Didn’t set the alarm and overslept.
Stay Warm!
Saturday, January 20, 2024
January 16th, 2024
I think parenthood put me on the path to becoming a better person. I had to start living by setting examples for crying and crapping little sponges.
It could go either way right now with the three Shepkids.
They could be good human beings that love more than hate. They could be raised to have a good sense of direction with strong voices. If done properly, they will become adults that make wise choices in life.
Or
They will be jagoffs.
Let me give you a few examples.
1: When you are getting off an elevator and an idiot millennial looking at his phone tries barreling in when the doors open….
… you must politely let that stupid fuck know the proper etiquette.
“Pardon me young asshole. Always let people disembark first before entering. Please tell your parents they dropped the ball in this area.”
2: Another example is when you’re running to your train. Standing on the sidewalk looking up at the Sears tower are a half dozen dumbfounded tourists from Salt Licker Arkansas. You must take into fact that they have never seen anything taller than a grain elevator.
So sincerely welcome them to Chicago, tell them tavern style is better than deep dish and to please get the fuck out of the way.
If they don’t get out of the way and you’re going to miss the 2:34pm train….
….show them why you are the Freight Handler who is stormy, husky and brawling as you give them your Chicagoan Big Shoulder.
3: The last example takes place on Ogden Avenue or North Avenue or on Touhy Avenue. Sometimes this can happen when merging onto the Ike, the Kennedy or the Dan Ryan.
“Hey Assclown? Does that piece of shit Honda have a fucking directional?”
Turn signals are installed in your automobile with a purpose. Make a habit of using it Alexander Dumbass.
If the Shepkids just happen to be with me during any of these situations,
Well……… it’s a learning experience!
Nice people must sometimes be assertive.
Just as long as race, sexuality or nationality isn’t involved. You couldn’t imagine how many Polish, homosexual Javelin throwers existed in Chicago during my childhood in the 1970’s. Then again we had Archie Bunker and George Jefferson as neighbors.
I think you can put it together where I was going with that last paragraph. I don’t want to piss off any woke Chalkheads on a cold Tuesday morning.
As long as I show good examples to the Shepkids….
They can also witness their dad showing proper etiquette at the elevator in the lobby, underneath the shadow of the John Hancock and at the congested corner of Harlem Avenue and Roosevelt Road.
What is that number in today’s grabber section? That is how many days since I showed up in Uptown at Cuneo Memorial.
I make a habit of asking Siri how many days it has been since my arrival on earth.
You should try it!
It gives you a good sense of where you are. It’s like pushing sand through your toes when you’re standing on Oak Street Beach.
Let’s have a great Tuesday all you Chalkheads.
Just remember to let people off of the elevator, stand to the side on the sidewalk and always use your turn signal.
Who cares that it’s two outside, the sun will be smiling down on you today!
Monday, January 15, 2024
January 15th Flashback
2023
I came across today’s quote and started thinking about what pleases me. The first things that popped up were vices. A good cocktail, a glass of beer, bacon, coffee, naked sleepovers, hotdogs, pizza and cigars. All of these bring me pleasure and none are too expensive.
Since my divorce and then Covid, I haven’t been too far from home. Life has gotten pretty simple. The big picture is actually quite small at this point.
…and I’ve realized that this is a good thing.
MLK weekend in the past has brought me great pleasure. Young John Shepley often took advantage of a three day weekend in January. From Bourbon Street to the Vegas Strip or the beaches of Florida… MLK weekend was always a great getaway.
How can this MLK weekend even compare? What pleasure can be found sitting around Riverside with a sixteen year old lurking nearby?
Let’s break it down so far…. I got home from work on Friday and paid a couple bills. I went to a tavern and watched “Jeopardy” with a dear friend. I had a couple glasses of Hamms and a shot of Tullamore Dew.
I went home and made George pork chops and green beans. After I made George dinner I went out and met friends for a cocktail and was home early. I watched movies with George and he made popcorn.
