October 31st, 2023

 The last day of October and tricks and treats are coming to the door tonight. I’m going to sit on my balcony and throw candy bars down to all the ghouls walking past.

Halloween has never been my thing. My favorite holiday is coming up next though. Thanksgiving has always been my go to for the best holiday of the year. Followed by Mardi Gras, Fourth of July and Christmas.

I’m going to predict that 93.9FM begins 24 hours of Christmas Carols on Thursday, November 9th at 4:07pm. The song will be Mariah Carey’s, “All I want for Christmas is you.”

Tonight I’m going to watch Charlie Brown and maybe an old black and white movie that we saw on Creature Features back in the day.

And soup.

I could go for a good bowl of tomato soup and a crispy grilled cheese after I’m done launching Kit Kats at unsuspected goblins.

You’re going to have to reach deep down today for that smile. It’s supposed to snow in Chicagoland. Take your time and don’t tailgate today. Don’t tailgate me, because I’ll brake check your Hyundai ass. Betty the Green Blazer is tougher than Tabitha the Toyota.

And never forget… Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat…

October 30th, 2023

 It is Monday morning and with it comes that repeated question, “How was your weekend?”

Let’s see…. How was my weekend?

Well….. a car drove through and destroyed my favorite hotdog stand.

New Zealand lost the World Cup. The Bears were defeated on prime time television. Chandler Bing drowned in a hot tub. My daughter watched a Taylor Swift movie when there were football games being played.

….and…. My ex wife’s father had a heart attack!

Can we find any good out of this last weekend in October?

Maybe I should talk about good timing and the power of prayer?

I mentioned yesterday that my father in law was sick and it could impact the mental health of my oldest son. Suddenly the prayers came rolling in from across Chicagoland, from across the Midwest, from across the world.

It was like the final courtroom scene of “Miracle on 34th Street.” You know when the mailmen start bringing in bag after bag after bag of letters from children to Santa Claus.

Santa sat up on the stand with a huge smile on his face. That is how I felt every time one of you posted the praying hands emoji on yesterday’s chalkboard.

And for the definition of good timing?

You have a guy who broke his hip on a Wednesday. He’s in the hospital recovering from the surgery and decides to have a heart attack. First of all being in the hospital saved his life. If he would have had a heart attack at home or out on the street…. He would have probably died.

Breaking his hip put him in the right place at the right time.

Here is another definition of good timing.

His wife stopped off to bring George home Saturday afternoon. She stayed for a bit and headed back to see her husband laying in a hospital bed with a broken hip.

When she got to the room she noticed his breathing was labored and he was in pain.

She immediately called the nurse. Suddenly the whole medical team is in the room and Mr. Bergmann is whisked off to the e.r..

If Mrs. Bergmann didn’t visit the love of her life at that moment… he would have probably died.

Prayers and good timing saved my father in laws life.

Now….

Should I go back to the assclown who drove his Subaru into Parky’s?

No…. Probably not.

Throughout this whole weekend…. World War III is looming in the Middle East. Chicago is still under progressive democratic destruction and the Federal government still resembles an episode of “Romper Room.”

All the crap in the previous paragraph is out of my control.

I might never have another hotdog ever again at Parky’s. Probably a good thing since my doctor made me take a bunch of tests that determined that I need to cut hotdogs out of my diet.

For the man formerly known as my father in law?

Prayer is going to get him into November and hopefully he will see all of his grandchildren become adults.

Maybe I’m pushing my luck, but maybe, just maybe….

….he will see his daughter and her ex husband become amicable again?

Alright Chalkheads! Let’s finish October off with a boo. Hopefully Mother Nature puts the smile on the sun today. If she doesn't, we will.

And lastly,

Remember what we learned from Stanley Kirk Burrell. We’ve got to pray, just to make it today.

October 29th, 2023

 I hung out with a group of friends during most of the nineties and into the early zeroes who were both Hawkeye fans and Illini fans. We would go to either Iowa City or Champaign every year to tailgate and watch football. Some of the stories are epic. This story takes place during the trip to Champaign in 2000.

It was a big group this year of about twelve to fifteen. I was sharing a room with my friend Sharon and one of her colleagues. They were both lawyers at a good firm in Chicago. I had known Shannon for about ten years and I met her girlfriend that weekend.

