November 5th, 2024

The day has come to vote for the next President of the United States. For me it is just a rainy November day. Sure, I’m going to vote, but the results are not going to end my world.

I’m going to do it all over again in four years.

I had some stupid shit pop up yesterday. We’ve all had that kind of day when something unplanned pops up that takes your attention away from the routine.

“Some stupid shit”

I even left work early yesterday to attend to the some stupid shit. I never leave work early, but I did yesterday.

You want to know something about some stupid shit. Most of the time it works itself out right before more some stupid shit appears at your door.

We are always going to have some stupid shit getting in the way of our daily routine. It will never stop coming!

Some stupid shit can be as serious as going through cancer. That is some “serious” stupid shit. A few of you Chalkheads are going through it right now.

Sometimes I’ll blurt it out when I’m praying, “Heavenly Father, I need your help with some serious stupid shit going on with my friend Bartholomew….”

I don’t have a friend named Bartholomew. I’m keeping anonymity for my friends going through some serious stupid shit right now.

I also know this… my parents went through some serious stupid shit. They’re dead now and you can’t take any of the some stupid shit to heaven.

Today we are going to vote for some stupid shit. In four years, we are going to vote again… for more some stupid shit.

Most of the time, some stupid shit shows up because of previous some stupid shit.

Fortunately we have our Faith, our Family and our Friends to help us get through the some stupid shit.

Lets worry less about the some stupid shit and try to be more astonished

November 4th, 2024

 I don’t ever want to hear someone gleefully say that we gained an hour of sleep Saturday night. Fritz was happy that he got an extra hour in Riverside this weekend.

We didn’t get an extra hour of nothing!

Nothing!

We’ve gotten eight weeks of four-thirty sunsets.

I slept like a turd last night and why in living hell is it humid in early November?

I peeled myself off of the clean sheets like an American cheese wrapper.

Enough bitching and moaning about the clocks going back an hour.

….and I won’t start bitching about the Chicago Bears this morning.

What is there to bitch about?

My baseball team lost 121 games last summer. I’m use to mediocre sports in my life.

Let’s get through election week without arguing with family and friends. Save it for the Thanksgiving table.

There will still be guns and there will still be abortions in 2025. It’s up to Chalkhead Nation to bring Peace, Love and Soul into the next year and well into the remainder of the chaotic 2020’s.

I think it’s probably going to be a rainy, crappy day. Keep your windshield clean and use the fog line when bright lights shine in your eyes.

Pretend that I drew a smile on the sun today and let raindrops astonish your heart

November 3rd, 2024

 The day has come that many of us have dreaded. The clocks have fallen back into winter formation. The days are getting shorter and forget about seeing how long your shadow is.

Get the afghans out of the box in the hall closet and get the Netflix app updated.

We will not have a sunset after five o’clock until the end of January, January 28th to be exact. Clocks will spring forward on March 9th of next year.

There are two reasons why I don’t like it being dark at four-thirty in the afternoon.

One, I have become my Oldman. I hate driving at night. Especially with all these shitty ass cars with the LED lights that shine up in my eyes and not down on the fucking potholes.

Betty the Green Blazer doesn’t have disco lights all around her body or high beams flashing at oncoming traffic. Her lights are a golden hue that makes the road feel nostalgic. The street feels all warm and fuzzy when Betty’s soft glow touches the curbs.

Two, I like to have my evening cocktail on the balcony in the “evening” and not in the afternoon when the kids are walking home from school.

I enjoy saying hello to the neighbors during their evening strolls or when they are taking Fido and Francesca for a walk.

Now I won’t see Gladys walking her shiatsu until February. When I do see Gladys, she’ll be bundled in a ski parka. I will long for the warmth of summer when Gladys is wearing a summer dress that flows gently in the breeze.

As for today’s quote…

Yesterday I took Fritz to Oakbrook mall for a new pair of shoes. I don’t really do Oakbrook Mall very often. It makes me feel like a turd in a milk bowl.

We are leaving Nordstrom and a hot mommy is walking in. I step back to see if Fritz will hold the door open for her. HE DID and I was very proud of him. It also gave me a clear shot at checking out the texture of the yoga pants the nice Clarendon Hills lady was modeling for me.

You are wondering how this story fits to the quote?

Well, I’m planting seeds into a young gentleman who will be kind and not a heartbreaking Jagoff.

If Hazel would have been there instead of Fritz. I would have held the door open for Karen and my eyes would have been glued to the ceiling.

Thank goodness I had Fritz, because those Pilates classes are working wonderfully for mummy.

And this is probably the reason why I’ll be nestled under my afghan watching “Peaky Blinders” alone until March 9th.

The first Sunday Funday in November. Election Day is Tuesday and the Second Civil War begins on Wednesday.

It’s supposed to be a cloudy day with a chance for rain. The perfect opportunity to watch shit do stuff.

If you plan on watching shit do stuff, try and be astonished

November 2nd, 2024

 The youngest sister worked for the pharmacy that my dad had his prescriptions at in Oak Park. She would drop my dad’s insulin off every once and awhile and my dad would make me answer the door. I flirted with her and we became friends. I would see her and her other sister occasionally in the neighborhood. They both started working at Fitzgerald’s Nightclub and I’d see them all the time.

