October 17th, 2024

 Today’s quote comes from someone that became famous for improvising.

…and that is what she is saying to us on today’s Morning Chalkboard.

Not only did she improvise on the stage, but she showed the world at the end of her life how to go with the flow and stay strong.

She became famous in life on SNL as a member of the original cast. More importantly she left her legacy after dying from ovarian cancer.

Gilda Radner first made an impact as Roseanne Roseannadanna, but in death she brought awareness for generations to come with her illness. Gilda gave faith to other women going through the same battle.

The most successful people that I’ve met through the years. The happiest people that I’ve met through the years…

…. Are the people that knew how to make the best of it.

Nobody really knows what the fuck is going to happen in life. Take it as it comes and make the best of it.

If you can do that…

… you’ll be alright.

The Full Moon will cross over your piece of the world tonight. The October version is called the Hunter Moon.

But for me it is the one that reminds me to dance and celebrate the ups and downs of life.

Tonight will be a marvelous chance for a moondance with the stars up above and in your eyes.

Tonight is also a fantabulous night to find some romance underneath that October sky.

If only we can dance and improvise like Gilda Radner. Taking the punches in life would be so much easier.

Be astonished, make the best of it and always improvise

October 16th, 2024

 Let’s start Wednesday out with a metaphor… the thorn on a rose.

Life is full of risk and challenges. You have to take a chance if you want your goals and dreams to come true.

I helped my Gramma cut roses in her garden when I was a little boy. I took heed to her warning, but the prettier roses seemed to always be at the back of the bushes.

I wanted to give my mommy the prettiest flower, so getting pricked by the thorns was the price I learned to pay.

My mommy loved her bouquet and that was all that mattered.

The path of life isn’t always smooth and has many detours. Most of the time it’s either under construction or covered with snow.

Just like the thorn on a rose, we may encounter pain on the way.

Today is National Liqueur Day. I’m a huge Frangelico guy myself. I also enjoy a nice Grand Marnier. My dad always brought out a bottle of Licor 43 on special occasions.

My fondest memories from childhood was at My Uncle and Aunties' house outside of Indianapolis. Their house favorite was a liqueur that no longer exists, Cheri-Suisse. It came in a milk white bottle with a long neck and a pointy tip that looked like a Swiss chalet.

One Christmas Eve, Uncle Chris handed me a small cordial glass and sternly told me to sip it.

After that initial sip, I chugged the rest and that was when I realized the importance of an after dinner drink.

Be astonished today, grab the rose carefully and enjoy a nice cordial this evening

October 15th, 2024

 I’m not sure why I took on the challenge of a Freddy Nietzsche quote on a Tuesday morning.

Maybe the German philosopher wants us to let our hair down and enjoy the things that make us happy? It brings into mind the idea of lying in your deathbed questioning if you should have spent less time at work and more time with family.

Never lay in any bed and question yourself!!!

At this point in life I should probably relax and see what the future brings instead of continuing to worry about making sure things fall into place.

This is what we are going to tell Nietzsche.

Life is too short and we spend most of it trying to figure out who the fuck we are and what our purpose is supposed to be. A Tuesday morning is perfect to realize that it’s been YOU this whole time and YOU are doing alright. It is all going to work out in the grand scheme of things.

Tuesday morning never looked so good. Let’s ditch Freddy Nitch and pick up with Freddy Jones. The sun will soon be shining. Take the time to be alone with the sky and enjoy a daydream.

Am I the only one who has realized that Hanukkah and Christmas Day both fall on the same day this year?

Make sure to keep your Menorah candles at a safe distance for your Christmas tree.

Let’s go Chalkheads… Christians, go out and get a menorah. Jews, go get a little Christmas tree. Let’s celebrate ourselves and each other and bring peace into our hearts

Bring peace and astonishment to your Tuesday

October 14th, 2024

 My Oldman had this saying, “The truth is faster.” I had a stage when I lied, but Don Shepley made sure it didn’t last very long.

He had another saying after I lied to him.

“You talk like a man with a paper asshole!”

For years I never knew what the hell he meant by that phrase. I finally figured it out in my early twenties.

It basically means someone is so full of shit, they have to constantly wipe their ass with toilet paper.

I currently have a child in the liar stage and she isn’t very good at it. Her brothers haven’t forgotten that the truth is faster, but she sure has.

Now I can take the low road and start blaming someone for teaching this one Shepkid that it’s alright to lie, but I won’t.

My dad had one more line that he used during my stage as a liar.

He told me liars end up being by themselves. They end up sitting on the couch every night with a bottle or two of wine. Liars end up blaming everyone else for their problems while they continue to live in the past. After a liar has lied to the last person, all they have left to lie to is themselves. They live a lonely life of lies.

That statement had a heavy impact on me forty-five years ago. I hope it had a heavy impact on the Shepkid that heard it yesterday afternoon.

Today is Columbus Day. Since I don’t know any Indians and a huge chunk of my friend base is Italian-American….

…Enjoy your day Paisans, I hope you get your statues back.

To any Native Americans that might be reading the Morning Chalkboard. I hope Cleveland and Washington someday return back to using your names for their sports teams.

