I often chalk about my age group and how we are in a time where are parents are leaving in droves. Christmas weekend I had a dear friend who lost her mom and a colleague who lost her dad. Today I talk about someone we lost almost forty years ago.
Yesterday was the birthday of one of my high school classmates. The first kid to pass away from the Cathedral Class of nineteen eighty-four.
My high school buddy was one of the top academic students in our class and an accomplished cross-country runner. He became sick his freshman year in college and went to heaven the next year.
I look back at this kid often as my first classmate to pass away, but he was also a son and a brother in a strong family. They didn’t get to witness the magic their sibling and child was meant to bring into the world.
Why did one of the brightest stars in so many lives get extinguished so soon?
This kid wasn’t just a sophomore at Wabash. Parents lost their twenty-year-old son that brought joy to the family. Brothers and sisters in their teens and early twenties lost a sibling who gave them support and love for barely two decades.
The word “lost” came up twice in that last paragraph. Let’s try and use the word “gain” several times in the next few paragraphs.
I can’t speak for the family or the other people that knew this guy.
What did I gain when I was going on twenty, losing my first high school classmate?
Let me tell you a quick story about a cold February night in 1983. Me, this kid and a couple other guys from our junior class went out. We went to some event in downtown Indianapolis that was boring, so we went looking for something else to do.
When we were coming to a red light at a pedestrian crossing. I started to take a step off the curb into the street when this kid grabbed my shoulder and pulled me back onto the sidewalk.
An oncoming Metro bus was speeding along the bus lane that I haphazardly stepped into. This kid probably saved me from getting clipped by the bus.
Later that night the four of us found something to do. We ended up getting in trouble for underage drinking at Butler University. That’s a story for another chalk.
That’s just an example of why this kid was around for two decades. He helped and supported everyone he touched.
But why was he gone so soon?
Here is where I start talking about what I gained from this short friendship.
For the rest of my life, I had an example. This kid is part of the mortar that has built my foundation. This straight “A” kid is another reason why I have straight “F’s” in life. He slapped some concrete on my base before he left for heaven.
This classmate from Cathedral was the best example of a Foundation built on Faith, built on Family, built on Friendship.
I’ve never run a cross country race in my life, but this competitor made me a runner for the rest of my life.
Just those half a dozen years we knew each other… he touched me and stayed with me for almost forty more.
This guy never had a career or a family. This kid never had a chance to watch his parents’ age. This kid never experienced the highs and lows that life throws.
But I am better at my career. I am a better father. I was a better son who eventually buried proud parents. I deal with the lows and enjoy the highs because this kid gave me an example. This good kid made me a better man. That was why this kid came into MY life.
Life is full of loss, but it is what we gain from it that makes us stronger.
I hope this post fills up with fond stories and memories about the first student to pass away from the Cathedral class of ‘84.
When I get to heaven, I want to run five miles with this kid. Then when we are finished, I want to split a couple Moosehead’s with him and thank him for the mortar.
I hope you had a good heavenly birthday Matt.