Late Friday afternoon I checked into our room and waited for the girls to arrive from Chicago. I was getting antsy because a good part of our contingency was already at a bar. The girls arrived and we caught up and went over the itinerary for the weekend. Shannon pulled me to the side and told me her friend was off limits and I told her I was good. We walked into the room and continued to go over the game plan with Shannon's friend.

When we came back in the room, Shannon told her friend that she wanted to make sure Shep doesn't bring any coeds back to the hotel.

This is where I told the girls that I actually had been seeing someone for a little over a month and I liked her. No JumboLove for the DG girls this weekend.

I started to tell the girls about my new love interest and I suddenly remembered that her father was a lawyer at a big firm in the loop. When I told the girls the firm, Seyfarth Shaw they put it all together with the description I gave them. They both worked at Seyfarth.

Without telling them my new girlfriend's name... They looked at each other and howled, "Big ED Bergmann!" in a straightforward tone. I immediately replied..... "That is him."

I had met my future father in law twice before the trip to Champaign. Both occasions he was very amicable and polite. I'm sure he was a little skeptical that his daughter brought home a Board of Trade guy eleven years her senior.

My lawyer friends and I walked over to the bars and they explained that Mr. Bergmann was an old school lawyer who kept to himself and was well respected at the firm and in his practice.

Last night my mother in law called me from the hospital to tell me her husband was going back in surgery and she needed me and the Shepkids to pray for PopPop.

George is very close with PopPop and they get together almost every Saturday and hangout. George always greets Pop with a hug and kiss. They go to the hardware store. They go to the camera store. They go to the clothes store, the shoe store, the car wash and the cleaners. Sometimes they go to Buttefield and hit golf balls. George does the heavy chores around Pop's house and then they go to lunch. It has been therapeutic for both of them and it gives me a little alone time.

I woke up this morning worried if PopPop passes away that the scar left on George would be destructive. George has done so well these last couple years going from a boy on the Autistic Spectrum to a young man.

His weekly errands and lunch with PopPop are a big part of George's positive therapy. PopPop has been a large presence in Georgie's life from the get go. George was Pop's first grandchild and he was so proud when he pushed George in the stroller.

I'm gonna need a shit ton of prayers from the Chalkheads today. I need my father in law (yes, I'm divorced...that doesn't matter) to heal up and help me raise George. George is doing so well right now and I don't need him taking backward steps.

PopPop and George both love trains and George wants a career on the railroad. PopPop needs to see his oldest grandson fulfill this goal. George needs to continue to make Mr. Bergmann a proud Grandfather.

It is going to be a cold overcast day in Chicagoland. Bundle up and take a brisk walk. The leaves are just as beautiful with a gray backdrop. Soon they will have all fallen and the trees will be bare.

October is almost over and Tricks and Treats will be frigid on Tuesday. Remember to put the smile on the sun and go into November happy and healthy....

October 28th, 2023

 I woke up this morning to some horrible news. In a world where Israel has to stand up and protect itself from hatred and terrorism. In a time where Jews must face a rise in antisemitism. Where a man with severe mental illness murdered eighteen people in Maine.

I’m going to bitch and moan about something very petty.

Some schmuck drove his car into my hotdog stand last night. Around ten o’clock, a car left Harlem Avenue and drove through the northside of Parky’s hotdog stand. Fortunately nobody was injured.

I had an old trading floor colleague go there yesterday afternoon for the first time. I was planning on taking the Shepkids there tomorrow for lunch.

I know the world is a shitshow right now, but whenever my life enters a shitshow…. places like Parky’s cheer me up.

Some people go to church, some people go to the gym, some people go for a walk in the Forest Preserve.

I go to a hotdog stand on Harlem Avenue off of Madison street.

When I have a bad day at work. Parky’s!

When my ex wife climbs up my ass bitching about nothing. Parky’s!

When I miss my dad. Parky’s!

When I like a girl and we make a fifth date. Parky’s!

When an airplane flew into a building and killed a guy I knew on a Tuesday morning in September. I went to Parky’s… When there is nothing to do and the kids are hungry. Parky’s. A couple days after my Oldman left for heaven. Parky’s.

When my divorce was finalized. Well, I went to Gene and Georgetti’s, but I could have gone to Parky’s.

I hope the owner can rebuild and return to business as usual. Because the world needs a neighborhood hotdog stand to go to.

It is therapeutic to get a hotdog on good days, bad days, sunny days and snowy days.