I’m just kidding, just kidding!

Just being a Monday morning jagoff talking like a man with a paper asshole.

Stay clear of jagoffs and be astonished

October 13th, 2024

 Today’s quote is by Kahlil Gibran, a Lebanese writer and philosopher. The quote captures the spirit of what the Morning Chalkboard has become over seven years.

I’ve opened up and shown Chalkheads that it is alright to be vulnerable. By showing the world who I am, I’ve gotten a better sense of who I am for myself. This fucking chalkboard has become my therapist. Hopefully all the stupid crap I talk about has helped some of you as well.

I’m looking forward to seeing a shit ton of drunk people around ten o’clock this morning. The heavyweights might even roll the early morning Bear game into the afternoon. I kind of like this early kickoff from London, England.

Get the game over early and have the rest of the day for Sunday Funday.

This week brings the middle of October already. In twenty-three days we change the clocks and get three months of sunsets before five o’clock. Which means the Afghan on my couch and I are going to become intimate until mid February.

Enjoy the afternoon walks while you have daylight.

Be astonished and monster the midway baby

October 12th, 2024

  I received an email from the Shepkid's mom yesterday that Fritz will be ready for pick up after work, but Hazel isn’t coming to Riverside until lunchtime on Saturday.

This has been happening more and more lately and it makes me feel sad.

So, I climbed into Betty the Green Blazer and headed west of Mannheim to pick up Fritz only.

I was stuck at the light at Willow Springs road heading west on Plainfield Road. I was about five cars back from the stop light with Amy Winehouse singing on WXRT.

I faintly hear “Dad! Dad! Dad? Dad? Daaaaaaad!”

That sounds like Hazel’s soft, but sometimes harsh little voice. I turn down Betty’s radio and hear it again. Standing in a front yard on Plainfield road is my daughter and a handful of her friends.

On Hazel’s face is a big smile. A smile wider than my rear end and with a little duckling wave I get a “Hi Dad!”

“You okay daughter? You having fun?”

Through that big smile of hers she says, “I’m having fun dad!.!.!”

My sadness went away in a flash of joy seeing my Hazel smiling and having fun.

The light turned green and the cars started to slowly move….

In my booming Chicago Board of Trade open outcry voice…. “HAZEL!”

Sheepishly replying, “yeah dad…..”

“I LOVE YOU HAZEL!”

Off she ran behind a big bush as all her friends stared with big smiles at the old guy sitting in his green blazer driving into the late afternoon sun. As I drove away I can still hear the group giggling as I imagined my daughter looking back at her friends…

“Oh my God! Is my dad gone? He is so embarrassing!”

Yes, embarrassment was my initial intention, but so was the seed that I planted.

I love my daughter, her sixth grade friends now know Hazel’s dad loves her and someday when I being waked…

… those little girls will walk up to Hazel and remind her when they saw Mr. Shepley in Betty the Green Blazer back in sixth grade. They’ll recall how their friend was embarrassed when her dad shouted that he loved her. Hazel’s grief will ease as she remembers how much her daddy loves her.

I drove off in my twenty-seven year old vehicle feeling wealthy. I was given the gift of seeing a happy daughter. Hell yes it’s more fun at eleven to be with friends rather than stinky old dad. I’m good with that because I just want my daughter to be happy.

Today is National Farmer’s Day. The American Farmer is literally the salt of the earth. Baseball and corn crops are the two consistent things that we can lean on every summer.

Thank you for the hard work!

A stranger lately to the Morning Chalkboard appears today, raindrops.

I am always astonished by an autumn rainstorm

October 11th, 2024

 There was a shit ton of Jews working on the trading floor back in the day. It was noticeable on Yom Kippur when they were gone.

Yom Kippur is their holiest of all days. It is the day of atonement. My Oldman explained to me when I was a kid that it was like going to confession all day long. Catholics had to go confess anytime they sinned. Jews only had to go once a year and they didn’t have to say twenty Hail Mary’s when they got home.

When the Jews would return to the pits the next day, we’d tell them about the kegs that we had placed around the floor. We had sexy girls walking around handing out sandwiches and appetizers.

I took it even farther and told my Jewish buddies that “Kool and the Gang” set up a stage next to the bond option pit.

It’s going to be a slow trading day with all the Jews gone, let’s have a good time and celebrate.

Kegs in every pit, dessert tables, mini bars, sculptured ice and the Rockettes dancing around handing out Polish sausage sandwiches.

I fucking loved Yom Kippur at the Chicago Board of Trade. It was like that Eddie Murphy skit on SNL when he became white for a day.

Schlomo, Ari, David, Ira and Adam all knew that we took the liberty of bullshitting them. I miss those fucking guys.

Trading slowly faded away on the floor and like a canary in the coal mine, the Jews slowly disappeared.

I look back at the last day we traded at the Chicago Board of Trade, March 13th in 2020. The floor was going to close for a couple weeks for Covid, but it never opened back up.

We should have had a keg and a smorgasbord that day, but everyone was paranoid about this China flu thing that was closing everything down.

I wish my Jewish friends a peaceful and healthy Day of Atonement.

May we all be astonished and atoned today… Shana Tovah