January 8th, 2023

 “That's me in the corner

That's me in the spot-light

Losing my religion” is a line from an REM song that came out yesterday, I mean 1991.

I haven’t been to mass in years. I stopped going regularly when they changed all the words around.

I was behind a guy pulling out of the church parking lot onto a busy street. Another guy was impatiently trying to cut in front of me, but I had nowhere to move. I could see this guys wife was trying to calm him down. The car in front of me pulled away and I creeped up to take my turn.

“You fat fucking asshole!” Came from the car trying to cut into line. This guy just took communion eleven minutes ago and he’s calling me a fat fucking asshole in front of church!

I pulled out of the lot and onto 55th street wondering what is wrong with this picture. Five minutes ago Father told us to go in peace and I’m getting called a fat fucking asshole by a fellow parishioner?

That was when I finally bid adieu to the Catholic Church.

When I called my dad and told him this story he agreed with the guy.

“Moose, you are a big fucking asshole! Why didn’t you just let the poor bastard cut in line?”

I replied that I didn’t have room and that I was already in line and next to pull out of the church parking lot.

“So you’re taking your ball and heading home? You’re quitting something that has been a part of your life since the day your mother and I had you baptized?”

My dad took a break from yelling at me and I could hear him lighting a cigarette. Now I knew I should have kept my mouth shut.

“Son….. the Catholic Fucking Church will still be around long after you and I! You better let that poor son of a bitch cut in line after mass next week!”

…. And then my dad told me he loved me and hung up.

So I lost my religion, but not my Faith! That is my story and I’m running with it…

Something has to be going on that is bigger than the Catholic Church?

I talk to my dad everyday and he’s been dead since 2020. I talk to my ma, she’s been dead since 2016. My Gramma, 2012… my Uncle Charlie, 1992 and my Grampa died when I was five and he’s been watching over me the whole time.

I talk to Wags when I drive to work sometimes. I talk to Debono, I talk to Jimmy O’Brien and just recently I talked with Mrs Hamilton.

….And yes…. All of them answered!

FAITH!

Faith gets me out of bed everyday. It pushes me to be the best Jumbo I can be. Faith let’s me talk with my parents, my family and my friends that have all gone to heaven.

I don’t go to mass to pray to Papa God or Jesus or the Blessed Virgin.

I can be driving in Betty or laying on the couch or even sitting on the crapper… and I can pray to them!

Alright, it Sunday Funday! Last Bear game of the miserable year. We are entering the middle of January and the days are getting longer.

Also it’s the birthday of the guy who stole negro music and died on the crapper…

January 7th, 2023

 I turned on news radio this morning and the first thing I heard was late actor Dustin Diamond would have been forty six today.

I was looking to hear about the weather or the Speaker of the House fiasco or if the Pacers won last night and instead… it’s Screech’s birthday.

That whole “Saved by the Bell” phenomenon was never my cup of tea. I knew the show had some young hotties on it and I knew Screech.

We even had a Screech on the trading floor…. Poor bastard. I accepted my Chicago Board of Trade nickname. I grew into the legend that everyone knows as Jumbo. This poor kid shivered and shrieked every time someone called him Screech. He was probably happy when the floor closed and he could go back to his real name. I wonder what his name was?

Back to poor Dustin Neil Diamond. Another child actor that crumbled in adult life. I didn’t even know he died. I thought he was in jail.

I wonder if the pressure of being Screech was too much? His life got so big at an early age. Did he ever learn who Dustin even was? Did he learn how to be compassionate for Dustin or did being Screech destroy him?

Why in the hell is Jumbo talking about Screech on a Saturday morning Chalkboard?

Because Screech died incomplete! Dustin “Screech” Diamond probably never learned to love himself….

….like Don Shepley always said, “If you can’t love yourself, you’ll never be able to love anyone else.”

Oh and the Pacers won last night, Congress found weak leadership and we might get a glimpse at some sun today!

January 6th, 2023

     My mother and I were southbound on I-65 going to Indianapolis in the summer of 1974. It was a bright afternoon and we were singing songs to pass the time.