They were in Shanahan’s for dinner with their parents and their oldest sister one night. It was the first time I met the oldest sister. She had a serious look on her face and talked in short sentences. The oldest sister didn’t seem as fun as her two younger sisters. As time went on the oldest sister got to know me and we became friends.

I’d run into the three sisters often in the neighborhood. More so the middle sister because she worked near the Board of Trade and was in the trading industry.

The three sisters were devoted to each other and were thick as thieves. Maybe that isn’t the correct phrase, because they were always giving, unlike a thief… so maybe I’ll just say they were arm in arm or hand in hand. They were rarely apart and always surrounded by incredible friends.

They traveled the world together and met friends along the way. They would go to New Orleans every year for Jazz Fest and could be seen at Wrigley in Cubby Blue from head to toe.

I ran into the three sisters on the day my ex-wife and I decided to separate and probably end our marriage. It was on my fifty-first birthday at the Fitzgerald’s American Music Festival. They knew something was going on from my unusual mood. I wasn’t the gregarious guy that day.

The serious sister took me to the side and asked me what was wrong. I told her my story and then she told her two younger sisters my predicament. A week later I was living on the top floor of their three flat in Riverside. The three sisters welcomed me with open arms and took care of me when I was trading on the lows of life.

The oldest sister would often stop me in the hallway, she lived on the first floor. She always made sure my spirits were high and that I was okay. The Shepkid’s birthdays all fell within the first six weeks that I lived in the three sisters’ building. They made sure the kids had a birthday cake at dad’s house and every year they dropped off Christmas presents.

This week on Halloween, the Oldest Sister went to heaven to see her parents. She had fallen sick around Labor Day and was in the hospital ever since. The Three Flat became quiet the entire time. The curtains on their balcony windows were shut throughout September and October. The two younger sisters were never home because they were constantly at the bedside of their older sister. Remember, they were never apart.

Until now.....

My three flat has a void that will never be filled. If you know the two younger sisters that took care of me when I was low, please give them some love while they are on their lows.

We meet people for a reason. Sometimes we never find out why, but I did. It all started in the 1980’s when the delivery girl from Sear’s Pharmacy brought my dad his prescription. I would never be able to hear the lions roar from my balcony if it wasn’t for the Three Sisters.

Rest in Eternal Peace Dear E. Ryan

November 1st, 2024

 November has arrived…

Standing out on the balcony in that wind storm waiting for trick or treaters wore me out.

Enjoy every bite that you take and don’t stop being astonished

A Halloween Story

 Years ago, when I lived in Camelot on the other side of Mannheim Rd, I set up a table in my garage on Halloween and served hot dogs to the kids in the neighborhood. The kids were actually delighted to get a hotdog and the parents were happy that their child ate something of substance to go along with all the candy.

Everyone knew the guy who made hot dogs in his garage from the White Sox commercial that aired on WGN the previous summer. So, we had a pretty good crowd all afternoon waiting for hot dogs on the neighborhood trick or treat route. The Shepkids were still young, they loved having everyone gathering in their garage dressed up for Halloweenie.

The sunset came quickly and the crowd began to disperse. My son George stuck around to help me clean up the garage and put things away. We didn't think we'd have any more trick or treaters that night, but before we lowered the garage door we saw one more coming our way.

It was a father who looked like he had a long day at work and hurried home to take his daughter trick or treating before the night was through. The little girl was about four years old and she was dressed like a puppy. She told me that she picked out her costume because it looked like the puppy that she wanted to have some day. Her father, with a slight hint of hopefulness in his voice promised her that someday she would get that puppy. He looked exhausted and his clothing hung loosely from his thin body. To me he looked down and out, but was putting out a huge effort to make trick or treating more special for his daughter.

I told the dad that I had been cooking hotdogs all afternoon for the neighborhood kids. I asked him if he wanted a couple for him and his daughter. He noticed that everything was packed away and didn’t want us to bother.

George told him that I made the best hotdogs and I told him to hold on. We invited the daddy and daughter into the garage. George gave the little girl a juice box and I offered dad a bottle of Old Style. The depleted dad told me that he had just gone through a divorce and he was happy that his ex-wife let him take their daughter out for Halloween.

My wife popped her head out to see why George and I hadn’t finished closing shop yet. I told her we had one more guest and we would come in shortly.

I’m glad we waited around for that last Halloween visit. I didn’t know at the time that this guy was foreshadowing my future. All I know is we helped a distraught man make Halloween better for him and his little girl.

Tonight, I stood out on the balcony waiting for one more trick or treater before the sun packed it in for the night. I’m glad I waited around for that last Halloween visit. It wasn’t from a divorced dad and his daughter. It was a quick glimpse of the sun hitting the clouds just right. Just right to remind me how beautiful the world is and how we are all here to make it Mo Betta' for each other.

Happy Halloween

October 31st, 2024

 I’ve been around the block a few times and on the way I studied at the University of Hard Knocks.

How often have we heard or said that line?

The only thing about today’s quote that I don’t like is the use of the word “old.”

I’d rather use the word “older” instead. I don’t want to get old, but I don’t mind getting older. People that get old sit in the corner. People who are getting older are living life with Gusto.

Happy Halloween!