Today will be a cold and overcast day in Chicagoland. A perfect day for rugby. My club, The Chicago Blaze has a match at noon and the World Cup championship game is at two o’clock.

Watch some rugby… crank up the crockpot… listen to old radio shows on WDCB….open the sweater drawer… take a brisk walk… support Israel… pray for Maine and visit your local hotdog stand.

October 27th, 2023

      I took a cigar for a walk last night around Riverside. I figured that it was probably the last time for a while that I’ll be able to comfortably stroll around town in just a sweatshirt.

There was a heavy layer of humidity in the air, so my stogie drew a pleasant smoke. I left my phone on the dining room table and told George that I’d be back in an hour.

I wasn’t the only one with the bright idea that a walk through Riverside would be a nice way to end the day. The sidewalks were filled with dog walkers, stroller pushers and giggling teens.

I walked around the corner and had a wide look at the overcast sky. There was a break in the clouds and the moon took a cameo appearance. I thought it was a good photo opportunity, but I didn’t have my phone.

Riverside lights up the water tower for Halloween. I thought that would be a good photo to send to Fritz and Hazel, but I didn’t have my phone.

Who needs a damn phone? It’s a beautiful night and I have a gorgeous cigar dangling a pleasant note to the air.

I walked across the tracks towards the library. A car beeped and I heard a friendly, “Hey Jumbooooo!”

The moon continued to peak out at me here and there. It was a perfect night for late October.

I continued my walk back over the tracks and into the busier part of town. A couple of my buddies were sitting in Labarra. I thought how lovely it would be to sit down with them and enjoy a gin martini. Unfortunately I was committed to the ashes of a lit roll of tobacco.

As I walked towards the bank I noticed a friend walk out of the ATM. Thursday was his birthday, so with my trading pit tenor voice, I started to sing ”Happy Birthday.” A big smiled beamed across Burlington street.

He stopped and we chatted for several minutes. He asked about the Shepkids and when I asked how things were with him… he told me good news.

I needed to hear this because so often lately all that I’ve been hearing is bad news.

I walked down towards Riverside Food and waved to the girls working. I thought about going in and buying a four pack of BuckleDown, but I had something else waiting for me at home.

I turned back around the corner at Labarra and encountered a good kid that I worked with at the Board of Trade. Always has a huge smile on his face and something good to say. He was the second person that I came across who left me with positive energy.

We parted ways just as the saxophone player in the band playing at Labarra came outside to warm up his horn before the show. I had to linger and listen. That made me decide that I was going home to listen to some Cannonball Adderley and “Autumn Leaves.” A perfect song for a beautiful fall evening.

I walked in the door and found George sitting at the table dissecting a radio that he picked up at Goodwill. He was content…

I made a cup of tea and unwrapped the final treat of the night. I stopped off at Oak Park bakery after my tests at Rush/Oak Park. I ended up buying the perfect trifecta to treat myself after a hospital visit. Three things that I’ve always loved at my old bakery. A chocolate donut that didn’t make it past Roosevelt road. A chocolate éclair that didn’t make it past noon and a cheese danish.

The cheese danish was the nightcap that complimented my evening Earl Gray.

An evening walk through Riverside with a Puerto Rican cigar was a perfect way to end an eventful day.

I got so carried away this morning, that I never got the chance to talk about today’s quote. It is a James Baldwin quote that is perfect for the moment that we are living right now. I will let you read it and talk amongst yourselves.

Taylor Swift yesterday and James Baldwin today. We’ve got it all here at the Morning Chalkboard.

Get out there and finish the last week of October and don’t forget to put the smile on the sun.

October 26th, 2023

 The other day I was bitching about Taylor Swift and her new influence on the NFL. Last night after the channel two news I was caught up doing something and couldn't turn to the “Wheel.”

I was in the kitchen putting dishes away and I heard the “Entertainment Tonight” theme song coming from the living room. Now this isn’t my show anymore. Long gone are the days of Mary Hart’s gorgeous legs reporting about the new John Hughes movie.

The show started with two millennial clowns talking about Taylor Swift and her tight end boyfriend.

Hazel is sitting on the couch, So I politely yell from the kitchen to turn to channel seven.

…and she replies,

“No way Dad! I’m watching Taylor Swift!”

The story is about the dad of the football player dating Taylor Swift. He is really excited about getting to know more about his son’s latest girlfriend.

