up for and then there is the Trinity. So I wake up at 3:33 Monday thru Friday.

Not today though…

…today I woke up around 1:15 because an app on my phone restarted.

Fucking technology

I long for the days when I had to flip the cassette in my answering machine.

Alright, it’s Thursday. It is also National Bologna Day. Everyone I know that likes bologna is in heaven. I rarely have bologna, but I had a shit ton of it in the 1970’s.

I’m sure those bologna lovers up in heaven are looking down to see that I’m still full of bologna.

Be astonished and be full of bologna

October 23rd, 2024

 Have yourself a merry little Humpday….

All the Chalkboard is telling us is, don’t be a dick and if someone is being a dick, walk away.

The older we get, the more often we witness karma. I much prefer the good karma, it gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling.

The bad karma is usually followed with swearing and aggravation.

Like I hinted on the Monday Chalkboard, let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.

October 22nd, 2024

 I was a big “Hill Street Blues” guy. Most episodes started with the pre shift roll call at the precinct. Sergeant Esterhaus would tell the officers before they went out on patrol, “Hey, let's be careful out there."

This morning I want all of you Chalkheads to be careful out there.

Take the CAP LOCK off and try not to yell at anyone today. You never know what the hell they might be going through.

One small request…

My friend AH is having a tumor removed from her skull cap today. You know I dig the power of prayer. Put AH on your morning chant to the higher love.

Tuesday morning, never looked so good, be astonished

October 21st, 2024

 In fifteen days the country is going to be split up the middle.

We have painted ourselves into a political corner. The choice between a Mealy Mouth and a Dip Shit (and don’t get defensive), we all know the choice sucks and the quality is horrific…

…it isn’t worth it, they aren’t worth fighting over.

On a daily basis, the role of the President doesn’t matter. What we need to put our energy into is the local elections. The elections for offices that hit close to home.

State, county and local government, judges, school boards, taxes, zoning and even the dog catcher is more important.

Get on the internet and look at the ballot example that you’ll be pulling. Look at it hard and get acquainted with who the choices are.

Especially the judges!

Do your homework and see what judges are qualified and have a high rating. The position of a county clerk or the metropolitan water commissioner is more important than the president of our country right now.

Washington will survive with whatever assclown has more hanging chads. It is the construction cone on your corner or the judge deciding your fate that you need to worry about.

You can also take another route if you’re having a hard time deciding what you want to do you.

Watch an old George Carlin routine or an old Richard Pryor show. David Chappelle and Ricky Gervais are also good choices that can lighten your burden of choice.

We need to get back to making fun of ourselves. We need to laugh with each other and debate the difference, not argue over a disagreeable opinion.

Please don’t look at today’s Morning Chalkboard as a soapbox, but as a reminder to do your homework and vote intelligently.

I’m going to remind you of the song Sister Mary Balthazar taught me in Kindergarten, it says to let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.

Show people astonishment and integrity, not a cardboard yard sign