Saturday I got up and walked down the river. I saw a deer, I listened to the splashes of the DesPlaines and I breathed the cold fresh air into my lungs. When I got home I made George scrambled eggs with sausage links. After breakfast I folded laundry, vacuumed, dusted and listened to my shows on WDCB.
Later Saturday afternoon I went to a friends house for football and pizza. I had a couple BuckleDown beers and laughed as we made fun of each other and shot the shit. I had to leave earlier than planned because it was time to feed George again.
So compared to a hurricane at Pat O’Briens or a crap table at the Desert Inn… how could this MLK weekend ever compare?
The truth is…..
This weekend blows the past out of the water. I find great pleasure in all the things I mentioned. I’ll never be able to replicate the pleasures of my youth, so the routine of a divorced dad is all that I have.….
…and I find great pleasure in it!
I better end this and go watch the sunrise before George wants breakfast. Yesterday I promised him I’d make waffles today.
Did you guys get a chance to see the moon last night? It sailed across the sky early this morning at a southern angle. Seeing it through the bedroom window brought great pleasure.
2022
I don’t know what the hell normal is…. 98.6?
These poor kids today can’t hold a thermometer to the lightbulb when mom leaves them alone anymore.
You stick the thing in their ear and five seconds later….. they are either normal or running a fever!
Most of us had 105 degree fevers before we figured out how to hold the thermometer just right to the lamp on our nightstand.
I got it down to a science….. the 101.3 to 102.2 range.
Anything under 101.3 and you’re going to school! It was the 1970’s and if you weren’t dying the nuns expected your ass at your desk.
Anything over 102.2 and your mom knew you were trying to jag her around.
I know many of you that are reading this are not normal. Many of you are eclectic, weird, spiritual and theatrical on a daily basis.
How cool is that?
This whole Covid thing has given us alone time or cocoon time to spring out into a post Covid era with a different attitude!
Explore new things… take chances…. Step out of the box!
The day will come!
The day will come and it’s going to be amazing!
This second wave gives us another opportunity to challenge ourselves!
Walk down the avenue and sing show tunes!
That is what I’m going to do!
I’m going to walk over to the grocery singing “If I were a rich man” from Fiddler on the Roof!
Other than that…… put something good in the crockpot and someone you love in your arms….
2021
19,922 days ago on a hot summer day in July of 1966 a child was born into the world! A Jumbosize 9.8 lbs!
So on April 3rd, 2021 I will be 20,000 days year old! I’m going to party that day! It’s a Saturday and I do not have the Shepkids!
2020
I sure hope someone brings bagels and smears into work today! Onion, tomatoes and some salmon would be nice too!
2019
I’m interested in world peace! I’m also looking for my long underwear!
Ignore the assclowns today!
January 15th, 2024
I woke up at 12:47 with the anxiety of worrying about getting Betty started so I can get to work on Tuesday. The Oldman was screaming down from heaven at me, “This too shall pass! Quit worrying and go back to sleep!”
I didn’t go back to sleep. For some reason I started thinking about an old television series on Channel 11 back in the late 1980’s that lasted into the mid 1990’s. The show was called “Wild Chicago” and the host wore a pith helmet and safari outfit. He went to weird places all around Chicagoland.
By now it’s 1:25 and I’m not going back to sleep. So I did the Google thing and found old footage from this legendary television show.
The first clip I watched would make any Dear Old Oak Parker feel sentimental. It was filmed in the old Val’s Halla record store when it was on South Boulevard. Val, her dog and the Elvis tribute room were featured.
It was probably filmed around 1990 and by that time I ditched Val and record albums for compact discs. I bought all my Rolling Stones albums at Val’s. I bought dozens of Chicago Blues albums and a few Wyndham Hill albums there as well.
I’m embarrassed to say the last record album that I bought from Val was The Outfield album that had that Josie vacation song on it.
