The Church will be filled with CEO’s today. Busting out the rafters with new Spring sport coats and Easter bonnets. I’ve been going to mass religiously at Our Lady of the Couch Cushions for several years now.
OLCC fits me just fine… I go from CBS Sunday Morning with Jane Pauley to 9:30 mass on WGN. The mass is celebrated at Mercy Home for Boys and Girls.
I consistently went to mass until I married a CEO from Hensdale. It didn’t help that our firstborn was on the spectrum and our parish didn’t have a cry room.
So I stopped going regularly.
My dad always questioned my loyalty to mass throughout my twenties and thirties.
“Son… I hope you’re not going to mass just to be seen. I hope you’re paying attention to the Gospel and the importance of the fucking Eucharist!”
There were a couple times in the 90’s when I went straight to mass after a night of debauchery. The Congress el stopped at Oak Park Avenue. I could either walk up the ramp to Oak Park and go home or walk up the East Avenue ramp and go to Ascension for the first mass in the morning.
…. Oh the joy of 7:30 Mass still zipped up.
My dad freaked when I told him I liked going to Sunday night mass because it was a young adult mass. That mass was always full of horny Catholic girls who, like me were looking to get communion and get laid.
My dad also wasn’t too happy when he heard I went from a bar stool to a church pew many Saturday afternoons during the Clinton years. It was convenient to go from Doc Ryan’s over to Oak Park hospital for the twenty three minute mass at their chapel.
It was a Sunday obligation mass…
Sundays for me depend if it’s a Dad weekend or a Jumbo weekend. Dad weekends I’m usually running a short order breakfast counter. Jumbo weekends start with a cup of coffee. Then I either walk over to the bridge in Riverside to watch the sunrise or I do FatGuyTaiChi on my balcony. Followed by Jane Pauley and Father Donahue.
I do get the mass guide from Mercy Home. The Shepkids are watching me sitting on the couch paying attention to the readings. So I am setting some kind of example for them. I’m not going to raise CEO’s.
I’d rather raise good people than inconsistent Catholics.
The CEO’s will be so busy today one upping each other….forgetting all about the empty tomb.
“Good morning Alfred, hey check out the Rolex I received for thirty years at the firm…”
“Oh that’s gorgeous Thomas. Did you hear my son Cornelius is attending Brown next year? We are so proud of him.”
After mass all the pastels will be out front catching up on gossip. The divorces, the affairs, kids coming out of the closet, the McStockley’s house foreclosure and the Smith-Ecklin kid getting busted dealing Vicodin at Illinois State.
I don’t get any of that at OLCC. I also don’t get mean glares when I say, “and also with you….”
Sometimes I do have to tell George to shut up I can’t hear the fucking homily.
Anyway… I’m babbling this morning. Go enjoy your Easter, your Faith, your Family and the Easter ham.
It’s already the middle of April. Taxes are due and both baseball teams have losing records.
But the buds are starting to pop on the naked tree limbs, the birds are singing their morning overtures and flowers are appearing along the angle of sunlight.
Happy Easter Chalkheads….
....And CEO stands for “Christmas Easter Only.”
