The Hemingway quote this morning isn’t about being tough for the sake of looking tough. It is about integrity and not quitting on yourself.
“Forget your personal tragedy. When you get the damned hurt, use it.”
That sounds harsh in today’s world, but men from past generations understood exactly what Hemingway meant. Hell, most of us who grew up under those guys understood it too.
Don’t romanticize your wounds. Don’t use tragedy as an excuse. Don’t become sentimental about suffering. You bow your neck, square your shoulders and plow through pain and tragedy.
That doesn’t mean those men didn’t hurt. Most of them were tormented in ways they never talked about. A lot of the loudest and funniest guys in the room were carrying around enough sadness to sink a battleship. Extroverted on the outside, exhausted and introverted on the inside…
… but they were taught that self-pity was a dangerous drug.
My parents raised me that way. Work hard, be good to people and have fun when you can. Never ask for a handout. Always keep your word and show up when you say you will.
When life caves in on you and eventually it will…
… rely on Faith, Family and friends to hold the foundation together.
The older I get, the more I realize the previous generation wasn’t trying to suppress emotion. They simply believed pain had a purpose. That hurt was supposed to sharpen you, humble you and eventually become useful.
That is probably why Hemingway told Fitzgerald to “use it.”
Use the heartbreak, the failures, the rejection and the loneliness. Turn it into productive work, stronger character, clearer perspective and deeper compassion.
Because eventually every scar either becomes wisdom or bitterness. The choice between the two usually depends on whether a man decides to surrender to tragedy or carry it with dignity.