Val’s introduced me to The Talking Heads, Elvis Costello, Violent Femmes and The Clash.
…. And I end up with a one hit wonder from Spring Break of 1986!
I watched a couple more segments from “Wild Chicago” and decided by 2:25 that this day has begun.
I have the day off and I need to put a new battery in Betty the Green Blazer. I also have to decide if I’m going to let George take the train into the city to take pictures. Chicago is in the middle of a polar vortex and Ansel Adams wants to snap pictures of the CTA.
This too shall pass and the next cycle of anxiety will bring a new wave of uncertainty.
Like a dumb ass, I looked ahead to see when warmer temperatures arrive in the area….. next Tuesday!
Like in a week from tomorrow.
Like in see you next Tuesday.
During this whole Chalkboard I forgot that today we pay tribute to Doctor King.
Back to another Val’s Halla story…. Val sold me an album in the early 1980’s by a group called UB40. It was their debut album and it was very hard to find. It was called “Signing Off” and it featured a haunting song called “King.”
In a way that album changed my musical taste. I went from AC/DC, Foreigner and Bob Seger to Bob Marley, The Cure and The English Beat.
I close out the Monday Morning Chalkboard with lyrics from “King” by UB40.
“King, where are your people now?
Chained and pacified,
Tried in vain to show them how And for that you died.
You had a dream of a promised land.
People of all nations walking hand in hand,
But they're not ready to accept that dream situation, yet.”
Sunday, January 14, 2024
January 14th Flashback
2023
Late chalkboard when you fall asleep watching and explaining “Godfather” and “Godfather two” with your sixteen year old son. The best part of waking up in my chair fully clothed is seeing George sleeping on the couch.
George has been with me since late April. He climbed on his bike at 2:00am on a Saturday morning and rode ten miles to my home in Riverside.
George isn’t just watching mafia movies with his Oldman. Hopefully he’s learning integrity.
He did learn that the hit on Kennedy and Michael Jordan’s father was made just up the road from where we live in Elmwood Park. He also learned that Chicago would be better if the mob was still strong and the Mayor was a Daley.
Teaching integrity, the Chicago way…. And yes. George eats hotdogs with mustard.
Speaking of mustard…. It’s National Pastrami Day! Maybe a trip to Manny’s is just what George needs in his continued education in The Chicago Way…..
The Morning Chalkboard is a late edition today.
I hit the snooze, I talked to my parents, I stared hard at my Farrah Fawcett poster too long and before I knew it…. I ran out without taking a picture of my quote….
Now I’m getting dinner together for the Shepkids and I’m all discombobulated…..
So….. sometimes we have sad periods in our lives. We get kicked in the throat by an event and we start a downhill trend….
Straight F’s in Life….
FOUNDATION: FAITH- FAMILY- FRIENDS
Things always get better… I mean…. Shit…. Our time here is limited….. skip the rainbow and run for the sun baby!
Blackhawks are a perfect example of the ups and downs of life…. Lose 6, win 4, lose 5, win 2…… take the good days and deal with the bad!
That’s what the snooze bar, praying and Farrah Fawcett are there for…. To take the stress away!
2021
The Talking Heads and the Pale Hose have always been there to remind me how simple life really is.
2020
When I was a little boy my mommy sang “You light up my life.” by Debbie Boone to me... Her job was to make me feel special.
While my dad always made sure I knew the world doesn’t think the same!
“Only a few people in this world think your special son! When you walk out that front door none of them are out there!”
Good balance of parenting!
Anyway.... if you read this.... go light up the world!
January is about halfway done...
January 14th, 2024
The first thing I did when I woke up was check the temperature. Then I did my morning prayers and I heard my Oldman scream down from heaven.
His advice this morning from eternal rest was something I heard often through the years.
“Moose….. stay warm today! It’s colder than a witch’s tit out there!”
Can he say that out loud with the Virgin Mary in shouting distance?
