I woke up again on the couch and the first thing I thought about was my dad. I wondered if he ever took me to a movie that he thought was shitty.
He took me to that Robin Hood movie in 1974 that was a cartoon. All the characters were different animals. Robin Hood was a fox. Little John was a bear. Prince John was a tiger and the whole story was narrated by a rooster.
I loved it, but looking back, my Oldman must have been dying to get out of the theater and light a cigarette.
Five years later he took me to another stupid movie called “The Black Hole.” It came out during the Star Wars craze. It was Disney’s answer to C-3PO and R2D2. I’m sure the ice cream cone at Petersen’s in Oak Park was more enjoyable for my dad after two hours watching another horseshit movie.
My dad did take me to “Stripes” when I was in high school. After the movie he asked me if I liked the girl’s boobs at the beginning. Bill Murray’s girlfriend who was moving out and breaking up with him.
It was the first time my dad and I talked about tits together.
The last show that my dad and I went and saw at the movies was “Field of Dreams.” He cried at the end and apologized to me on the way home for not playing catch with me more often.
Now I cry every time I see that movie, thinking about my Oldman crying in the Dadillac. We ended up going to Goldy Burgers after the show and having beers and cheeseburgers together.
Yesterday, I took a day off. Something I rarely do. I went to the show with Hazel and Fritz on their last day of Spring Break. They kind of got fucked this year because Hazel was sick at the beginning and their lovely mother ended up in the hospital.
The highlight of their Spring Break ‘25 is going to see “MindCraft” with their Oldman and then going to Parky’s afterwards.
I learned after all of these years that it’s actually called “MineCraft.” Whatever it’s called, it is taking kids off of playgrounds and jamming them into dark fucking basements.
The movie sucked… I hate Jack Black and Stifler’s mom is in it. She’s playing Stifler’s mom once again. It was a great roll twenty-five years ago. Not so much today.
…And Jack Black played himself once again. All it needed was Adam Sandler playing one of his stupid characters.
Johnny Harrigan told me the week before I met my son George,
“Jumbo…. Get ready to watch movies with talking animals, talking cars, talking toasters, lollipop bushes and dysfunctional royal families played by robots. This is your destiny for the next fifteen years.”
Johnny Harrigan was spot on!
I know Hazel and Fritz had a good time. Big cups of pop, huge buckets of popcorn and two hours of building stuff out of big blocks. All I enjoyed yesterday was the pepper and egg sandwich at my favorite hotdog stand.
It is going to be a dreary and cold Saturday in Chicagoland. Go take the kids to a shitty movie and make memories that will forever outlive your agony….
Today is rugby day…. My Chicago Blaze are down in Indy and my Chicago Hounds are out in San Diego.
Play well Gentlemen