A white car with all its windows down passed us and was swerving lanes when it was ahead of my mom's Chevy Vega. I can remember her saying, “this doesn’t look good!”

Suddenly the white car left the asphalt and was driving across the grassy median. It slammed head on with a northbound car. That car was red. This was the first major car accident that I witnessed in my life. I had just turned eight.

My mom pulled to the side with many of the other cars. I’m not sure if a thirty eight year old mom had much to offer, besides prayer. The man from the car that pulled to the side in front of us walked by our car and said, “It looks like the northbound car was a family! I’m sure they are all dead!”

Those words have stuck with me my whole life. To this day when I drive past the crash sight I think of that family.

Another thing stuck out from the conversation between my mom and the other driver. The two men in the white car were black men. The driver of the other car said something else to my mom that has stuck with me.

“We’ve been following that car since Lafayette. It’s been swerving the whole time. I bet them n****rs were drunk on payday….. darn state troopers ain’t never around when you need them.”

My mom replied quietly, “I noticed the car was swerving as well.”

If my dad was in the car he would have kicked the shit out of that guy for saying a racist word. My dad came to punches many times whenever that word was said around his young son.

The point of this story isn’t about me seeing my first major car accident. The story was after we pulled away and the crash scene was miles behind us. My mom started singing “The Our Father” and reminded me to always pray. She also pointed out how ugly that man became for using that word.

“Never make yourself look ugly with hatred Pumpkinhead, Never!”

That afternoon became part of who I am. This story is a perfect example for today’s quote.

Our travels in life become part of us. It is what we see during our journey that builds who we are.

One last thing…..

I’m not going to justify the ugliness that occurred two years ago today. Today is the day to celebrate the men who brought our Savior the gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

Today is Epiphany, also know as the Day of the Three Kings. The Three Wise Men…..

…. They never traveled between Chicago and Indianapolis on I-65, but that baby they saw in a barn has made that trip millions of times.

January 5th, 2023

                  You know what would be perfect?

If my wife and I were about to become empty nesters. Maybe thinking about downsizing our four bedroom house. Our kids are all in college or out on their own.

I pulled into the country club over the weekend and received a ton of compliments on the new Mercedes that I bought over Christmas.

My wife and I decided next Christmas we are going to celebrate in Europe. Just the two of us for ten days celebrating twenty five years of a wonderful marriage.

John Shepley, you really do have the perfect life.

Sure sounds better than a divorced father of three living in an apartment by the river. Fifty six year old man with a daughter in fourth grade. A guy who spent five decades in the same business scraping enough together just to get to the next month. A guy driving around with the check engine light on hoping that light stays green.

This guy sounds like a loser…

Whenever I felt sorry for myself around my dad, he would start making a whimpering sound and say, “whoa is me! This isn’t fair! Ohhhh, whoa is me!” Suddenly the whimpering act would end and in a stern voice he would say, “nobody gives a flying fuck about old poor John Shepley! Quit feeling sorry for yourself, you look pitiful!”

My dad didn’t have a “Play like a Champion” sign above the front door. My dad had a blunt tongue and a sharp comment to do his motivating!

The successful guy living in the affluent suburb sure seems to have a perfect life. He doesn’t have a worry in the world.

“And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife

And you may ask yourself, ‘Well, how did I get here?’”

Life might not be perfect… what might sound perfect or look perfect has just as many flaws.

I think I’ll keep waking up in the illusion that I live in. It is the only imperfect one that I get.

Because I’m too legit, too legit to quit! Which is a hint for the code on the bottom right corner of the chalkboard.

January 4th, 2023

 If you guessed Old Testament you would be wrong. Today we quote the Englishman Billy Shakes.

It’s been forty one days already since Thanksgiving. These days between Thanksgiving and the beginning of the New Year are always chaotic. Though we gave thanks together several weeks ago, January 4th is also a good day to be thankful.

Today is the Perihelion of Earth’s orbit around the sun. That means the earth is the closest it gets to the sun during the year. It’s always a couple weeks after Winter Solstice.

My mom would celebrate today with a bowl of oatmeal and a huge hug. Both symbolizing warmth….

“Hold close and be thankful for the love in your heart Pumpkinhead!”

