I’ve often used that saying, “God works in strange ways.” Today’s chalkboard makes fun of the old “Blessings are often disguised” quote.
I’m pretty sure God isn’t up in Heaven pushing buttons to shake things up.
Or is he?
“What are you up to today dad?”
“Well Jesus… I think I’m going to push the earthquake button for Chile today, following that up with more starvation in Burkina and I still have the Ukrainian War button on.”
“Sounds like a busy day dad. I probably shouldn’t bother you with small stuff.”
“What do you have for me Jesus? I can get to it when I’m done with this drought in Argentina.”
“Not a big deal, but that John Shepley kid wanted more green lights when he goes to work tomorrow.”
“You got to be shitting me Jesus? Green lights? Shepley has other concerns to pray for and he wants the light to be green at Mannheim road?”
“That’s what he prayed for and something about potholes in Cook County!”
“No green lights for John Shepley and in fact I’m going to push a button to overheat is radiator! I’m going to have his ex wife hound him and I’m going to give him arthritis!”
“Okay Dad, I’m sorry to bother you, but this kid does give Satan a tough time every chance he gets!”
“He does do that Jesus… Shepley loves to piss those pricks in hell off all the time…. Here is what I’ll do. I’ll skip the arthritis, the ex wife and the auto repairs.”
“That’s great dad, but how about the traffic lights on 31st street?”
“No Jesus… the lights are going to be red and I’m going to have a train stop him as well!”
“Why Dad?”
“Because he keeps blaming me for the Chicago Bears losing nine games in a row! I don’t control the NFL since they signed that big contract with Amazon!”
The point of the matter is maybe I need to stop asking for big favors. Maybe stop blaming heaven when shit hits the fan? Maybe I should thank heaven more often?
God doesn’t give a crap about the NFC Central standings. He doesn’t send blizzards though I’m sure he questions the “Dibs” theory on Chicago streets when there is a snowstorm.
This is why I’ve been praying to my mom and dad directly. They can filter the stupid shit I pray for and pass along the solid ones.
There are a couple things God sends us on a daily basis… the sunrise, the sunset and political commercials.
