Hazelnut,
Happy
thirteenth birthday Daughter,
There is something I hope you learn much
earlier than I did. Life moves in seasons. The things you believe at thirteen
won’t all be the things you believe at twenty-three, or thirty-three or
forty-three, and probably nowhere close when you are fifty-three.
Your favorite songs will change. Your
favorite books will change. The clothes you love, the people you admire, the
dreams you chase and even the way you see the world will keep changing. That
isn’t confusion, that is growth.
I have spent my life falling in love with
different writers. For a while I wanted to write
like each of them because I thought they understood something important about
being human and about being me. Maybe they were simply standing on different
mountains, looking at the same world from another direction.
If
I had written to you as William Shakespeare, I would tell you that the world is
overflowing with wonder if you keep your eyes open long enough to see it. I
would remind you that love, laughter, heartbreak and forgiveness are all part
of the same grand play, and every soul has a part worth performing. I would
hope you never lose your delight in flowers blooming after winter, sunsets over
the river and the strange miracle that ordinary people can become extraordinary
simply by loving well.
Then there was the season when I wanted to
sound like Ernest Hemingway. I would tell you that courage is usually quiet,
that character is built one hard decision at a time, and that strength means
doing the right thing long after applause has disappeared. Stand up for
yourself, stand beside those who need someone beside them, and remember that
dignity is something no one can take from you unless you hand it away.
Scott Fitzgerald reminded me that life
should never become so practical that it forgets how to dream. I would tell you
to dance when music finds you, to chase sunsets, to fall in love with books,
operas, conversations and adventures, and to believe there is still magic
hiding in ordinary spaces. Keep your imagination alive, because faith and
dreams have carried more people through dark times than certainty ever has.
Then I discovered Mike Royko, and he stripped
away every excuse. Work your ass off, tell the truth, don’t let anybody bullshit
you, and don’t mistake loud people for important people. Treat everyone fairly,
from the CEO to the janitor and never settle for mediocrity. Never let life
hustle you into becoming someone you were never meant to be. Never mealy mouth
the world and never be a faker.
As I have grown older, I have realized I
don’t really want to write like any of them anymore. I just want to sound like
your Oldman.
If I have learned anything worth passing on
after all these years, it is this… stay curious enough to keep changing, stay
humble enough to keep learning, and stay true enough that no matter how many
seasons your life goes through, you never lose the best parts of who you are.
I hope
one day you find your own voice. Borrow from the people you admire, learn from
everyone you meet, but don't spend your life trying to sound like somebody
else. The world already has Shakespeare, Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Royko and Jumbo.
It only gets one Hazel Marie Shepley
Happy birthday Daughter.
Love, The Big Ogre who will always
smell old and will never stop saying how much he loves you……
Your
Da,
John
S. Shepley