Before we know it we will be blowing off fireworks celebrating the Fourth of July. It is also around the same time we celebrate Aphelion. The day the earth is furthest from the sun. That’s when my mom would take me for a soft serve and we’d remember the people who are no longer with us.

My mom loved the sun… every time I hear that Beatles song about the sun I think of my mom. So today have some oatmeal and hug someone you love….

Here comes the sun… do da do do… here comes the sun and I say, it’s alright!

January 3rd, 2023

 A mother climbed into an ambulance last night to be with her son. This ambulance wasn’t in a violent neighborhood on the Southside. The mother and hurt son were taken by ambulance from the middle of a football field in Cincinnati.

The football players on the Buffalo Bills watched their teammate collapse on the field, then given emergency CPR and oxygen. Together with the home team Cincinnati Bengals they watched a colleague get carted away in an ambulance.

The game was later canceled with 5:58 left in the first quarter. The football game lost all importance as a twenty four year old kid’s life was hanging by a thread.

We’ve seen games canceled or postponed due to the 9/11 attacks and the Covid epidemic. This was one single game. A game that had a huge impact on the playoffs. A game that suddenly had zero significance.

I don’t think the Smart Phone Society will find a life lesson from last nights football game. They took their praying hand icon and posted it on Twitter. So everything is alright now. More importantly… how does this affect our Betting dot com wagers?

I was sad yesterday when I was taking Christmas tree ornaments down with my son. I didn’t have my nine year old shot while standing on the front stoop. I wasn’t attending a football game that my son had cardiac arrest at. Packing Santa away for eleven months doesn’t seem so bad after all!

Sunday I was pissed because the Bears starting quarterback was jeopardizing his career for a horseshit football team. Monday I was stunned to see a Bills defender make a routine tackle and possibly lose his life. It is unlikely the sixth round draft pick will ever play football again. Bears quarterback, Justin Fields has a game Sunday against the Vikings.

The toughest most well trained athletes in the world can die and the meanest athletes in the world can cry. We saw that on January 2nd, 2023.

The new year has its first major headline. The life of Damar Hamlin…

Instead of thoughts and prayers maybe realizing the fragility of life can finally come to light?

*** Damar Romeyelle Hamlin (born March 24, 1998) is an American football safety for the Buffalo Bills of the National Football League (NFL). He played college football at Pittsburgh.

January 2nd, 2023

 I’ve often used that saying, “God works in strange ways.” Today’s chalkboard makes fun of the old “Blessings are often disguised” quote.

I’m pretty sure God isn’t up in Heaven pushing buttons to shake things up.

Or is he?

“What are you up to today dad?”

“Well Jesus… I think I’m going to push the earthquake button for Chile today, following that up with more starvation in Burkina and I still have the Ukrainian War button on.”

“Sounds like a busy day dad. I probably shouldn’t bother you with small stuff.”

“What do you have for me Jesus? I can get to it when I’m done with this drought in Argentina.”

“Not a big deal, but that John Shepley kid wanted more green lights when he goes to work tomorrow.”

“You got to be shitting me Jesus? Green lights? Shepley has other concerns to pray for and he wants the light to be green at Mannheim road?”

“That’s what he prayed for and something about potholes in Cook County!”

“No green lights for John Shepley and in fact I’m going to push a button to overheat is radiator! I’m going to have his ex wife hound him and I’m going to give him arthritis!”

“Okay Dad, I’m sorry to bother you, but this kid does give Satan a tough time every chance he gets!”

“He does do that Jesus… Shepley loves to piss those pricks in hell off all the time…. Here is what I’ll do. I’ll skip the arthritis, the ex wife and the auto repairs.”

“That’s great dad, but how about the traffic lights on 31st street?”

“No Jesus… the lights are going to be red and I’m going to have a train stop him as well!”

“Why Dad?”

“Because he keeps blaming me for the Chicago Bears losing nine games in a row! I don’t control the NFL since they signed that big contract with Amazon!”

The point of the matter is maybe I need to stop asking for big favors. Maybe stop blaming heaven when shit hits the fan? Maybe I should thank heaven more often?

