The day has come that many of us have dreaded. The clocks have fallen back into winter formation. The days are getting shorter and forget about seeing how long your shadow is.
Get the afghans out of the box in the hall closet and get the Netflix app updated.
We will not have a sunset after five o’clock until the end of January, January 28th to be exact. Clocks will spring forward on March 9th of next year.
One, I have become my Oldman. I hate driving at night. Especially with all these shitty ass cars with the LED lights that shine up in my eyes and not down on the fucking potholes.
Betty the Green Blazer doesn’t have disco lights all around her body or high beams flashing at oncoming traffic. Her lights are a golden hue that makes the road feel nostalgic. The street feels all warm and fuzzy when Betty’s soft glow touches the curbs.
Two, I like to have my evening cocktail on the balcony in the “evening” and not in the afternoon when the kids are walking home from school.
I enjoy saying hello to the neighbors during their evening strolls or when they are taking Fido and Francesca for a walk.
Now I won’t see Gladys walking her shiatsu until February. When I do see Gladys, she’ll be bundled in a ski parka. I will long for the warmth of summer when Gladys is wearing a summer dress that flows gently in the breeze.
As for today’s quote…
Yesterday I took Fritz to Oakbrook mall for a new pair of shoes. I don’t really do Oakbrook Mall very often. It makes me feel like a turd in a milk bowl.
We are leaving Nordstrom and a hot mommy is walking in. I step back to see if Fritz will hold the door open for her. HE DID and I was very proud of him. It also gave me a clear shot at checking out the texture of the yoga pants the nice Clarendon Hills lady was modeling for me.
You are wondering how this story fits to the quote?
Well, I’m planting seeds into a young gentleman who will be kind and not a heartbreaking Jagoff.
If Hazel would have been there instead of Fritz. I would have held the door open for Karen and my eyes would have been glued to the ceiling.
Thank goodness I had Fritz, because those Pilates classes are working wonderfully for mummy.
And this is probably the reason why I’ll be nestled under my afghan watching “Peaky Blinders” alone until March 9th.
The first Sunday Funday in November. Election Day is Tuesday and the Second Civil War begins on Wednesday.
It’s supposed to be a cloudy day with a chance for rain. The perfect opportunity to watch shit do stuff.
If you plan on watching shit do stuff, try and be astonished
