Last night, the sunset didn’t do its job. Neither did the lightning bugs. Neither did my jazz music.
I sat on the balcony with a Manhattan and I let the day settle deep into my chest. Hard bop from seventy years ago poured from the speaker, but even Miles Davis and John Coltrane couldn’t shake the ache. The kind of ache that won’t show up on a calendar, but settles firmly into your bones.
I have a daughter who won’t come over to Riverside. I have an ex who would rather stir than settle and a home that I built on the belief that the Shepkids would always feel safe.
Just when I was sitting there talking to the night like it owed me a paycheck, Fritz came out on the balcony. Quietly, no big speech. Just checking on his Oldman. He was in the middle and he knew his Oldman wasn't his gregarious self. That is when I told him and now, I am telling you Chalkheads...
A bad day can’t become a bad week. A bad week can’t become a bad month and a bad month can’t turn into a bad year. Because that can only scar a glorious life.
We can't let that happen.
I know it isn't kosher to write about our problems in public. This board is where I go to talk to something steadier than Bob Newhart. It is my therapist and maybe yours as well. Sometimes when you are going through a shit storm, you gotta say it out loud so it doesn’t eat you alive in silence.
I don’t have any answers today.
But I’ve got this...
... pain makes us stronger if we let it teach us. Melody doesn’t always cure the ache, but it reminds us we are still alive enough to feel it.
So today, I’ll chalk the board. I’ll stack another brick. I’ll stand in the same spot I have stood in for many years. Because even when the melody is minor, the tune still plays.
...and when Hazel reads this someday, I hope she knows that her daddy’s home is the safest place in her world and the foundation she needs is always here.
Saturday is Daiquiri Day, I quoted Hemingway and my weatherman says we might have some rain. I just need you Chalkheads to walk on the sunnier side of your journey and bring an umbrella. If you are a banker and it is pouring rain, wear your mac and go check on Eleanor.