God doesn’t give a crap about the NFC Central standings. He doesn’t send blizzards though I’m sure he questions the “Dibs” theory on Chicago streets when there is a snowstorm.

This is why I’ve been praying to my mom and dad directly. They can filter the stupid shit I pray for and pass along the solid ones.

There are a couple things God sends us on a daily basis… the sunrise, the sunset and political commercials.

January 1st, 2023

 My alarm went off at 3:30 this morning and I was still up. So the chalkboard got up later this morning than usual.

Not much to say this morning… so let’s get 2023 rolling!

2022

2021

2020

2018 and 2019

December 31st, 2022

 …..and so all years must come to an end. Anything that I would have liked to have changed about 2022 is out of my control.

As for 2023….. bring on the hatred, the wars, the poverty, the hunger, the division and anything else negative the devil wishes upon the world.

My feet will hit the floor every morning and I will look down and tell that prick that I’m fucking up his plans. Then I’ll look up at my parents and tell them to watch my back.

“Mom, Dad…. I just mealy mouthed the devil. Cover me!”

2022 didn’t bring me very far from home. I don’t have any grandiose plans of traveling very far in 2023.

My 2023 goals are to smile more, cry more, read more, walk more, write more, fuck more, pray more, peace more, love more and soul more…

I’m going to try and leave my mobile on the table more and in my hand less. Instead of texting you, I’m going to call you. I’m going to try and eat more red meat and less salads. I’m going to get my mitt out and play more catch.

Maybe I’ll peak my head into a church more often and a pub more often and a strip club more often and a library more often and a hotdog stand more often?

After tonight I’m going to have one less New Years Eve to anticipate. It’s too late to party like it’s 1999, so 2023…. Let’s get it on!

PEACE, LOVE and SOUL

December 30th, 2022

    These next couple days are a time to reflect on 2022 and prepare for 2023. This last year happened so quickly I can’t put my thoughts together on the events of the last twelve months.

At my age I can look back at decades and have a clearer mind to reflect upon. I can hear my grandparents generation saying how quickly life goes the older we get. Then I heard my parents generation repeat those same words. Now it’s our turn…..

“Holy shit! Time flies the older we get!”

On New Years Eve in 1972, I might have had a KayO with my parents. I know I was in bed before midnight with WLS playing on my transistor radio.

On New Years Eve in 1982, I was drinking Moosehead beer at a high school party. I know I was up at midnight because my mom grounded me at 1:30am when I got home. Great start to 1983.

On New Years Eve in 1992, I was with my buddies on Madison Street in Forest Park. Slamming Old Styles and Lemon Drop shots. I know I was up at midnight that year because I was enjoying the first polish sausage in 1993 down on Maxwell Street at 3:00am.

On New Years Eve in 2002, I was with my fiancé drinking Veuve Clicquot. The champagne flowed heavily and I was dropping my future wife at her parents in Hinsdale at 10:30pm. I was asleep in my recliner in Oak Park at midnight when 2003 hit the calendar.

The last night of 2012 was spent with a pregnant wife and two sons. We celebrated New Years Eve at 6:59pm with George and Fritz hitting pots and pans. I was sneaking out to the garage pulling swigs off of a bottle of Sambuca that I kept in the icebox. We were asleep before midnight.

Now I can catch my thoughts about 2022. It had its ups and downs. I watched my children grow. I went to work with a group of stand up individuals. I hung out with a dear pack of friends and made out with some incredible hot mommies.

For New Years Eve 2022? Friends are laying low and hot moms are lurking quietly. Chances are I’ll make dinner for George and sneak out for a cocktail somewhere close to home. I’ll probably be asleep by midnight.

Reflecting back on 1972, 1982, 1992, 2002, 2012 and 2022. One thing that was the common thread.

I was getting straight F’s…. I was continuously building a foundation based on faith. Pushed along with the love of family and the support of friendship. F:F,F,F

You gotta have an open mind when you reflect on the past. There isn’t a DeLorean or a hot tub taking you back to change things around.

December 29th, 2022

      I put this sappy ass quote up on the Morning Chalkboard last night before the redheads went back to their mother's house.

