I don’t have a favorite day of the week…
… and I say this because Monday is the most popular day to hate.
I don’t hate Mondays, but as I’ve gotten older the Sunday night into Monday morning combo has been the toughest time of the week.
Take for example this last Monday of February. A strange hum woke me up at 1:52am. It got me out of bed to investigate and since I was already up I took a healthy piss.
The early morning hum was coming from outside and along with the ringing in my ears I was awake for the day. One fucking fifty two in the fucking morning.
Yes….. this is the same mouth that I say my prayers with. The tone in my voice during the first “Hail Mary” alerted my support group in heaven that I was not happy.
After the last “Glory be” I grabbed my phone to check where the storm was located. At that point I wasn't falling back to sleep. I’m definitely starting the work week earlier than everyone else.
I was hoping the storm was going to hit Chicagoland after I pulled Betty into the garage at work. Looks like the rain will be here for my walk up the block to Betty’s parking spot in Riverside.
I’m not the only guy in his fifties that experiences this early Monday morning anxiety. I’ve learned many boys born in the 1960’s are dealing with this problem.
It begins with….
….I hope Betty starts this morning. Then It goes into worrying about the adulthood of the Shepkids. The anxiety continues into paying bills, the aches in my shoulders, the ringing in my ears, is there bread for George’s sandwich? … et cetera ,et cetera, et cetera…
Hopefully it will still be raining when I get home. Nothing better than a rainstorm during a Monday afternoon nap. Especially those naps that begin with thoughts of the sweat on the small of Julia Roberts back. That is the best way to start a Monday afternoon nap. Julia Roberts, a rainstorm and my favorite blankey.
So Monday has started and the Morning Chalkboard will be posted just before the alarm goes off. Maybe I should just wipe the sweat off of Julia Robert’s back before I start the day?
Jeez! What am I thinking? I was just saying an “Our Father” a few minutes ago and now I’m thinking about Mystic Pizza and erections…
Just as I typed that last sentence the rain began.
Sorry God…. I’ve had a Julia Robert’s fantasy since the late 80’s….
Have a safe and dry Monday morning and never let your curiosity cost you a quarter for the jukebox!