At one point during the segment Taylor is heard saying today’s quote. Hazel then insists that I use it on the Chalkboard.

Actually she didn’t insist…. She demanded!

I have this rule about quoting pop stars and democrats on the Morning Chalkboard. You will never see a quote from a Kennedy, Kevin Bacon, Obama or Oprah. Though don’t worry, I won’t quote Trump or Rush Limbaugh either.

But because my fifth grade influencer demanded, I mean asked…

…today is a historical day on the Chalkboard.

The other day at work when the conversation turned to Ms. Swift, my colleague said that she is worth more than any person that I liked.

“Oh yeah…. Mick Jagger! She isn’t worth more than Mick!”

So I go to the magic source of information,

“Hey Siri, who is worth more? Mick Jagger or Taylor Swift?”

The answer is on the bottom right hand corner of the chalkboard. I gave in to Hazel and the Morning Chalkboard is a Swifty today!

I’ll be damned if I’m ever forced to right down a JFK quote. You might get an Eleanor Roosevelt quote. In fact I think I have quoted the former First Lady.

You know I turned to my controlling daughter and told her that she better take this advice to heart.

Never be ashamed of trying!

It’s raining today and I’m taking the second day off in 2023 from work today. I have to go over to Rush and get an oil change. I think afterwards I’ll drive past my parents house and then over to Parky's for a hotdog.

I’ll just leave you with this…

…you cannot always get what you desire. Though, if you put in the effort, you will receive what you are able to utilize.

October 25th, 2023

 For the last month or so I’ve been able to watch Venus rise above Chicagoland. Outside of my bedroom window greeting me to the new day. At one point when the moon was at its last crescent, they almost touched each other in the pre dawn sky.

As loved ones and friends have slowly started to leave my life, I have assigned stars to their memories. It gives me a sense of comfort to look up and see people that I have lost.

This morning the sky was covered with clouds so I didn't see Venus. Today the clouds will cover the smile on the sun.

Don't let that stop ya!

October 24th, 2023

      Today’s quote was given to me from a guy who was about to take a business trip. The trip was between Chicago and Minneapolis, which is a four hundred mile trip.

It usually takes about six hours to drive between these two old NFC Central rival cities. It also takes damn near close to six hours if you add up all the chores it takes to fly.

So the man who gave me the quote from Buddha decided to drive.

The stress of going to O’Hare airport compared to the stress of driving through Wisconsin has a big difference.

Instead of chancing confrontations and crowded airplanes, the traveling man decided to listen to music and look at the fall foliage of the Midwest.

In the long run both modes of transportation take about the same amount of time, but what is the value of time?

Think about today’s quote…

…How much time is really left and why not spend it looking at leaves in the southwest corner of the Dairy state?

It is the decisions like this in life that help us realize how much time we really do have.

My Oldman always took the side streets when he traveled through Chicago. He hated taking the expressways which would probably have gotten him there faster, but were usually at a standstill.

Every time we got on the Eisenhower….every time…. He would say, “This G. D. piece of crap Eisenhower was obsolete the day they cut the ribbon on it!”

So instead of the Ike he took Lake Street or Roosevelt. Instead of the Ryan, he took Halsted. My dad took the grid system everywhere and do you want to know why?

Because you can’t see the neighborhood from the fast lanes.

You can stop at newspaper stands and Italian Bakeries if you take Grand Avenue. All you see up on the expressway are billboards and smokestacks.

The trouble is we don’t respect the time we have. Take the route that makes you happy. Don’t take the route that creates stress and anxiety.

Give yourself the chance to watch the leaves change these next few weeks.

You’ll be surprised how better you feel going into the end of the year.

….. and go out and put the smile on the sun. Today is going to be a gorgeous day, so go and enjoy your time.

October 23rd, 2023

    When Hazel was a little baby, we watched “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” together. We were still counting her life in months at the time. All we really watched before that night was PBS Kids and LeapFrog videos.

Hazel laid on my bewlly for the whole movie. Most of the time she slept and at one point I had to change her diaper. The only moment she perked up and watched was when Holly Golightly sang “Moon River.”

She watched with her big blue eyes when Audrey Hepburn sat on the fire escape and strummed her guitar.

From that night forward “Moon River” became the go to song for night night time.

Last night I left the radio on and listened to the jazz on WDCB. I was cleaning the kitchen and our song came on, I started to tear up. Hazel was at her mom’s last night, so I couldn’t sing along and make her smile.

