Last night, I was sitting on the balcony, cocktail in hand, reflecting on the end of July. That is when I received a text from a thread that I am on with about a dozen old buddies.
It simply read: “You meet your eighteen-year-old self. Only three words are allowed. What do you say?”
Now, you Chalkheads know how much I value reflection, so I sat with it for a bit.
My first thought was: “Find Steve Weiler.”
If I didn’t do that, I wouldn’t have this group of friends on this text, The Wild Turkeys. Weiler and I painted houses for Campus Corp and he introduced me to his friends, who instantly became mine.
The second option... “Don’t marry her," but then again, without that, I wouldn’t have a son who sees the world clearer than I do. A son with my father’s strength and wit and a daughter who has completely redefined how I see women.
Then came “Find her clitoris,” but let’s leave that one alone, my mother-in-law is a Chalkhead, and we don’t need that kind of awkwardness when we go see her later today.
"Take more chances” crossed my mind, but hell, that might have changed my whole trajectory and the course that I have taken.
“Don’t dial drunk” Sure, but some of those 2:30 a.m. calls got me laid. It also earned me some damn good conversations with my Oldman when I showed up at his place with a double cheeseburger smothered in grilled onions and a side of greasy fries from Gossage Grill.
Then there was “Don’t stress it," and that is how today’s chalkboard quote landed: “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”
... but when it comes down to it, the three words I would tell 18-year-old John Shepley....
“Hug your parents.”
That is the winner.
"John, I'm Jumbo from 2025. Hug your parents more often… and buy Apple stock.”
Today is National Summit Day. Some of us have climbed mountains. Some of us just took the elevator to the top floor of the Hancock.
It doesn’t matter. What matters is we made the ascent.
So, here is what I’m telling you today: Hug your parents more often and let her show you where the g-spot is.
There is a smile on the sun today. Go throw some bratwursts on the grill. Share some love between the sheets and take your shadow for a walk somewhere it hasn’t been in a while, maybe you will find amazement.