That was one of the original purposes of the first chalkboard. Use quotes that will plant seeds into the Shepkids that can help them grow into strong adults.

Since everyone reading this is already a strong adult let’s talk about end of the year movies. Movies that you traditionally watch around New Years Eve.

How many times this weekend will we hear someone say, “Merry New Year!” Like Eddie Murphy in “Trading Places?”

"I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart.” New Years Eve in Cuba when Michael put it together that it was his brother Fredo that betrayed him.

Most of us will have ”When Harry met Sally” high on the end of the year movie lists. To me this movie reminds me when I heard Harry Connick for the first time.

My go to movie is a movie not many have on their list. My movie is also in my top ten favorite movies. The movie that I’ll watch between now and Sunday is “Diner” from 1982.

Set in Baltimore during the end of December in 1959. It centers around a group of young men coming to age at the end of the 1950’s. Their go to place to talk about life was their 24 hour a day diner. They talked about music, sports, sex and the Baltimore Colts.

How many of us had a diner in our life? My diner was the Gossage Grill up on North off of Harlem. I’d go their with my dad for breakfast or lunch. I’d take dates there to see if it was gross or cool. If it was gross the relationship wouldn’t work. My best memories were the late nights with the guys. Usually after a night out drinking in Forest Park.

Gossage is a taco stand now…

What do you watch at the end of the year? I’d love new suggestions and I’d love it if you watch “Diner” again or for the first time.

Let’s put a list together on todays Chalkboard!!!

December 28th, 2022

 I promised my dad when he was dying that I’d be a better person. He specifically wanted me to be a better ex husband. He and I were divorced from women with heavy depression. Both of them heavy drinkers. His wife had horrible mood swings and for my wife that was defined as being bipolar.

He often told me when I was a child, “Son, your mommy was sad way before we met her and it’s not our fault.” I’ve caught myself saying this to the Shepkids forty years later.

Not that I was a Jag Off to this lady before my dad passed away, but when she mouthed off to me in the past, I would rebuild her backside. Now I just say “okay!”

That promise to my father has given me great freedom. Freedom that takes me on a higher path. A path that is visible from heaven.

Speaking of jag offs…. The world is filled with them. Most of them drive on the streets that I take. In the past when a jag off didn’t appreciate my driving ability… if they would rudely force this opinion at me, I would tell them to blow me. Maybe tell them their mom could blow me or their sister…

Now I just smile at them and wave. Maybe even give them that dumbfounded I’m sorry look.

This gives me the freedom over that poor son of a bitch. It puts me in the lane that leads to the higher intersection. An intersection visible from heaven.

It took me fifty years to finally listen to my dad when he was on his deathbed. React with a cool head and freedom will ring.

Fortunately this freedom is affordable while I’m setting examples for my offsprings…

Christmas tree lights are tangled up? Yelling at them won’t untangle them.

Traffic is backed up for no good fucking reason? Screaming at the dumbass in the Subaru won’t move the cars any faster.

The guy in the drive thru at Culver’s doesn’t know how to read the menu? Informing him to get a salad instead of a large custard won’t be helpful.

When your ex wife tells you that you are the reason for all of her pain and problems? Just say, “okay, I’m sorry.”

Freedom feels so good when the air you breath isn’t reinforced with hostility. Freedom is on the road that is higher and healthier.

In 2023 shit WILL hit the fan. How will I react when the shit splatters on my face?

I will let freedom take the form of a washcloth and wipe the shit off my chin and move on to the next fan.

Today is thirty seven seconds longer than yesterday. The snow will be melting by the weekend and 2022 is almost over… let freedom react!

December 27th, 2022

 A friend of mine asked me if she looked old during Thanksgiving. I honestly replied no and told her she didn’t look old, but she did look older.

I could see that she was confused and pissed off before I could explain myself.

Getting older is a part of life. We didn’t realize in 1982 or 2002 how quickly 2022 would arrive.

Did you get old since the Reagan years or have you gotten older as we moved into a new millennium? Maybe the wording is a disguise or a placebo to make you feel better?

Old or Older?