Next weekend I’ll tuck Hazel into bed and as sure as the sun will set on Riverside, Hazel will ask me to sing “Moon River.”

If Hazel ever gets married and I’m still around, we will probably dance to this beautiful Henry Mancini classic.

Before that day comes, I’m sure there will be a time when Hazel won’t need her old daddy to sing a night night song. Though I’ll be ready at a drop of a hat anytime she makes a request.

It is already the last full week of October. Next weekend I’m sure we will be watching ”Great Pumpkin” together.

I remember watching Charlie Brown Halloween and carving a pumpkin when I was a boy. My mom was meticulous when it came to baking the pumpkin seeds. I’d do anything for a cookie sheet of my mom’s Halloween tradition.

I bring up my mom, so I might as well quickly mention the song she sang to me at night night time. It also makes me tear up because she’s not around when it comes on the radio. “Sunny” by Bobby Hebb, 1966 was the song that I fell asleep to many nights. I’d do anything to hear my mom sing that song.

Happy Monday Chalkheads.

October 22nd, 2023

One of the things that I remember most from second grade is the smell of that stuff the nuns used when a kid threw up. You never smelled the vomit because Sister had the saw dust out so quickly.

I always felt bad for a kid who heaved chunks across those shiny Catholic school floors. Immediately after your classmate got sick a squadron of sisters would rush to the scene. The apprentice nun was usually responsible for the quick cover up and removal of the pile of spew.

The other nuns would whisk the sick kid off to never be seen again.

I witnessed first hand the disappearance of a third grader by the name of Ronnie Sanguchi. I was walking to the principal’s office, Sister Mary Iron Pants to tell her I was being a little prick in Sister Adolph Kathleen’s classroom.

As I was walking down the hallway, the third grade door flew open and in a flash “TheGooch” was gone. Taken away in a blaze of habits and rosary beads.

We never saw Ronnie Gooch again.

Actually, he was back three days later after his fever was gone, but to a second grader that was forever.

I never wanted to throw up in school because of the fear of being taken to the bowels of the convent. Where you would be cleansed from the sin of hurling chewed up peanut butter and jelly… it scared the living shit out of me.

I would miss my parents. I would never sleep in my bed again. I would become vomit dust and I didn’t want to become vomit dust.

There was a rumor that when a kid threw up in the Catholic school he would be taken somewhere and turned into the crap nuns sprinkled over vomit. I could never end up a convent casualty. I had to make sure to never vomit on school property.

Until the day my mom sent me to school when I wasn’t feeling well. My mom wasn’t buying my story and she sent me to school anyway. It was a cold Tuesday morning in the February of second grade.

I felt like fucking shit, but I couldn’t tell Sister Brown Shirt that I was sick. It would mean immediate death.

I marched onward like any good Christian soldier was taught to do. I did my math problems, I learned my cursive and I read parables.

Lunch rolled around and I opened my Snoopy lunchbox and began to eat. I had a pb&j, Jays potato chips, a SuzieQ and an apple.

I opened up my sandwich and sprinkled a few chips on the jelly side, we called that Catholic lettuce.

I took three bites of my lunch and the trigger in my throat went off.

I took four steps to the classroom door… then suddenly in slow motion, I pasted the pictures of Abe Lincoln and George Washington. The presidents were covered in chunks of chewed Wonder Bread and gallons of toxic tummy spray.

I was doomed to join “Gooch” in the container of vomit dust.

Out came the orange colored granules and off went little John Shepley surrounded by habits and rosary beads.

I could hear one of the sisters belting out “Hail Mary’s,” I knew then I would never make it home.

They brought me to the big door at the end of the hallway. We entered and all I heard was Gregorian Chant.

Sister Mary Iron Pants sat me down and started wiping my face and rubbing the nape of my neck. Sister MIP was actually trying to ease my suffering. She gave me a plastic cup of water that was the most refreshing water I had ever tasted in my seven and a half years of life. It had to be Holy Water or something close to it.

Sister Golgotha handed Sister MIP a fresh wash cloth and put a thermometer under my tongue. I had a temperature of 103 degrees. I overheard from behind a nun say that she will call Johnny’s mom.

That was the first time I heard a nun call me by my first name. Usually it was Master Shepley, Mister Shepley or Satan Shepley.

