Sooner than later, this chalkboard is going to come to an end.
When it does, I want it to end knowing I never held anything back. I didn’t stay quiet to make other people comfortable. I didn’t stop talking about the things that actually matter.
We hear plenty from parents whose kids are on the Dean’s List, headed to elite schools, starring on teams and collecting trophies. Those proud parents talk a lot and have every right. What we don’t hear about are the parents whose kids are struggling. The bad grades, the depression, the medication, the anxiety, the quiet pain. Those parents usually don’t talk and when they do, they are often judged for it.
I have been criticized for talking too much. For being too open. For saying things I probably “shouldn’t.” When it is all said and done, I want to be that guy. The one who pushed the pedal down, brought the hard subjects into the light, and made people stop and think.
I am not the parent with a child headed to the Ivy League. I am not raising a star athlete that everyone brags about. I am the parent of a child who is sad, who is struggling and who isn't doing well. This fall, my daughter went through her first and probably not her last round of rehab and psychological care for depression and anxiety. Some of that pain came from life. Some of it came from divorce. None of it came from failure to love her.
Parenthood is hard. Life is hard. It was hard when we were kids and it is harder now. These kids came of age through COVID, isolation, social media, and phones that never shut off. The world comes at them fast and without mercy. What used to be hidden now lives in their pockets.
Here is the truth we don’t say out loud enough.... If your family feels like a mess right now, you are not alone. If you are scared for your children, exhausted, unsure, ashamed, or just worn down... you are not alone.
We just want our children to grow up happy, healthy and secure in their independence.
If this chalkboard ever stands for anything, let it be that honesty matters and integrity matters. Parents going through a shit show need to know they are not the only ones.
We need each other.
We need prayer.
We need grace ...and sometimes, we just need someone brave enough to tell the truth.
Shakespeare had it right, it is a wise parent that knows their child and so do the parents who keep showing up every day, even when it hurts.
A week from today is Christmas Eve. Don't pout and don't cry.
I'm sure I don't need to tell you why......