Our parents generation had some interesting phrases on cold days. I had an uncle that would say, “it’s colder than a mother-in-law’s kiss out there.”
…and my mom would say, “it’s colder than penguin snot out there.”
Today’s quote isn’t Shakespearean or from Churchill. Dave Chappelle said it near the end of his latest Netflix special.
He also said, “if you don’t go after your dreams, you can end up in someone else’s dream.”
I wasn’t expecting a poignant message from a comedian who was just bashing transgenders and handicapped people earlier in his show.
…..But I did!
All of our dreams overlap and we don’t even realize it. We need to understand that we could be in someone else’s world and the role we play can make or break their aspirations.
Dreams are worth fighting for and should never be given up on. Most of the time when we quit dreaming is at the point when we need them the most.
Take out the word “dream” and replace it with the word “life.” Because our time together really is a combination of both. Sprinkle in the occasional fucking nightmare and we have all the sands of our hourglass.
We have expectations, we have doubt and we have the old clock on the kitchen wall directing us constantly.
We are the directors, we are our own dream makers. Sometimes you just have to ignore expectations, doubt and timing.
This is what I came away with after watching Dave Chappelle last night.
I didn’t wake up this morning dreaming about a cup of coffee and a piece of coffee cake from Oak Park bakery. I woke up wanting them because they are real and easily attainable.
….so I made a pot of coffee and then mother fucked myself for not going to the bakery yesterday.
What is the point here?
If we want something, make it so!
A cup of coffee is like anything else in life that you want. A raise, a new car, a vacation, better health, a new lover, strong friendships, deeper faith.
Those aren’t dreams, those are all things in life to run to and grab.
So chase your dreams and get in the car and drive to the bakery.
I’m actually dreaming about a pastrami sandwich from The Onion Roll up on North Avenue. All I need to do is get my big ass in Betty the Green Blazer and drive up Oak Park Avenue.
It’s National Hot Pastrami Day. The Onion Roll opens at eight and Manny’s opens up at nine-thirty. Make your dream become life and order a bowl of matzo ball soup as well. Maybe even a couple latkes and a black and white for good measure.
Saturday, January 13, 2024
January 13th Flashback
2023
You have to imagine how stressful fifty four years of being Elvis Presley’s daughter really was. This is a celebrity death that doesn’t hit me hard.
Prince, Walter Payton, David Bowie, Robin Williams… those were painful losses.
It happens in three’s most of the time. So who are the other two celebrities that will be tied to Lisa Marie? It sure as hell better not be Willie Nelson! That will be a hard one to take.
Dead Pools were always a New Year tradition on the trading floor. There was some big money thrown around at the expense of pop art life. The trick was picking someone young who didn’t live a real volatile life.
It was easy to pick someone long in the tooth, but if you parlayed a long shot into your selections… you’d win a nice chunk of change. Someone picked the girl from TLC and made a boatload of money one year. It will go down in Chicago Board of Trade history, “the Rosemary Clooney, Mayor Bilandic, “Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes Dead Pool.” I know I was in the running because I took Dudley Moore that year.
Today in Boston a statue will be unveiled before the MLK weekend. It’s a bronze statue of arms. The arms of Doctor King and his wife Coretta. It is designed after the embrace Mrs King gave here husband after he won the Nobel prize for peace.
Speaking of embracing…. I’ll continue to embrace this weather tightly. Very little snow and one Arctic blast so far this winter. I know we are going to get jagged over in March or April. We are going to pay the price for a mild winter in someway. Probably at the Saint Patrick’s Day parade when it is twelve degrees and my Guinness freezes up.
Have a great Friday and don’t worry about today’s date.
2022
In August of 2006 my life changed for the better. I was forty years old and I finally became a man. I became a father.....
I was given the gift of a son. A son that was high maintenance right off the bat. I didn't know any better because I was new at this parent thing.