From then on out I was called Johnny by the habits and rosary squad. For the rest of my Catholic school days I knew those tough broads were there to make me a solid Christian soldier.

Holy water and orange puke dust!

Don’t leave home without it….

Today is National Mother in law day. Even though I’m not married anymore, I still have a Mother in law and just like nuns, the myths are all false. The one assigned to me on my wedding day was very similar to Sister Mary Iron Pants. She came off tough, but was caring in the long run.

I’d love to take Mrs. Bergmann for a burger at the York Tavern today, but it would probably piss off her daughter.

Happy Sunday Funday…. Two weeks from today, seven in the morning will be six in the morning. Unfortunately six in the evening will be five in the evening and it will be dark outside.

That’s alright because soon Mariah will be telling me that all she wants for Christmas is JumboLove.

Go out and put the smile on the sun….

…and if you have a Mother in law, give her a call and thank her for raising a great child, your spouse.

Sometimes you just gotta take the liberty of bullshitting.

 

 

October 19th, 2023

 My first grade class learned the song, “Let there be Peace on Earth.” It was the first song that I sang in front of strangers.
“And let it begin with me…..”
I don’t think the world will ever find peace, so we must be at peace with ourselves.
“To take each moment and live each moment in peace eternally….”
Today is my 20,929th day on this journey of life. In a couple months I will have logged in 21,000 days since I first met my parents up on the northside of Chicago.
It probably took about 18,000 days to figure out how to be at peace with myself.
I came down with a simple formula to find peace…
WORK, PRAY and BE KIND.
These three things are the ingredients that have helped me find peace with myself. It is when you find peace with yourself that enables everything to fall into place.
All of the regret, the doubt and the hate will disappear. Well maybe it won’t disappear, but it won’t dominate your heart.
“Let peace begin with me, let this be the moment now.”
Starting today….. go find peace!
Do what it takes to build peace in your heart and in your soul.
Buy a bicycle, learn how to play a ukulele, join a book club.
The number of days we have lived is growing and the number of days too live is dwindling.
I love that final scene in “Caddyshack” when Rodney Dangerfield turns to the crowd and says, “Hey everybody! We’re all going to get laid!”
The end of that movie is fitting, because at the end of life we all do get laid…. Laid to rest.
Be at peace when you get laid.

October 18th, 2023

         The other day I finished a chalkboard with a paragraph about praying for three men. My Uncle and two of my friend’s fathers.

Today one of the dads will be having open heart surgery at Hines hospital. My uncle is lying in a hospital bed and my other friend lost his father yesterday.

When our dads were picking us up from practice or school, we never fathomed that they wouldn’t be around.

When they dropped us off at college or when they were straightening our tie on our wedding day… they were there and they would always be there.

At least that was what we thought.

Then I hear the old Harry Chapin song,

"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when"

I think I read that we spend 90% of our life with our parents by the time we are sixteen. Then we are hanging with our friends, going to university and off to a career.

…. And before you know it we are the ones taking the keys away from mom and dad.

My friend who will be in a waiting room today as his dad is in the operating room is a Chalkhead. My friend who is burying his father Saturday is a Chalkhead. My cousin who took her dad to a nursing home earlier this month is a Chalkhead.

Pray for them…. They are at a point in their lives where they realize how quickly a parents life can be.

“When you coming home, son? I don't know when,

But we'll get together then, dad

We're gonna have a good time then….”

Always hold on to that memory of your dad when he was twenty feet tall and could kill a grizzly bear.

Before you know it…. You’ll be the one who is twenty feet tall handing your dad his cane or getting his walker out of the trunk.

Even though the path of life has some sharp turns and a couple potholes…. It doesn’t mean that it continues forever. Even Western Avenue comes to an end… it might be the longest road in Chicago, but you’ll eventually get to Howard or 119th…..

God Bless Mr. B. as he begins eternal peace. God Bless Mr. P. as he gets his chest cracked open and his heart reconnected. God Bless Uncle C. as he gets his catheter arranged.

Life may be a wonderful thing, but the toughest men in our lives will someday have a fragile day.

Keep putting the smile on their sun until that day arrives……

October 17th, 2023

      I often daydream that I’m waking up at my Grandma’s house in the summer of 1978. I’m twelve years old and I just moved to Indianapolis from Chicago all over again, but this time around I lived up to 2023 before returning to the "Grease" soundtrack and Jimmy Carter.

