May doesn’t get the credit that it deserves. When you ask someone what their favorite month is, May rarely makes the cut.
You’ll hear June and July right off the bat. People that like Autumn always pull out October. December is popular because of the North Pole guy and the Jewish kid’s birthday.
The month of May has a shit ton going on.
May the fourth be with you is this weekend. The next popular event is a big Modelo day that celebrates another French defeat. The Catholics celebrate the crowning of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Horses run for glory in Kentucky. The pool guy drops off boxes of chlorine at your neighbor's house that has a pool. Trees have a fresh coat of greenery…
…and the month ends with the greatest spectacle in sports, The Indianapolis 500.
One thing that I never saw in May that I first heard about when I was a young man with screaming hormones….
… the SpringTime Itch!
I remember, towards the end of my seventh grade, hearing a group of older boys talk about this annual hormonal occurrence.
Springtime wasn’t only about everything that I mentioned above, but May also made girls super horny. It gave them the Springtime itch. This was when most guys lost their virginity. The first booby touch happens in the glorious month of May as well.
I couldn’t wait for May to come around my Freshman year in high school.
Guess what…. The Springtime Itch ended up being more like a Sasquatch sighting….
It never happened!
Let’s have a glorious month of May! May we find astonishment and happiness between May Day and Memorial Day…
And if there are any single hot moms out there…
…I’ve got a good back scratcher.