He walked right away, he talked right away (loud and quickly), he was reading right away....
He was also having difficulty sleeping every night, he was putting playground chips in his mouth all the time, he was taking off his itchy clothes all the time and he was pushing his mother and I to our limits all the time.
We couldn't find the right daycare or a perfect babysitter and the stress was getting thick around the house.
One day I told a guy at work that I was starting to understand why crackheads throw their crying babies out of six floor windows.
My ex wife tried homeopathic methods, she tried diets, she tried everything. She found therapists. She got him an IEP and that was a blessing. Finally we took him to get tested.
When the Doctor told us our son was on the Autistic Spectrum my ex wife started crying. "Mrs. Shepley.... the halls at Northwestern and the University of Chicago are full of kids Like George!"
I have watched George go from being a boy on the Spectrum to becoming a young man on the Spectrum. He has watched me grow older as well.
Many of us have a Special Needs Child. From Autism to Downs Syndrome to Diabetes.
The thing is these are not handicaps... these are lights that shine differently.
We all belong in a category..... all with different challenges.... all with endless possibilities.
Parenthood brings the joy and pain of watching our children grow and without knowing it our children are watching us grow as well.
I hear my dad everyday say, "Did you give them a good example before you blew your top?"
I wonder where my dad came up with that brilliant theory..... Live and Learn!
Our job as Parents is to leave the world a better us.... I'm better than Don Shepley and George will be better than me....
Monday night everyone should go out and howl at the full moon!
Already the middle of January and this winter has been uneventful! Let’s keep it that way!
2020
Already the middle of January and this winter has been uneventful! Let’s keep it that way!
So we got a little more snow then predicted... enjoy a Sunday Funday! Geaux Saints!
Cold Saturday just gonna cook dinner and binge watch TV programs! Tomorrow though.... Sunday Funday Geaux Saints!
.......the 4th grade waterboy for Saint Cletus will have a bottle of your finest please!
January 13th, 2024
I had so many ideas for today’s Chalkboard last night, but when I woke up this morning…. Crickets.
I like the placement of this three day weekend just a couple weeks after the rush of the holiday season. It gives everyone a chance to recuperate and collect themselves.
I have a shitload of things to do before the arrival of this arctic blast plowing towards Chicagoland.
The snow event that just occurred didn’t live up to the hype. Though the new boots on Betty the Green Blazer worked splendidly.
I did run across an old colleague on the way home yesterday afternoon. I heard a faint beep coming from the car in the passing lane and there was an old face from the trading floor. This guy was driving cautiously in the snow down York Road when suddenly Betty from the Morning Chalkboard turned in front of him off of Roosevelt Road.
I’m sure the Reagan/Bush sticker, the “I love hot moms” sticker and the “I’m JumboLove” sticker gave it away! When I die friends and family will say that I was the one non-famous person that didn’t have anonymity.
Everywhere I drive people probably ask, “Who is this JumboLove guy?”
....and the response might be, “Just some Republican who likes rugby and loves hot moms!”
The colleague I ran into always had an experiment when he had customers down on the trading floor. He would ask them if they knew who John Shepley was and they would always reply, “no.”
Back in the day when a guy at a trading desk picked up the phone, he’d yell, “Jumbo! What’s the market?!?!”
…and I’d flash the bid and ask currently in the pit.
All these big shot traders visiting from New York, London and Singapore all wanted to meet this Jumbo guy, but my colleague would introduce them to John Shepley first and let them figure out that I was the legend they were looking for. It worked every time Paul from GCM had guests.
Just one of the million stories that developed on the Chicago Board of Trade trading floors. Those were the days, but we all moved on and got older.
Today is Saturday and the playoffs begin. Tomorrow is a Sunday Funday thanks to Marty King. Crockpots and couches are the recipe for success this weekend.
Stay warm all you Midwest Chalkheads….
I hope your team plays well this weekend. I’m pulling for a Browns and Lions matchup in SuperBowl LVIII.