I’m a seventh grader at Christ the King that has forty five years of life experience. I know that in the next year there will be a hostage crisis in Iran. I know that in a few years Reagan will be shot. I will also know that Milli Vanilli is lip syncing and they can't blame it on the rain.

All the knowledge that I bring back to '78, all that power that I can use…

…but all I want to do if I woke up twelve year old me is…

…appreciate things better.

…help people more.

…take more chances.

...make better choices.

I would have definitely bet the USA hockey team winning the gold in 1980. I would have definitely taken the points and bet all of the winning underdogs and I would not have voted for Ross Perot in 1992.

I would have definitely listened better to my elders. My relatives that lived their own forty five year flashbacks. Hear all of those stories firsthand that can’t be found on ancestry dot com.

If I was twelve again I’d watch my Grandma make zucchini bread. If I was twelve again I would go to the library more often. If I was twelve again I wouldn’t bully myself. If I was twelve again I would know that most of those kids in my seventh grade class had their own struggles.

The most important thing that I would do if I woke up in 1978, I would go back and help my mom defeat her demons. Make my mom appreciate herself better.

It would be great to go back and get straight A’s. It would have been great if I ran more and ate better. It would have been easier if I saved the money I made mowing lawns and delivering newspapers.

It would have been better if I really listened to my Grandma’s voice and learned all of her tricks. It could have been a happier life for my mom if I dropped positive hints on her darkest days.

I didn’t wake up this morning on Indianola Avenue in Broad Ripple. I woke up on Lincoln Avenue in Riverside.

Flashbacks and daydreams can be good therapy. Where would you flashback to if given the chance? You don’t have to tell me, tell yourself.

Today’s flashback is courtesy of Walt Whitman. Google “dismiss whatever insults your own soul” and fill in the rest.

...Tuesday morning, Never looked so good. I'm already in, In a daydream.

October 16th, 2023

I’m not sure what the week will bring, besides a few days closer to November. I closed the curtains Saturday night and when I opened them Sunday morning I noticed the leaves color changing.

Today I might be a commodity broker. Tomorrow I could be collecting carts at Costco. Poor men can become rich and strangers today can be lovers next week. You never know what the future brings.

Just be grateful for a good Monday morning and hopeful for a strong Friday afternoon. That is what today’s quote from Billy Shakes is getting at…

I’m going to cut today’s Chalkboard post short on this early Monday morning. I have some prick from South Africa mouthing off at me because I predicted New Zealand to win the World Cup.

I’m going to rebuild his asshole for him Chicago style before I return him to his farm. Keyboard bullies are lifeless creatures who usually live an uneventful life.

Start your week on a good note.

Put a smile on your sun and don’t take any shit…

October 15th, 2023

I should really be an empty nester by now. Most everyone in my age group has kids ranging from late teens to thirty.

I joke that I was an empty nester in the nineties. The Clinton years for me were full of road-trips and Debauchery. When I was sitting at the Cheetah Club in Vegas, my best friend was home with four kids under six years old. Today that same guy is a grandfather and I have a fifth grader.

I look back at a drunk me standing on Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras ‘96. No way could that punk deal with raising three Shepkids.

My buddy who was changing diapers when I was pounding hurricanes at Pat O’Brien’s was always more mature than me. I look at him now and he looks like a Grampa… but I look like I could still throw Mardi Gras beads to the Alabama girls with big boobs.

Maybe being the last guy in my high school class to raise a fifth grader is keeping me young?

Someday I’ll tell Fritz and George about the time I ended up in a hot tub with the Houston Oiler Cheerleaders?

But then they’ll probably say, “Who are the Houston Oilers?”

….this has been a good therapy session for me this morning on the chalkboard!

I think the Bears have a game today…. Unfortunately, so does the England rugby team. Instead of Bear Down, I’ll be carrying them home.

I think it’s a Parky’s day between rugby matches…

October is halfway over and we change clocks in three weeks.

Let’s continue to pray for Israel and the safety of Jews across the world. Also, I have two dear friends that have dad’s with health issues. Shit, I have a cousin with a dad that has health issue. My prayers are with my Uncle Chris, Mr. P and Mr. B…

One thing I did on Bourbon Street that I still do today when I’m waiting in the school pickup line…. I Pray! I pray a shit ton.

It really works…. So does putting the smile on the sun!

……Very therapeutic.

Happy Sunday Funday all you Chalkheads.