Trees get old and they look more magnificent with every spring that brings them green growth. The new ring underneath the bark adds more strength to the tree. The new ring of life that shows a trees age also helps it grow taller and brings more branches.

Each spring the growth of leaves, flowers, fruit, nuts and acorns make the tree new again and each autumn the tree lets all that beauty explode into winter slumber.

Yesterday I was told that I was dumb because I’m old. Forty five years ago if I said that to my dad I would have been slapped into the next week. I thought what Hazel said in 1977, but I kept my mouth shut.

I don’t know what some geometric deal on Roblox means or who Tyler Swift is or what songs she sings, but I’ve learned things with every ring I’ve grown under my bark. I might be stupid to my nine year old, but I’m older and wiser to me.

Don’t get old and wither off and die. Get older and grow branches and turn green in the spring.

I don’t know any lady Gaga, but I can sing and dance to Janet Jackson’s “Rhythm Nation.” I don’t know how to build cities on Mindcraft, but I can name the 1977 Chicago Bears starters.

Get old and nobody will throw you Mardi Gras beads! Get older and fling Mardi Gras beads into the crowd.

This weekend all of us old mother fuckers born in the 1900’s are adding another ring to our trunks. Look at that ring as a badge of courage, of honor and of strength.

Leave the regret and agony of 2022 out before Saturday night. Kick it to the curb. Let the garbage truck haul it off. Just remember garbage pick up is on Friday, not Thursday this week….

December 26th, 2022

 It’s over….. the Christmas movies are done streaming. The Christmas carols have all lost their magic. The alleys are filled with bags of Christmas wrapping and the dishwasher needs to be unloaded.

All the stress of putting Christmas together is gone. It all came together and in a flash is over.

This year 93.9 started playing Christmas Carols on November 1st. That was 55 days before Christmas. In 55 days it will be February 18th. Look how quickly the last 55 days went by. Sure February 18th seems like a long time from today, but it will be here as fast as November 1st seems so near.

Now the focus is on 2023 and what the New Year will bring. I’m skipping on being hopeful. I was hopeful on December 26th, 2019 and look what happened in the months that followed.

Forget about being hopeful. Forget about your waistline. Forget about dry January. Forget about a new job, a new car, a new romance in 2023.

Quit dreaming on how much better 2023 is going to be. All the major crap going on in the world will still be occurring on January 2nd.

I’m going to do January 1st, I’m going to do January 2nd and 3rd and 4th and 5th. I’m going to do February 6th and March 13th and April23rd…. I’m going to take one day at a time and hope I’m doing it right. That’s the only hope I have in 2023.

I hope I’m doing this right…

I’m going to get up in the morning and hope I bring Mo Betta to the things that I control.

My job: bring integrity

My Family: set an example

My Friends: be there when they need me

My Faith: make God and my parents proud and piss the Devil off everyday.

My Home: keep it full of positive nurturing

My Body: Flaunt it

My Country: respect it

My Community: make neighbors happier.

I’m still going to worry about bills. I’m going to worry about the Shepkids. I’m going to worry about Betty the Green Blazers “check engine” light. I’m going to worry about my friends when they are dealing with a problem…. Every time I worry about all this shit I’m going to deal with it and figure in 55 days it won’t be a problem because in another 55 days I’ll have something else to worry about in 2023.

Another thing I’m not going to hope for this Spring…. Winning baseball on the Southside!

One game at a time.

December 25th, 2022

 I want to get one of those 3D printers so I can make new statues for my Nativity scene. I want to make figurines of people that I spent Christmas with during my life. People who don’t have gifts under the tree anymore. People that don’t have a seat at the Christmas table anymore.

My Grampa and Gramma, my Mom and Dad, my Uncle Charlie… people at one time in my life who told me to get my elbows off the table.

I’d move the three wiseman to the side and kick the shepherd and a couple farm animals out of the Holy Barn. I’d put my family right next to the Holy Family. My parents, Uncles, Aunts and grandparents could still be part of Christmas.

Christmas is the time to spend with family before they become figurines in the Nativity scene. Christmas is the time to make memories with loved ones that might be in heaven next Christmas or the Christmas of 2033.

