Betty the Green Blazer and I encountered a road rage guy Tuesday morning in the rain. A little fella in his mini van with a Lagrange Park Little League sticker. One of these guys in a hurry to catch up with his shitty life.
The Cook County Sheriff showed up to calm everything down. I guess the poor guy was having a meltdown. His wife forgot to put her massager back in the hiding place under the nightstand and he found it. He brought his frustration to 31 street where Betty and I got in his way.
In a calm voice Sheriff Ortiz let Mr LagrangePark know that all woman have one and it’s not Mr Shepley and Betty that deserve this rage.
The poor guy drove off with his tail between his legs. Sheriff Ortiz asked if I was okay.
I replied that I was and I said, “you know Sheriff… on the last Saint Valentine’s Day that I was married I bought my ex wife a vibrator and a pair of slippers.”
He replied,
“I can understand why you are single Mr Shepley…. How did she react?”
“Well Sheriff Ortiz… she said ‘what the hell is this?’ In which I replied that if she didn’t like the slippers she could always go f*** herself!”
That’s me spreading joy to the community. You know Sheriff Ortiz used that joke for the rest of his shift and probably will use it more today.
Hopefully Wee Willie on Beach Avenue in Lagrange Park had a better day. Next time he pulls his road rage stunt it might not be with a mellow guy listening to Chopin having a conversation with a dead guy from Indianapolis!
And don’t worry… Betty is fine!