If you can’t put the smile on the sun this weekend, just sit back and watch shit do stuff…. and enjoy the pot roast.
Friday, January 12, 2024
January 12th flashback
2023
I guess if you’re going to have a Led Zeppelin song dance in your head, “Tangerine” isn’t a bad pick.
The dreaded earworm!
We have CNBC on all day at work and they constantly run the “Kars for Kids” commercial. Nothing worse than trying to concentrate while having …. “1-877 Kars for Kids, donate your car today!” Zipping through your head while your boss is yelling at you to sell a thousand call spreads.
Lately I’ve been getting hit with…. “Walter E. Smithe you dream it, we’ll build it” during the trading day. That reminds me, I need to find George a bigger bed.
Anyway, earworms….. Led Zeppelin good, Air Supply not so good.
A lot of times when I get whacked with a bad earworm I start singing “Bear Down, Chicago Bears” or “Superbowl Shuffle.”
It’s Thursday…. If you have an old car, donate it. If you need a new sectional or nightstand, call the hotties at the fancy furniture store. If you have a Whitney Houston earworm running through your head call the Dream Police instead.
...And with that thought, I leave you with this earworm.
“Cause they're waiting for me
They're looking for me
Every single night they're driving me insane
Those men inside my brain
The dream police, they live inside of my head
The dream police, they come to me in my bed
The dream police, they're coming to arrest me….”
Thursday, January 12th has suddenly become Cheap Trick Earworm Day!
Get up out of bed and get this Thursday started. Because…mommies alright, daddies alright, they just seem a little weird.
2022
I’ve met a lot of guys that were born on third base, but thought that they hit a triple. Born into a family that had more advantages than others.
I wasn’t born on third base. In fact I had to take the el to the ballpark and when I got there….. nosebleed seats.
For most of my formative years I lived with my mom. She was a very sad person. Always looking at the past with disappointment and the future with doubt and fear. Not a healthy situation to live in.
My mom could have gone to The Juilliard, but instead went into the family business….. the convent.
Yep, my mom was a nun for five years.
I’ll never know the real story on that decision, but it haunted her for the rest of her life.
So when it came to me and my perspective I learned to leave the anger of disappointment in the past and push forward towards a bright future.
Sometimes I walked myself into a shitshow, but it didn’t stop me and I kicked the crap off my shoes and moved on….
Life doesn’t have to be a thread of hope. It’s a rope and we are playing Tug of War.
Grip hard and angle your fatass so to have a strong position and control of the momentum of life.
Kiss a Ginger Day! I have the Shepkids on Wednesdays. So I’ll have that chance.
Little warm up in Chicagoland…. The line at the car wash will be long!
2021
Bill Belichick made me search for this quote... his story this week is a strong message.
Most of us make sacrifices everyday and don’t even know it and we sure as hell have sacrificed since last March.
The biggest sacrifice of all was the skinny Jewish kid’s a couple thousand years ago!
Sunday Funday! I woke up between my Redheads with an “I love you dad” and a kiss! Perfect start for Kiss a Ginger Day!
2019
West Ham won!
Coffee and bacon!
It just started to snow!
Two good friends checked on me this morning and I talked to my Daddy for forty minutes!
Stumbling along through life is an adventure that has no replay button!
Enjoy your Saturday my Facebook world... it’s okay if you don’t have any clean knickers in the underwear drawer!
2018
Happy Friday.........
January 12th, 2024
It is Kiss a Ginger Day… I’ve loved kissing Gingers since the first time I watched “The Quiet Man” as a little boy.
I kissed a redhead on a snowy night one time. It was Saint Valentine’s Day of 1990. Chicago had a blizzard and I helped her shovel her dad’s driveway.
(This seems to be the common theme this week, shoveling parents driveways…..unplanned.)
It’s supposed to snow today…. Any redheads out there need their driveway shoveled?
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