Most of my loved ones were at the real nativity last night. I could hear my dad turn to Jesus and say, “Jesus Christ, you were a beautiful little baby. What the hell happened to you?”

… and Jesus replied, “Well Don, you might have heard. I took an ass kicking on a rainy Friday so you can be here today.”

Heaven actually has those awkward moments during Christmas as well.

Today we are going to create awkward moments and special memories in Riverside. The Shepkids and I are going to have Christmas Day with their Grandparents.

Not that they are anywhere close to being put through a 3D scanner… but…. George won’t be 16 ever again. Fritz won’t be 13 and Hazel, well Hazel won’t be 9.

PopPop and JoJo are coming to hangout with their Grandchildren. The last Christmas I spent with PopPop and JoJo was when George Michael died. Which reminds me, I’ll need his figurine for the Nativity scene when I get this 3D printer deal hooked up.

If you have someone in your life that can become a figurine sooner than later… enjoy their love while you can. Put your elbows on the table and get yelled at.

Today… I’m going to make a nice dinner, mix some cocktails and watch my Shepkids make memories with their grandparents…. Because Christmas of 1973, 1978, 1981, 1986, 1991, 1998, 2007, 2013 and 2022 all fade together and make up one Christmas memory captured in the Nativity…

If you ever wondered how many miles Santa puts on his sleigh and reindeer on Christmas Eve…75,000,000 miles.

December 24th, 2022

 Many of us have a shitload of things to do in the next 24 hours. Don’t lose focus….

Things will all fall into place, but make sure someone keeps Baby Jesus from kicking off his blanket. Swaddle him tightly and make sure the shepherds clean the sheep shit off the neighbors lawn.

The most common post among all of you is the joy that you are safely together with the people you love. The pictures of dads hugging daughters home from school. The pictures of smiles around the dining room table. The family playing a guitar and singing together.

This is Christmas!

We are making cookies in Noblesville. We are watching “Love Actually” in Elmhurst. We are listening to Dean Martin in Bridgeport. We are taking a walk with our grandparents in Gloucestershire. We are making cookies in Logan Square.

This is Christmas!

The market closed yesterday and the lads at work poured bourbon and cherished our integrity and energy. We wished each other a Happy Christmas when suddenly a racket entered the trading room as Fritz and Hazel ran in and gave me a hug.

This is Christmas!

I leave you with the sermon from the end of my favorite Christmas movie, “The Bishops Wife.”

“Tonight I want to tell you the story of an empty stocking.

Once upon a midnight clear, there was a child's cry, a blazing star hung over a stable, and wise men came with birthday gifts. We haven't forgotten that night down the centuries. We celebrate it with stars on Christmas trees, with the sound of bells, and with gifts.

But especially with gifts. You give me a book, I give you a tie. Aunt Martha has always wanted an orange squeezer and Uncle Henry can do with a new pipe. For we forget nobody, adult or child. All the stockings are filled, all that is, except one. And we have even forgotten to hang it up. The stocking for the child born in a manger. Its his birthday we're celebrating. Don't let us ever forget that.

Let us ask ourselves what He would wish for most. And then, let each put in his share, loving kindness, warm hearts, and a stretched out hand of tolerance. All the shinning gifts that make peace on earth.”

Merry Christmas everyone, I love you all…… Jumbo!

December 23rd, 2022

 The pre Christmas blizzard wasn’t as bad as early predicted. Maybe three inches? It’s the cold that is brutal this morning and will be the next couple days.

Just remember the days are getting longer and next weekend is supposed to reach the forties and maybe fifties on New Years Eve.

Also, the first sunset after five o’clock is January 28th…

If you can stay inside, stay inside!

December 22nd, 2022

 I’m in a funk and I’m not sure if it’s the stress of Christmas or this storm that’s heading our way. Maybe it’s the lingering affects of having covid last week, but I’m in a funk.

I just erased five paragraphs of babble because I’ve been up since 2:08am….

…. Bottom line!

Let’s get through this snowstorm and brutal cold front. Let’s get passed another Jesus birthday party. Let’s end this horseshit year.

What we need is Rodney Dangerfield to scream, “Hey everybody! We are all going to get laid!”